Skinny Fat Jealous Boyfriend Syndrome

clearly not relevant

[quote]WormwoodTheory wrote:
clearly not relevant[/quote]

Yeah, I’ve had that happen a good bit. Here’s how I responded-

  1. Yanked a guys hand and head butted him across the orbital as he passed. Broke his eye socket and cheek bone while splattering girlfriend with the explosion of blood. Didn’t get laid.

  2. Got really good at jack hammering guys to the floor by hitting them repeatedly in the area between the left ear and temple. It’s like an off switch for their equilibrium and leaves them lying there conscious but unable to stand. Didn’t get laid.

So, don’t do either of those. They don’t work.

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Yeah, I’ve had that happen a good bit. Here’s how I responded-

  1. Yanked a guys hand and head butted him across the orbital as he passed. Broke his eye socket and cheek bone while splattering girlfriend with the explosion of blood. Didn’t get laid.

  2. Got really good at jack hammering guys to the floor by hitting them repeatedly in the area between the left ear and temple. It’s like an off switch for their equilibrium and leaves them lying there conscious but unable to stand. Didn’t get laid.

So, don’t do either of those. They don’t work.

[/quote]

I don’t know why, but I’m strangely aroused after reading this. This is unsettling to me to say the least.

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Yeah, I’ve had that happen a good bit. Here’s how I responded-

  1. Yanked a guys hand and head butted him across the orbital as he passed. Broke his eye socket and cheek bone while splattering girlfriend with the explosion of blood. Didn’t get laid.

  2. Got really good at jack hammering guys to the floor by hitting them repeatedly in the area between the left ear and temple. It’s like an off switch for their equilibrium and leaves them lying there conscious but unable to stand. Didn’t get laid.

So, don’t do either of those. They don’t work.

[/quote]

its not about who she talks to, its about who she leaves with

Hey mallen … what’s up brother? How’s it going? Good? Good.

Hey, man, I heard some skinny fat jealous boyfriend went syndrome all over you ass recently and I just wanted to ask you if you have any of those pics you promised us about those 4 girls that stayed with you and your “friends” for spring break? Because you were so adamant about providing said pics; you even went so far as to spin a few vague yarns about said experience, almost like a play by play. But then you went and created a fake account claiming to be “your buddy Cleet”. Remember? Man those were the days. But, alas, you left us hanging like a HolyMac lunk alarm thread.

Did you think we’d forget that you’re full of shit? Here’s an idea redeem yourself somewhat: Next time a dime piece approaches you in a bar, whip out your phone and record the whole encounter, right down to the skinny fat boyfriend passive/aggressive encounter. Mmmmkay? Until then shut the fuck up about some nickel piece approaching you in a drunken haze and your dillusional assessment that her boyfriend feels threatened by your 160lb ass.

Either that or stop making up stories to sound cool…Obvious pathetic is obvious

[quote]polo77j wrote:

Until then shut the fuck up about some nickel piece approaching you in a drunken haze and your delusional assessment that her boyfriend feels threatened by your 160lb ass.

[/quote]

someone had to do it

[quote]polo77j wrote:
Hey mallen … what’s up brother? How’s it going? Good? Good.

Hey, man, I heard some skinny fat jealous boyfriend went syndrome all over you ass recently and I just wanted to ask you if you have any of those pics you promised us about those 4 girls that stayed with you and your “friends” for spring break? Because you were so adamant about providing said pics; you even went so far as to spin a few vague yarns about said experience, almost like a play by play. But then you went and created a fake account claiming to be “your buddy Cleet”. Remember? Man those were the days. But, alas, you left us hanging like a HolyMac lunk alarm thread.

Did you think we’d forget that you’re full of shit? Here’s an idea redeem yourself somewhat: Next time a dime piece approaches you in a bar, whip out your phone and record the whole encounter, right down to the skinny fat boyfriend passive/aggressive encounter. Mmmmkay? Until then shut the fuck up about some nickel piece approaching you in a drunken haze and your dillusional assessment that her boyfriend feels threatened by your 160lb ass.

Either that or stop making up stories to sound cool…Obvious pathetic is obvious[/quote]

You know when you really need a piss but can’t go, then after 20 minutes of holding it in you finally let it all out and it feels soo good… thats what this post was like.

