Mr. Berardi, do you want to know what I spent last night (Friday night) doing? I spent it alone, reading ?What I Wish I Knew Then - Confessions of a Former Skinny Guy Part I & II? on your site and getting pumped up!!! I went out today and bought a huge box of frozen chicken breasts.
Before we continue, I am about 6ft tall, 144lbs, 9.8% BF (measured this morning) at 27 years of age. If you want some perspective on those stats, I have been working out for about the last nine years.
If I were a super hero my name would be CAPTAIN SLOW TWITCH.
You will not find a more dedicated (and at the same time perhaps misguided) candidate. You do not have to worry for a second that you will spend all this time making up this program and I won?t follow it. I will follow it. TAKE ME THROUGH HELL AND BACK DEAR THINK TANK GENIUSES.
Just four weeks ago I got a job, and you want to know what the ONLY thing is that I spend money on? Chicken breasts, cottage cheese, protein powder, you get the idea. I spend and hour and a half every night making my food for the next day to take to work (I just read your latest article and will now prepare my food on Sundays). I eat every 2-3 hours. I eat 7 meals everyday, religiously. I carry a bottle of fish oil capsules with me to work. I bought a tub of dextrose and mix that with my pwo shake. I don?t ever mix fat and carbs in my meals as per your suggestions (but I will do whatever you want now… you want me to mix carbs, fats and cat food? DONE.)
I keep a detailed food log. The last couple weeks I have been taking in 2,709 calories and 164g of complete protein a day. I have not missed a single meal or workout. You want to know what my last four weeks of determination got me? I lost one pound. It was fat though, so at least that?s good, I guess, ahh who am I kidding! I wanted to gain darn it!!
Do you think that discourages me? HELL NO!! I am upping my calories for next week, I am going to calculate it all out and plan my meals accordingly.
I would post a pic of myself but I dare not horrify my fellow t-mag readers. I will gladly forward it to the Think Tank Experts if you supply me with an email address.
I have covered my windows with cardboard and duct tape to block out all light so I can get a good nights sleep for recovery. I even went out today and bought tin foil to reinforce this so that not a single photon of light will fall upon my slumbering flesh.
I have been listening to stress reduction tapes in my car on the way to work so I can lower cortisol simply for the purpose of gaining muscle and losing fat.
I have never met a girl with thinner wrists than myself and yet I am about 6 ft tall. You want narrow shoulders? I am about as wide facing forward as I am facing sideways.
I can gain rapid progress in anything endurance related but strength and size? Forget about it!!
I have spent the last four weeks doing the Neanderthal Series workouts by Eric Cressey and Mike Robertson to fix my posture so I can move on to some crazy workouts? guess what, I finished the last workout TODAY and I AM READY FOR A NEW PROGRAM TO MAKE ME DISTURBINGLY HUGE. Or just less pathetic looking. Whichever comes first.
Just last night after reading the Confessions of a Former Skinny Guy series, I was back on T-Nation trying to find a program, I was looking at ABBH, and thinking of going that route perhaps.
Listen gentleman, let?s be serious here. How amazing would be this undertaking of yours if you had insane before and after pictures of the guinea pig? Well I guarantee you will not find a better before pic than mine. No better starting point for one of those shocking transformations that will cause everyone to yell ?Photoshop!?
I am well known far and wide for my pain threshold. .
I am well known far and wide for my insane will power and dedication.
I am well known far and wide for my lack of results.
You want someone who is hungry for this??? As SOON as I read your post Mr. Berardi, I ran to my weights and did the lifts you mentioned so I could get you my stats. In fact, I am writing this in between rest periods.
You want to know what has been pretty much the only thing on my mind the last few weeks? GETTING BIG. I just think about my next meal, or next workout, or about how crazy jacked I want to look!!!
Ok, I just got in from the backyard doing my vertical jump test. The stats are ready now:
Bench Press 7 reps at my 85%RM
Overhead Press 12 reps at my 85%RM
Squat 14 reps at my 85%RM
Deadlift 8 reps at my 85%RM
Pull Up 4 reps with bodyweight (don’t know how to measure this w/ 85%RM)
Vertical Jump 18.5? (wow, that?s depressing)
I hope that’s how you wanted those stats measured. The way I understood it was that you wanted to know the number of reps I could do at my 85%RM. If I misunderstood please don?t disqualify me! Let me know I will do it again however way you want!!
I am so pumped about this whole idea!!!
LET?S DO THIS!!!
I GUARANTEE this is going to turn out better than you even imagined when you thought this up.
I am your soldier. Send me to battle, gentlemen.