T Nation

So, You Walk Into Work...


#1

After being really sick for a week with the weird flu that racked the world. You had been so miserable and sick you hadn't really turned on the TV and emails with work were sporadic -- seemed like everyone had been sick. You're fine, but kind of weak and crappy feeling.

Traffic is pretty light. There was a house fire and you saw cops driving like idiots the other way.

You get to the offfice; the door is open and lights are on, but the receptionist is not there.

You get to your office or cubical or whatever you work in when you hear screaming across the floor.

You look out, and there are two strangers, very pale, flesh falling from their face, eating a co-worker. Blood everywhere. One more is lurching down the hallway, walking away from you.

You are not noticed, and duck back into your office. What do you do now?


#2

Wake up?


#3

Find a way to affix blades to the top of your wrists. Go outside, turn your car on and start blaring badass music. Prepare yourself for the hours long zombie melee about to ensue. Proceed to defeat a horde of zombs in single hand-to-hand combat. Once the battle is won, stand atop the pile of corpses you have created and shout “Ihr seid verfluchte hunde!” at the top of your lungs whilst you hurl one of their severed heads onto the blood-slicked streets below.


#4

Look for some fresh flesh. There has to be some running around somewhere.


#5

[quote]Testy1 wrote:
Wake up?[/quote]

You slap yourself a couple times. Seems you’re awake.


#6

[quote]csulli wrote:
Find a way to affix blades to the top of your wrists. Go outside, turn your car on and start blaring badass music. Prepare yourself for the hours long zombie melee about to ensue. Proceed to defeat a horde of zombs in single hand-to-hand combat. Once the battle is won, stand atop the pile of corpses you have created and shout “Ihr seid verfluchte hunde!” at the top of your lungs whilst you hurl one of their severed heads onto the blood-slicked streets below.[/quote]

You have blades in your office?


#7

No doubt get out of there. ( chance of survival goes way up in rural areas ) Get back to my house where I’ve prepared for step one of the zombie apacalypse.


#8

Wait, am I me or a 7 foot Indian with unlimited ammo?


#9

Zombies, eh? Ok, I’ll bite.

Took a look around my office and there ain’t much in here as far as weaponry goes. There’s a standing wooden coat rack about 5 feet tall, 2x2 inch, thick with a base a little wider than the average man’s chest. It’s heavy, and solid. Would definitely work as a defensive distancing sheild, but not a weapon.

I got a roll of masking tape. I can wrap thick bands of paper around my wrists and hands, like big guantlets.

You’re scenario implies that I drove in and that I’m a just getting over a pretty nasty flu. Makes sense because normally I ride a train to work but whenever I’m sick, or recovering I prefer to drive. That’s a life saver right there.

Anyway, I head for the stairwell (4 floors to the ground) and sprint to my car home. I’m a fast little fucker. Nobody is catching me between the 200 yards I got to run from the door to my car in the parking lot.

Yay! I win.


#10

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
Find a way to affix blades to the top of your wrists. Go outside, turn your car on and start blaring badass music. Prepare yourself for the hours long zombie melee about to ensue. Proceed to defeat a horde of zombs in single hand-to-hand combat. Once the battle is won, stand atop the pile of corpses you have created and shout “Ihr seid verfluchte hunde!” at the top of your lungs whilst you hurl one of their severed heads onto the blood-slicked streets below.[/quote]

You have blades in your office?[/quote]
Hmm good point. I need to find a way to make/acquire bladed cestus or katar before I begin the epic zombie melee.


#11

#12

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
Find a way to affix blades to the top of your wrists. Go outside, turn your car on and start blaring badass music. Prepare yourself for the hours long zombie melee about to ensue. Proceed to defeat a horde of zombs in single hand-to-hand combat. Once the battle is won, stand atop the pile of corpses you have created and shout “Ihr seid verfluchte hunde!” at the top of your lungs whilst you hurl one of their severed heads onto the blood-slicked streets below.[/quote]

You have blades in your office?[/quote]

I do, several razor knives + scissors. Plus a miniature aluminum bat and a four cell mag light to use ala Malice Green. For that matter I could grab something off the steel rack outside my office.


#13

Are these walking dead or WWZ zombies?