I can only remember a girl I was out with going over and talking to a guy I didn’t already know a couple of times. The best way to keep other dudes from trying to mack on your girl all night is to bring them into the bro circle quickly. When you see the conversation, finish up whatever you are doing and go over and ask your girl if she needs another drink. Politely introduce yourself to the guy, no “bonecrusher” handshakes, just a polite Hi, no need to even announce the relationship status, he already knows, or maybe he thinks your her brother.

Then regardless if she wants a drink or not tell the kid he looks familiar. Lead in with “so what do you do for a living? Maybe I have seen you through work”. This will get the guy on low guard thinking he may know you in real life outside the bar. Now any person who is relatively good at casual conversation can eat this guy up and spit him out, start talkihng about man stuff like sports and stuff and let him talk more than you (this is an obvious way to make people like you if you didn’t already know) Now all of a sudden you gotta go talk to another of your bros, you give the guy a knuck bump and tell him catch ya later bro. Your girl is now instantly revolted by him and he will go for another fish, after all he can’t hit on one of his bros girls. Hell he’ll probably buy you a shot or a beer towards the end of the night when he’s wasted.

No fights, so no jail or injury, possible free beer, your girl comes home with you. AND you possibly get a new friend out of the deal if the dood actually happens to be someone worth a shit.

V

[quote]polo77j wrote:
Hey mallen … what’s up brother? How’s it going? Good? Good.

Hey, man, I heard some skinny fat jealous boyfriend went syndrome all over you ass recently and I just wanted to ask you if you have any of those pics you promised us about those 4 girls that stayed with you and your “friends” for spring break? Because you were so adamant about providing said pics; you even went so far as to spin a few vague yarns about said experience, almost like a play by play. But then you went and created a fake account claiming to be “your buddy Cleet”. Remember? Man those were the days. But, alas, you left us hanging like a HolyMac lunk alarm thread.

Did you think we’d forget that you’re full of shit? Here’s an idea redeem yourself somewhat: Next time a dime piece approaches you in a bar, whip out your phone and record the whole encounter, right down to the skinny fat boyfriend passive/aggressive encounter. Mmmmkay? Until then shut the fuck up about some nickel piece approaching you in a drunken haze and your dillusional assessment that her boyfriend feels threatened by your 160lb ass.

Either that or stop making up stories to sound cool…Obvious pathetic is obvious[/quote]

Wow. You won.

Also, just be better looking. If you’re better looking the girl won’t talk to other guys.

That’s my advice.

[quote]polo77j wrote:
Hey mallen … what’s up brother? How’s it going? Good? Good.

Hey, man, I heard some skinny fat jealous boyfriend went syndrome all over you ass recently and I just wanted to ask you if you have any of those pics you promised us about those 4 girls that stayed with you and your “friends” for spring break? Because you were so adamant about providing said pics; you even went so far as to spin a few vague yarns about said experience, almost like a play by play. But then you went and created a fake account claiming to be “your buddy Cleet”. Remember? Man those were the days. But, alas, you left us hanging like a HolyMac lunk alarm thread.

Did you think we’d forget that you’re full of shit? Here’s an idea redeem yourself somewhat: Next time a dime piece approaches you in a bar, whip out your phone and record the whole encounter, right down to the skinny fat boyfriend passive/aggressive encounter. Mmmmkay? Until then shut the fuck up about some nickel piece approaching you in a drunken haze and your dillusional assessment that her boyfriend feels threatened by your 160lb ass.

Either that or stop making up stories to sound cool…Obvious pathetic is obvious[/quote]

OUCH, I’m trying to read POLO’s post but all I keep seeing is…

[quote]mallen5 wrote:
For the third time in the past 2 weeks, I have been talking to a girl at a bar, and have had some skinny fat douchebag boyfriend aggressively initiate a handshake to introduce himself (to let me know i’m talking to his girlfriend). It’s funny because two out of the three times, the girl is the one that approached me.

Do any of you feel the need to do this? If I’m out with a girl and she is talking to a guy for whatever reason, I’m in no way compelled to interrupt their conversation to act like a douche. I’m probably closer to rooting for the guy to buy her a drink.

Last night, I pretended like the handshake hurt and responded with an “easy there big boy.” He didn’t think it was as funny as I did, and proceeded to get in a fight with his “girlfriend.”

I’ve always got these little guys trying to start shit for the dumbsest reasons…

Anybody have similar experiences?[/quote]

Dude come up w a story where you either bang the girlfriend, or you punch out the bf. Or both?

Right now this is a post about shaking a guy’s hand at a bar.

[quote]polo77j wrote:
Hey mallen … what’s up brother? How’s it going? Good? Good.

