T Nation

Some Drunk Guy Walked Into My Apartment...

I had the door unlocked and went upstairs to use the restroom. I heard the door slam pretty loud and it spooked the crap out of me. Sometimes, I can hear it when my neighbors slam their doors but I was sure this one was mine and there was an uninvited dude in my apartment.

So I sprint down the stairs and see this disheveled guy standing there in jeans and a t-shirt with his jacket on the floor. I ran up to him and clocked him pretty hard in the jaw. I was freaking out. He fell down and I hit him a couple more times.

He was conscious but laying there mumbling incoherently. I didn’t want to leave him to grab my phone and asked him if he had a weapon. He said a switchblade. I opened my front door and my neighbor was outside vacuuming his car. I kept yelling at him and finally got his attention. He called 911.

The guy started to bleed. He picked a piece of gum I think it was from his mouth and flicked it outside. Thank god it was outside and not on the middle of my floor. I was still standing over him telling just to lay there until the police came.

After I realized he was just some drunk guy and posed little further threat other than bleeding all over my floor, I let him get up and told him to sit on my porch. He spit out more of his bloody gums.

The police arrived and the paramedics were giving me the thumbs up. I filled out a police report and they left. The whole event lasted like 15 minutes at most.

My adrenaline is still sky high.

My man… I’m guessing you don’t own a firearm. Dude may be lucky you don’t.

No joke, I had just gotten back from the range. My guns were sitting there unloaded on the couch waiting to be cleaned no more than 3 steps from where the guy was when I hit him.

I’m glad I wasn’t fapping. Need to be more careful about locking the door.

I’m glad you took the situation in your hands and didn’t hesitate. Kudos

[quote]theuofh wrote:

So I sprint down the stairs and see this disheveled guy standing there in jeans and a t-shirt with his jacket on the floor. I ran up to him and clocked him pretty hard in the jaw. I was freaking out. He fell down and I hit him a couple more times.
[/quote]

I loled.

Perfect reaction! Glad the guns werent ready to be used for his and your sake! How are the hands feeling?

Nicely done sir.

I am glad you are fine and no one died or had their Gingiva quite literally punched out… Oh wait, some did ;). How exactly do you punch out a person’s gums? Do you have pics of them?

edited for typo

Glad everything is ok.

You handled things better than I probably would have.

I was once in a motel room before the time of cell phones and a drunk with a freaking key to my room barged in.(Indian owned hotel, drunk Indian guy with key).

I was asleep at the time and it scared the shit out of me. I grabbed the phone (closest thing to the bed) and threw it at the guy and missed. Then we just stared at each other for an eternity while I realized I was naked and had no way to call 911. He eventually backed out of the room.

Piece of something he spit out.

looks like he had far too much fibre in his diet.

He was playing with his teeth and they were loose. I didn’t ask the paramedics the damage but he went to the hospital.

I was trying to knock him out so I was aiming for his jaw. It might have been pieces of the inside of his cheek. I didn’t hit him in the face.

When I was in college, I had some guys break in with a crowbar during Thanksgiving. I didn’t go home but my roomates did. I caught them downstairs and said something like “Can I Help You?”. I ended up taking some good shots with the crowbar. I had stitches on my head and cheek and some huge knots on my head. I even pissed my pants a little bit and I’m lucky to have survived that one. It was the scariest event in my life.

It taught me a valuable lesson: If you come across someone uninvited and unexpected in your home, its in your self interest to assume malicious intent and fight for your life.

[quote]theuofh wrote:
He was playing with his teeth and they were loose. I didn’t ask the paramedics the damage but he went to the hospital.

I was trying to knock him out so I was aiming for his jaw. It might have been pieces of the inside of his cheek. I didn’t hit him in the face.

When I was in college, I had some guys break in with a crowbar during Thanksgiving. I didn’t go home but my roomates did. I caught them downstairs and said something like “Can I Help You?”. I ended up taking some good shots with the crowbar. I had stitches on my head and cheek and some huge knots on my head. I even pissed my pants a little bit and I’m lucky to have survived that one. It was the scariest event in my life.

It taught me a valuable lesson: If you come across someone uninvited and unexpected in your home, its in your self interest to assume malicious intent and fight for your life.[/quote]

Jesus Dude that sounds pretty rough. I’m glad you got out of that ok.

Geeze that looks like you broke off a huge part of his cheek if was his cheek. I remember having a piece of gum fall off (where a wisdom tooth grew in and will be staying) but I have no idea what it looked like. Most skin coming off my gums are white, thin, and stretchy, it could be a piece of gum that was just extremely bloody.

doogie’s story is better.

That is too solid but goopy looking and the color is strange, to be part of his mouth.

Maybe he was eating a fruit roll up or something.

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
That is too solid but goopy looking and the color is strange, to be part of his mouth.

Maybe he was eating a fruit roll up or something.

[/quote]

I agree.

It looks like coagulated blood to me, though.

[quote]theuofh wrote:
Piece of something he spit out. [/quote]

That would actually make a pretty good poster.

Is this real?

The way OP described it, like this part -

" I ran up to him and clocked him pretty hard in the jaw. I was freaking out. He fell down and I hit him a couple more times."

I chuckled.

I used to live in a block of flats which was pretty secure, and my flatmate and I were friends with all the guys who lived below us so we rarely ever locked the door, we all just came and went as we pleased.

One night the guy downstairs was having a party, I didn’t go because I was sick as a dog but my flatmate was there. In the small hours of the morning I heard someone come in and just assumed it was my flatmate. A few hours later though I heard my flatmate come in and heard him say “Who the fuck is that?” so I got up to see what was happening.

Some random dude was asleep on our sofa. Neither of us had ever seen him before but we assumed he must’ve come upstairs from the party, totally off his tits. The conversation between my flatmate and I went something like this:

Me - Dude, who is that?
Flatmate - No idea
Me - oh wait a minute, what is that smell

there was the unmistakable smell of shitted pants in the room. Yup, this guy had walked into my flat, fallen asleep on the sofa, and shit himself.

We woke him up and were like “Mate, get the fuck out of here.” He had no idea what was going on so we just ushered him into the stairwell and locked the door behind him, making him someone else’s problem. The last thing we said to him was “Oh and by the way, you’ve shit yourself.”

I always laugh when I think about him waking up the next day with no idea how he got home, covered in shit.