#14

[quote]Testy1 wrote:
Are these walking dead or WWZ zombies?[/quote]

Crucial point actually.


#15

[quote]csulli wrote:
Find a way to affix blades to the top of your wrists. Go outside, turn your car on and start blaring badass music. Prepare yourself for the hours long zombie melee about to ensue. Proceed to defeat a horde of zombs in single hand-to-hand combat. Once the battle is won, stand atop the pile of corpses you have created and shout “Ihr seid verfluchte hunde!” at the top of your lungs whilst you hurl one of their severed heads onto the blood-slicked streets below.[/quote]

!!!


#16

[quote]Testy1 wrote:
Are these walking dead or WWZ zombies?[/quote]

Super-Human Zombies are a joke. How does a Zombie acquire super-human skills and strength? Fuck that. Zombies are Walking Dead Zombies, period, end of discussion.

The only exception is 28 Days/Weeks Later “infected”. One, they’re not zombies. Two, at the end of 28 Days Later they showed several that were dying by starvation or dehydration…basically, their bodies were shutting down.

Yes, I’m a zombie nerd.


#17

[quote]anothrjrzmike wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:
Are these walking dead or WWZ zombies?[/quote]

Super-Human Zombies are a joke. How does a Zombie acquire super-human skills and strength? Fuck that. Zombies are Walking Dead Zombies, period, end of discussion.

The only exception is 28 Days/Weeks Later “infected”. One, they’re not zombies. Two, at the end of 28 Days Later they showed several that were dying by starvation or dehydration…basically, their bodies were shutting down.

Yes, I’m a zombie nerd. [/quote]

This…the only strength they should have is numbers/horde. BTW it’s one of my all time dreams to play a zombie in Walking Dead.


#18

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
After being really sick for a week with the weird flu that racked the world. You had been so miserable and sick you hadn’t really turned on the TV and emails with work were sporadic – seemed like everyone had been sick. You’re fine, but kind of weak and crappy feeling.

Traffic is pretty light. There was a house fire and you saw cops driving like idiots the other way.

You get to the offfice; the door is open and lights are on, but the receptionist is not there.

You get to your office or cubical or whatever you work in when you hear screaming across the floor.

You look out, and there are two strangers, very pale, flesh falling from their face, eating a co-worker. Blood everywhere. One more is lurching down the hallway, walking away from you.

You are not noticed, and duck back into your office. What do you do now?[/quote]

At some points, I have WISHED that this would happen, my life is a lot stable, I don’t like, I like adventure. What I would do is find whatever I could use to help me survive in the office and get back to my car (scissors, some food, whatever). Then, see if I can find someone I know and trust. Call them on the phone or I can, pass by their house. If I can find someone, I will take them with me. If not, I am on my own. I go to the local gun shop, and get a gun and ammo.

If I have too, I will buy them, if I don;t see anyone inside, break in and take as much as I can, literally stuff my car with guns and ammo. Also, knives, swords, bows and arrows. Also binoculars. Guns are cool, but not really useful in my opinion if something like this happens. Too much noise. Then, do a raid in the city and get food (milk that last a long time, canned stuff etc) so I have something to eat. Then, off the woods or the top of building with no other buildings close to it (do someone can’t jump to my roof from the roof next to me.

Also, since I going to be on a building, water is not an issue, since roofs have drinkable water (at least where I live). And it’s on bitch, I am going to stay there and watch and still try to communicate with someone I trust. I would not take ANYONE I don’t know well with me. Not even a priest.


#19

[quote]anothrjrzmike wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:
Are these walking dead or WWZ zombies?[/quote]

Super-Human Zombies are a joke. How does a Zombie acquire super-human skills and strength? Fuck that. Zombies are Walking Dead Zombies, period, end of discussion.

The only exception is 28 Days/Weeks Later “infected”. One, they’re not zombies. Two, at the end of 28 Days Later they showed several that were dying by starvation or dehydration…basically, their bodies were shutting down.

Yes, I’m a zombie nerd. [/quote]

Sorry, I didn’t know we were only sticking with real Zombies.


#20

OP said “One more is lurching down the hallway” so I’m going to go with the Walking Dead type.