Hey, man, I heard some skinny fat jealous boyfriend went syndrome all over you ass recently and I just wanted to ask you if you have any of those pics you promised us about those 4 girls that stayed with you and your “friends” for spring break? Because you were so adamant about providing said pics; you even went so far as to spin a few vague yarns about said experience, almost like a play by play. But then you went and created a fake account claiming to be “your buddy Cleet”. Remember? Man those were the days. But, alas, you left us hanging like a HolyMac lunk alarm thread.

Did you think we’d forget that you’re full of shit? Here’s an idea redeem yourself somewhat: Next time a dime piece approaches you in a bar, whip out your phone and record the whole encounter, right down to the skinny fat boyfriend passive/aggressive encounter. Mmmmkay? Until then shut the fuck up about some nickel piece approaching you in a drunken haze and your dillusional assessment that her boyfriend feels threatened by your 160lb ass.

Either that or stop making up stories to sound cool…Obvious pathetic is obvious[/quote]

LMFAO!!! Ur my hero Polo!

Don’t get too excited, I still hate you and everything you represent!

I wouldn’t want it any other way Andrew

Vegita’s advice is the best, though I’ll offer my worthless 2 cents…

When he extends his hand to you, grab it firmly and tilt it to the side a bit, inspecting it as a bear might inspect a freshly-caught salmon from the river. Nod in approval. Make eye contact, but focus on an arbitrary point about 50 feet behind him and about a foot to his left. This will give you what is known as a vacant stare. Hold this stare for about ten seconds.

Then, quickly tighten your grip on his hand and recite some random-ass fact in a dimwitted voice about 30 decibels higher than “average room conversation”. Make sure you keep staring “beyond” him. Forego any sort of cadence or logical punctuation.

For example: “PLATYPUSES GENERALLY SUFFER FROM FEW DISEASES IN THE WILD HOWEVER THERE IS WIDESPREAD PUBLIC CONCERN IN TASMANIA ABOUT THE POTENTIAL IMPACTS OF A DISEASE CAUSED BY THE FUNGUS MUCOR AMPHIBIORUM THE DISEASE AFFECTS ONLY TASMANIAN PLATYPUSES AND HAS NOT BEEN OBSERVED IN PLATYPUSES IN MAINLAND AUSTRALIA AFFECTED PLATYPUSES CAN DEVELOP UGLY SKIN LESIONS OR ULCERS ON VARIOUS PARTS OF THEIR BODY INCLUDING BACK TAILS AND LEGS”. Keep gripping…keep staring.

He’ll clearly assume you have some sort of neurological impairment and will think his “girlfriend” is just being nice to you, giving you carte blanche to work your magic on her. As you two leave together you might say to him “greatly enjoyed our discussion, good chap” in articulate, Victorian-style English.

[quote]Nikki9591 wrote:
OP, that post is pretty spot on.
The ability to not be insecure and be confident that your girl can talk to a man without cheating is an admirable and attractive trait. Once a guy starts to act like he owns me, I leave.
I’m not in a relationship to feed anyone’s insecurities.[/quote]

The ability to find a girl who you can trust and not worry about cheating is quite the endeavor. I’m not insecure but if I went to a bar and my girl left me to talk to some stranger at the bar I would drop her ass. Once a girl starts acting like she’s single I leave, I’m not in a relationship to feed anyone’s hoe tendancies.

Not saying you’re a hoe, so don’t take it personal. But any girl who leaves their boyfriend to talk to random guys at a bar has questionable ethics and probably not great long term girlfriend material.

[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
Vegita’s advice is the best, though I’ll offer my worthless 2 cents…

When he extends his hand to you, grab it firmly and tilt it to the side a bit, inspecting it as a bear might inspect a freshly-caught salmon from the river. Nod in approval. Make eye contact, but focus on an arbitrary point about 50 feet behind him and about a foot to his left. This will give you what is known as a vacant stare. Hold this stare for about ten seconds.

Then, quickly tighten your grip on his hand and recite some random-ass fact in a dimwitted voice about 30 decibels higher than “average room conversation”. Make sure you keep staring “beyond” him. Forego any sort of cadence or logical punctuation.

For example: “PLATYPUSES GENERALLY SUFFER FROM FEW DISEASES IN THE WILD HOWEVER THERE IS WIDESPREAD PUBLIC CONCERN IN TASMANIA ABOUT THE POTENTIAL IMPACTS OF A DISEASE CAUSED BY THE FUNGUS MUCOR AMPHIBIORUM THE DISEASE AFFECTS ONLY TASMANIAN PLATYPUSES AND HAS NOT BEEN OBSERVED IN PLATYPUSES IN MAINLAND AUSTRALIA AFFECTED PLATYPUSES CAN DEVELOP UGLY SKIN LESIONS OR ULCERS ON VARIOUS PARTS OF THEIR BODY INCLUDING BACK TAILS AND LEGS”. Keep gripping…keep staring.

He’ll clearly assume you have some sort of neurological impairment and will think his “girlfriend” is just being nice to you, giving you carte blanche to work your magic on her. As you two leave together you might say to him “greatly enjoyed our discussion, good chap” in articulate, Victorian-style English.

[/quote]

Yeah, this is great fucking advice. You could even one up this morsel of unquestionable wisdom by trying to bite your left ear while pretending to stab yourself in the chest with your right hand like a fucking reTARD. You’ll definitely have carte blanch to work your magic on his GF when he leaves to ask the bartender why they’re serving drinks to a seriously impaired cerebral palsy victim. As you leave with her, you might even say, in articulate Corky-style English “m-m-m-m-my Mommy s-s-s-s-sa-sa-sa…told me dat ahm speshuuuulllll.”

[quote]AndrewG909 wrote:

[quote]Nikki9591 wrote:
OP, that post is pretty spot on.
The ability to not be insecure and be confident that your girl can talk to a man without cheating is an admirable and attractive trait. Once a guy starts to act like he owns me, I leave.
I’m not in a relationship to feed anyone’s insecurities.[/quote]

The ability to find a girl who you can trust and not worry about cheating is quite the endeavor. I’m not insecure but if I went to a bar and my girl left me to talk to some stranger at the bar I would drop her ass. Once a girl starts acting like she’s single I leave, I’m not in a relationship to feed anyone’s hoe tendancies.

Not saying you’re a hoe, so don’t take it personal. But any girl who leaves their boyfriend to talk to random guys at a bar has questionable ethics and probably not great long term girlfriend material.[/quote]

Andrew, you’re talking to an 18 yr old who has the world figured out … just sayin’

[quote]polo77j wrote:

[quote]AndrewG909 wrote:

[quote]Nikki9591 wrote:
OP, that post is pretty spot on.
The ability to not be insecure and be confident that your girl can talk to a man without cheating is an admirable and attractive trait. Once a guy starts to act like he owns me, I leave.
I’m not in a relationship to feed anyone’s insecurities.[/quote]

The ability to find a girl who you can trust and not worry about cheating is quite the endeavor. I’m not insecure but if I went to a bar and my girl left me to talk to some stranger at the bar I would drop her ass. Once a girl starts acting like she’s single I leave, I’m not in a relationship to feed anyone’s hoe tendancies.

Not saying you’re a hoe, so don’t take it personal. But any girl who leaves their boyfriend to talk to random guys at a bar has questionable ethics and probably not great long term girlfriend material.[/quote]

Andrew, you’re talking to an 18 yr old who has the world figured out … just sayin’[/quote]

Polo, I love 18 year olds and this one seems to have questionable moral boundaries and has included semi-nude photos of herself in her hub to include her asscrack and thinks guys all want to just talk and is therefor more likely to trust guys and make not so smart decisions…

Stop being a cockblock… Just sayin.

[quote]AndrewG909 wrote:

[quote]Nikki9591 wrote:
OP, that post is pretty spot on.
The ability to not be insecure and be confident that your girl can talk to a man without cheating is an admirable and attractive trait. Once a guy starts to act like he owns me, I leave.
I’m not in a relationship to feed anyone’s insecurities.[/quote]

The ability to find a girl who you can trust and not worry about cheating is quite the endeavor. I’m not insecure but if I went to a bar and my girl left me to talk to some stranger at the bar I would drop her ass. Once a girl starts acting like she’s single I leave, I’m not in a relationship to feed anyone’s hoe tendancies.

Not saying you’re a hoe, so don’t take it personal. But any girl who leaves their boyfriend to talk to random guys at a bar has questionable ethics and probably not great long term girlfriend material.[/quote]

Ah I thought he approached the female. I imagined that the bf left to do something, a guy tried to hit on her when she was alone and the guy came back.
I didn’t know that she left the bf to talk to him. That’s different.
I won’t know why someone would want to continue to talk to a girl who just disregarded her present bf and can easily do the same thing to him.