T Nation

Slacking Off Responsibility?

I’m a 20 year old sophomore in college. I’m the type of person that has always just naturally assumed leadership positions. Over the past year alone I was in student government, on various committees around the university, vice president of my fraternity, etc. However, one by one, I seem to be shirking these all off. First it was because of scheduling conflicts, next not agreeing with administration, then not being interested in running for re-election, etc. I even dumped my girlfriend about a month ago. For the first time in years, I have almost no responsibility to anyone but myself, and I’m probably happier now than I’ve ever been. Does this just have to do with my age, or could this be a habit that I’m forming that might follow me as I get older? Just looking for some input.

You remind me of me. I was a leader and all that other shit. Then, one day, I asked myself what the fuck I was doing. I knew I was miserable. I made a resolution to figure some shit out and, to do that, I had to concentrate on me instead of babysitting and conforming to the ignorant masses. I said fuck you to the disposable people in my life. I didn’t bother wasting an expletive on the ones I really loathed. I don’t want any more drama. Or rules. If that means not being responsible, whatever. I’ll take my sanity.

I think it is pretty common among the students I work with. I know that I did the same thing when I was in school. If you’re one of those top leaders, you come in with all this excitement and desire to be in everything. Then eventually you start realizing that it doesn’t serve you all that much good anymore and you lose interest.

If you’re the VP of the fraternity now, I promise you that you’ll either be the president next year or the t-shirt chairman or another pointless chairman. As a fraternity consultant, I see it all of the time. There’s this tendency in groups to start looking at the old members as the “old guys” and they’ll want to toss you out. I remeber how quickly I went from too young to lead to too old for the new direction. Go figure…

There was another post kinda like this about a guy in college who was kinda confused. I’m the SAME way you are, and I figured myself out. It’s easy to fall into things that you have been a part of your entire life, then just quit them because you aren’t being pressured into doing them anymore. I ditched the shit I didn’t care about, picked up some other stuff that sounded really fun, and enjoyed myself.

Hey man, I’m a college senior, so I’m in the same exact boat as you. I’ve been a part of so many organizations in my 4 years here, it’s ridiculous. I would get into one, like it for about half the time I was supposed to be there, then just decide not to rejoin or just quit. College is about finding YOU, that’s it.

One good thing about all those clubs and other crap - I just won an award from the Parents Council for Service and Leadership in Campus Life. The school is pretty big (16000 students), so it was quite an honor.

Do as much or as little as you want, but dammit, have fun doin it.

Do it now rather than later in life. I didn’t do that in college cuz I was too busy “meeting/exceeding expectations”. Although I did very well in college, etc. and got a job and all, I feel vaguely dissatsifed w/ my life. It’s much harder to do it when you’re out of college.