T Nation

Silly Yoga Rant


#1

I do stretch and some of the stretches I do I learned from yoga books, but I just want to say something about yoga.

Someone who is strong can help him or herself and others, be it by something as simple as opening jars and moving fridges to something better like protecting friends or family.

Even someone who can run far may help if a car breaks down and they need to go get help.

The yoga person? They can only stretch. I can't really think of how they may possibly help anyone else.

This is not to be taken too seriously, just sort of a thought that came to me.


#2

Obviously never been with a girl who was really into yoga.

Then again, neither have I.


#3

But yogi's are in touch with their inner self and can control their aura. Just imagine if they could focus this power...into destructive energy used to hold the world hostage.


#4

Havent you ever played Street Fighter?

Yoga practitioners can teleport, fly, and extend their limbs to great lengths.


#5

Only if they're black and have ornate tribal tattoos and relics adorned on their body...


#6

My wife's into yoga. Stretching went beyond body when she got into meditation and a whole spiritual journey. This helped our relationship. Her yoga has helped me be "flexible" in my thinking.

Yoga was also one of the reasons she didn't experience discomfort during pregnancy, while other contemporary mums had various issues with back pain my wife did not.

All in all I can't hate yoga. Yes I think it's slow and I don't have the patience to it but I only have to look at my family and realise it's a part of my life regardless. I've even actually seriously thought about giving Bikram (hot) yoga a go as a form of recovery.

<3 :smiley:


#7

They are really good at butt-bouncing:


#8

OP,

I think you need to learn more about Yoga before minimizing its value to stretching muscles.

just sayin'


#9

Yoga can help that first baseman stretch out to catch the ball that just a little too far in front of him!


#10

Yoga has helped with my chronic shoulder pain and I'm more flexible which comes in handy with regards to certain sexual positions. I can control my breathing when situations cause me to be stressed or uncomfortable, it clears out the cobb webs!


#11

I gave Bikram Yoga a shot awhile back. To be honest, I'll try anything to see if it can be incorporated in my quest for a healthy life.

It was really tough to make it through the 90 minutes. The girl who suggested it to me (not a romantic interest) told me she brings guys to the class to see what they're made of - the ones who leave early are dubbed quitters and generally dropped from the dating game.

I can see its value in building flexibility, character and grit, along with making one's self calm and serene. These are not directly applicable to life but should make someone easier to live with.

Did I go back? No chance. It was too taxing for my recovery.

One thing I am thankful for is that Yoga has caused a proliferation of Lululemon pants and I am a legs/ass man. Thank you Yoga.


#12

Yoga practitioners that I know of I've observed have a markedly good cardiovascular response. I've known a few that practice yoga and run marathons regularly (not that this is the only criteria for cardiovascular fitness). Their muscles tend to look "soft" yet reasonably strong. No real comparison to any strength athlete but they are "nice to play with" (speaking from purely my spouse and I's perspective). LOL


#13

Ive just started yoga in the past 3 weeks. I do Bikram yoga once or wice a week, and a "bodybalance" class once a week.

I find its really good for recovery, and as I dont stretch enough its good for my flexibility. I do mean to put time aside to stretch, but stretching is boring, and I get distracted easily. One second im stretching, and the next thing you know Im chasing the cat around the house.

Saying that, yoga shouldnt replace workouts. I will be doing less yoga once Im fully recovered from a chronic adductor strain and I start training for the new season. (My training log "Bird Cage 2; Aviar dream" will commence within the next 2 weeks!)

And I love yoga pants.

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#14

^What is body balance?


#15

Franchised program classes combining yoga, pilates and tai chi. Globo gyms usually run a variation of this. It's kind of like a beginner class for those disciplines.


#16

Yoga helps instill in teenage boys the dream that some day, they might just be able to reach...


#17

I understand the benefits of yoga and I even have two books on it, but I just sort of mean if you lined up some people and thought how they could help others with their abilities. I'm being a little silly as we don't really need to see our physical training as something that's there altruistically.

Hey powerlifter! My car's stuck on my grandma! HELP!
Hey karate guy! That bad guy's taking my grandma's purse! HELP!
Hey marathoner! My car's out of gas! Run and get help 26.2 miles away!
Hey yoga student! Help me....uh.........


#18

Hey yoga student help me...

...bend over and tie my shoe laces.
...reach under this car and save my grandma.
...get into some really good sex positions.

Also yoga will help someone be flexible enough to keep lifting, keep running, keep praticing karate.

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#19

You're not retarded are you? If so I can type slowly.

Why do you assume the powerlifter, karate guy, and yoga student aren't the same person? Folks aren't so one dimensional that their lives can be summed up with a single word description of one hobby.

Yoga is great for:
1. Judoka, BJJers, and really any martial artist that wants to maintain flexibility and balance
2. Field sobriety tests. Honestly Yoga and Tai Chi make passing field sobriety tests a breeze no mater how drunk I get.
3. Dan John said yoga was awesome, and has mentioned it in at least three of his articles. Are you calling Dan John a liar? Are you?!?!
4. Women. Crossfit and Yoga make women hawt.
Das Proof:
http://freshpics.blogspot.com/2008/10/yoga-girls.html
5. An incredibly demanding workout. There's a reason why the Yoga DVD is the most hated DVD in the P90X workout series. The stretching and balancing, forward and backwards rolls, and some tough transitions from pose to pose will get one's heart racing while a pool of sweat begins to spread across the floor.
6. I had a horse named Yoga. He was fast. I mean really fucking fast. He was a retired race horse, so it was expected of him to be fast. He was pretty awesome. A retarded asshole at times, but mostly awesome when not being a retarded asshole.


#20

^^ I don't know if you're serious here or not.

This whole thing is not to be taken too seriously. Think of it as part of some shitty stand-up comedy routine.
Even the word "Silly" in the title refers to the rant, not yoga.