Usually I’m okay but sometimes I am overcome with social anxiety and I have ridiculous negative thoughts I can’t help. Normally the gym is where I get a lot of peace of mind but sometimes I feel like everyone is staring at me. I see myself at the gym and I feel like my body is out of proportion and looks funny. I am only 150 lbs but I deadlift 415 which is something I am pretty proud of but then I feel like people are gawking at me like a freak. Usually I just brush it off but sometimes I can’t overcome my own thoughts. I start thinking, what if I am not 100% and don’t hit this 1rm today? People are going to look at me, this small guy, and think I’m a jackass for trying.
Or sometimes I see people who I work out regularly and I worry that they might notice I am lifting the same weight I lifted previously. Like they are laughing on the inside that my lift did not go up 5 lbs. Then I’ll cut my work out short and go home and be pissed off at myself for being a bitch. Then I’ll go back at 3am when the gym is empty. wtffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu