If you ever wondered what would happen if a brick of cheese exploded in your bedroom, read on. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not
So I'm sleeping last night when I hear this loud bang and a splattering sound. My eyes quickly adjusted to the dark and I could see there was no one in my room, so so I stumbled into my bathroom to take a leak. As I left my room I noticed that it absolutely reeked like rotting cheese by my bedroom door. When I came back into my room I noticed a large pile of something white in the middle of my floor. I turned on the light and was a bit puzzled by what appeared to be two piles of cottage cheese in the middle of my room. And the smell....good Lord the smell...my room reeked. I notice a trail leading from the piles over to the top of my dresser of a yellowish whitish liquid. The trail leads to this small pile of plastic shopping bags. It's slowly dawning on me what happened at this point.
See about a month ago I left a metal water container ( sort of like what mountain bikers use) filled with milk at my internship on my desk for a week. It was sealed tight so it didn't stink or anything. Someone at the internship tried opening it but as soon as the cap loosened even the slightest fetid milk started spewing out. Well what little milk remained because when you shook the container it sounded solid. So I wrapped the container in plastic...and then left it in my car for another couple weeks. I didn't want to throw it out because it's a handy container. So I bring it in about a week ago and throw it on my desk in the bags...and then promptly forget about it.
I prefer my room to be cooler, so I always have a window cracked, but last night for some reason I was cold and wanted it warmer so I sealed my windows, turned my radiator up and went to sleep. The temperature in my room got up to about 78 degrees. The temperature differential must have altered the pressure inside the container because the rubber lid had apparently shot off it and sent a torrent of putrid cheese-curd spewing into my room, with that initial ballistic shot landing in a pile on my bedroom floor. Suppressing my gag reflex I picked the bags up with the container right side up and almost threw up as a torrent of yellow puke-scented liquid cascaded down my hand and arm. I can't figure out why it's still leaking so I inspected the container. It had fucking cracked down the side from the pressure. Long story short it took me about 45 minutes in the middle of the night to mop, sponge, towel, and otherwise clean up this Hindenburg of cheese off my floor, dresser, and even bed. I'm currently wearing a pair of jeans that are two sizes too small because my other pairs were on top of my dresser and got soaked.
An interesting side note; this morning my room still reeked and I couldn't figure out why. Looking around I noticed the rubber cap from the container by my bed. Right below an impact crater in my bedroom wall. It was about 3" from where my head is when I slept.
So how the fuck do I get rid of this rancid cheese smell?? It's still faintly in the air and I have no clue what else I can clean to get rid of it.