T Nation

Soccer and a Request


In light of the World Cup, I'd love to hear what the coaches have to say about training for the sport. Any good soccer training coaches I can read up on?

I'd like to see an 'Article Request' (with drop down list or something, for easier analysis) section of the site. It'd be really interesting to see what the "pulse" of the T-Nation community is like at various times of the year.



I hear they all have some beers before they workout. . .


I got this in an email today from Rugby Coach:

From Andy Griffiths, Publisher, Rugby Coach

We recently launched a new training resource for soccer coaches and asked some of our rugby members the question:

?Do You Coach Soccer??

We got some interesting responses!

Though we don?t necessarily agree with the all the comments, and many are ?tongue in cheek?, some of them
generated some laughter here in the office.
So I thought I?d share them with you.

By the way, if you are offended by ?rude? words, please

do not read any further.

Here are some of the answers to our question, with the author?s names removed to avoid reprisals from the
soccer community.

?No, it?s a rubbish game played by girls?

?Afraid not ? once an egg chaser, always an egg chaser.?

?That?s the game with the round ball isn?t it??

?We call soccer ?Wendy Ball? at the club. Great game actually, followed and played all my life?

?Coach soccer? No thanks - I think red hot needles into my eyes would be preferable to dealing with the
nasty nylon kit, cheating and temper tantrums?

?If there is one thing I can?t stand in this world it is soccer. I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in
wasting my time watching a pack of fairies kicking a ball around and watching 0-0 results after 90 minutes. I don?t want their cheque books, their lifestyles or even the smelly old trouts they parade around as Footballers Wives. I am not of the opinionthat a man should have long hair, and a pony tail is worse, let alone earrings and waxed legs.

Maybe I do have a problem with trying to find my more sensitive side but I was bought up on a dairy farm in New Zealand in the 70s & 80s and we shagged Sheilas and sheep, drank piss and worked hard and played harder - so I guess you know where you can stick any mention of that faggot sport they call soccer. Please take this as a no and have a most wonderful day.?

?No, never played or coached soccer (old fashioned prop forward me, broad back, huge bum and no legs, but mum loved me).?

?Thanks Andy, but ?S***? is a banned word in my house?

?Thanks for the thought, but I have enough trouble with my little rugby darlings without dealing with football hooligans.?

?No thank you Andy. I am a one-dimensional fanatic. Rugby and rugby.?

?NO!!! ? Can?t stand the game!!!!?

?Could not possibly admit to that?

?No, I coach Gaelic Football. Pity you don?t do Smart Sessions for Gaelic.?

?I coach soccer, rugby, lacrosse, ice hockey, and field hockey. Hmm, two kids, nothing else left to coach.?

?Soccer.................what?s that??

?Sod off?


Don't call it Soccer ffs, its football.


English FA premiership prep, punch your wife, shag some strippers, drink beer and have a fight.


Let's talk about rugby. You got a bunch of guys who huddle around each other playing grab-ass and crotch-grab then they decide to flip around a FOOTBALL, UNDERHANDED. Then they slam into each other without pads. Sounds more like a homo-erotic death wish than a sport.

All jokes aside, rugby no doubt is a more brutal, physical sport.
Soccer (Or football. Sorry Stigg, I'm American) is more of a skill sport.

That being said, I've hated almost every non-world cup soccer game I've ever watched.


Maybe they do! If anything, it'd help them squat more during the game.


Plus - get divorced and have to give over 50% of your earnings to your wife (who helped wean you off the bottle)until you retire from the game so out of spite go take a pay-cut and play for a crappy team oop north.




Athlete's Performance works with the US National teams and the LA Galaxy.

And their work with the German national team has raised some eyebrows and gotten J?rgen Klinsmann in some hot water back home.


thank jim