Here it is, the night before I take a test over my first two years of med school. I have all of this shit crammed in my brain, but I'm scratching my head because I have absolutely no clue what goes on in the female brain. I'm about to go off TonyG style, so if you share my confusion you can stop reading now.
Been with this girl for a year and a half, never cheated on her once. Plenty of chances but I didn't want to hurt her. We've had our rough times, but many more good ones. It had all the makings of a possible marriage, so after trying to get out of it for months I finally agreed to live with her. We live 3 hours apart and she's close with her family. So am I, but they're a little too close. As in, her parents started doing everything they could to keep her home when they found out two months ago.
As she is not a T Vixen (yet), she has caved in to their pressures and taken the easy way out: trying to get me to break up with her. I don't quit when shit gets a little rough. I haven't seen her in almost a month. It's been back and forth, I'm moving, I'm not moving. Finally I got fed up and said "fine, don't move here, you're still paying your half of the rent for the next 5 months." Now I'm the bad guy. It's now July 1 and we signed the lease on April 5. Still hasn't moved in. Over the course of the past 2 weeks, she's gone from wanting to mother my children to not sure what she wants to do because she's not happy, to wanting to break up. Not go on a break, not take some time apart, nada. Finito. At first I was kinda bummin cuz I've been looking forward to finally getting to hit it on a daily basis. JK, I really do love her and miss her. But eventually the T started flowing again and as my exam drew nearer, my stress levels also have risen.
It all came to a head today. I'm cramming my ass off cuz she has been fucking with my head for the past few weeks, telling me she's coming to talk, blah blah, and then her parents need her for some bullshit like planting flowers so she can't come. So yesterday I flipped on her, I told her how much of a spoiled little brat she is and how much I've done for her and her family, and now they're throwing me in the gutter. Where's the love? Anyway I'm studying and my landlord comes to the door. Says he just called her house and her dad answered, told him that she and her mother were on their way here. The day before my test. At that point, I was ready to blow a gasket. She couldn't be fucked to drive here to get her stuff any other day but right before my test. Why not while I wasn't home tomorrow morning? I'm like, ok now they wanna fuck with my head. I was so ready to unleash the fury on her and her mommy, but as soon as she walked in the door I instantly went from a raging T man psychopath to the world's biggest pussy. I've always been kind of a pig, but with her I'm a softie no matter how hard I try. I told her I wanted out a few times but I gave her second chances. But will she give living together a chance? Hell no, it's time to curl up into a ball and feel sorry for yourself.
Her mom stayed in the car for an hour and a half while we talked and she cried her eyes out. Tells me she thinks she might have made a bad decision and that she wants to think about it. Said she knew she couldn't do it when it came down to us face to face. Exact words were, "I knew I couldn't leave you." Yeah no shit, that's why you avoided seeing me for the past month. It's much easier to be full of shit over the phone. Anyway, I had all of her shit packed up and by the door. She tells me she wants to leave it here but her mom would get pissed cuz they drove all the way here. So you can see what's going on here by now. She then said that she'll be back in a few days with her stuff and all the rest of her things.
Can somebody throw me a frickin bone here? Like, what made her think that she could make herself fall out of love with me so the decision would be easier for her? Yeah, instead of having to leave the womb at age 23, I'll just sabotage my relationship so I won't have to make a tough decision. As if she didn't already make the decision when she signed the lease. I'm sure she knew deep down that when she came to our condo she wouldn't be able to leave something this good (me). That's probably why she put it off for so long. So my question is, is this girl crazier than normal or will she grow up when she grows a sac and moves out? I always believed in her until a few days ago, and now I'm just not sure.