T Nation

Sick of Not Having a Social Life

this shit sucks, all i do is go to school, work and go to the gym. i have no social life. i thought when i turned 21 things would change and id more options to go to the bars and clubs but shit hasnt changed at all. i basically have only a couple friends outside the gym which is a catch 22 because i dont really have anyone to hang out with but the people i was hanging out with before were losers.

it wouldnt be so bad if i had a girlfriend or something to pass the time with when im not doing one of said things that i only do but i dont even have oppurtunities to meet women anymore. i work with a lot of girls but the ones who are decent looking arent even hot, they just look better than other girls who work there and theyre all like 27+ anyway and just falling apart.

even at school where theres tons of girls i havent clicked with any of the ones in my classes. and im not the type of dude to just randomly approach someone in the halls, like if i have an oppurtunity to talk at the bus stop or just anytime the situation occurs but i dont hardly get any of those situations.

should i just grow a pair of balls and just go up to random girls in the halls? but i never have anything to say in those situations. all i know is i gotta do something cause this shit aint cool.

theres also this girl i keep fighting myself to call. basically she was being a bitch, we’d hang out and she’d play hard to get. we’d make out and i sucked on a titty or two but she’d always call it off right when it was about to get down to fucking. she also had this complex where she thought i banged every single girl i saw and i was just going to “use” her…anyway one day i talked to her and she said she got drunk and banged some guy and that she thought he “used” her. i told her good, and laughed at her because thats exactly what she thought i was going to do and she deserved it for being a bitch. so yea i really dont want to go through all that b.s. again.

i just feel like i need to find some new people to hang out with but its just not happening. i was also thinking about moving to Las Vegas, they have the fastest growing economy in the country and it’s like the mecca of fresh starts plus theres a party everywhere you look and plenty of party people. i went there once and feel in love with it but it was before i was 21 and couldnt even enjoy things like stripclubs, gambling or bars/clubs.

idk maybe moving to Vegas is a little extreme, id prefer a place with a beach anyway…maybe Hollywood lol but the Boston climate sucks. this place would definately be a lot more tolerable with a girlfriend or at least someone to fuck though.

Las Vegas is the most difficult city to make friends in that I’ve ever lived in. Most people don’t last a year here. I hear it really sucks for dating too, because most of the attractive women in the clubs are either strippers or hookers who are looking for money.

[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
this shit sucks, all i do is go to school, work and go to the gym. i have no social life. i thought when i turned 21 things would change and id more options to go to the bars and clubs but shit hasnt changed at all. i basically have only a couple friends outside the gym which is a catch 22 because i dont really have anyone to hang out with but the people i was hanging out with before were losers.

it wouldnt be so bad if i had a girlfriend or something to pass the time with when im not doing one of said things that i only do but i dont even have oppurtunities to meet women anymore. i work with a lot of girls but the ones who are decent looking arent even hot, they just look better than other girls who work there and theyre all like 27+ anyway and just falling apart.

even at school where theres tons of girls i havent clicked with any of the ones in my classes. and im not the type of dude to just randomly approach someone in the halls, like if i have an oppurtunity to talk at the bus stop or just anytime the situation occurs but i dont hardly get any of those situations.

should i just grow a pair of balls and just go up to random girls in the halls? but i never have anything to say in those situations. all i know is i gotta do something cause this shit aint cool.

theres also this girl i keep fighting myself to call. basically she was being a bitch, we’d hang out and she’d play hard to get. we’d make out and i sucked on a titty or two but she’d always call it off right when it was about to get down to fucking. she also had this complex where she thought i banged every single girl i saw and i was just going to “use” her…anyway one day i talked to her and she said she got drunk and banged some guy and that she thought he “used” her. i told her good, and laughed at her because thats exactly what she thought i was going to do and she deserved it for being a bitch. so yea i really dont want to go through all that b.s. again.

i just feel like i need to find some new people to hang out with but its just not happening. i was also thinking about moving to Las Vegas, they have the fastest growing economy in the country and it’s like the mecca of fresh starts plus theres a party everywhere you look and plenty of party people. i went there once and feel in love with it but it was before i was 21 and couldnt even enjoy things like stripclubs, gambling or bars/clubs.

idk maybe moving to Vegas is a little extreme, id prefer a place with a beach anyway…maybe Hollywood lol but the Boston climate sucks. this place would definately be a lot more tolerable with a girlfriend or at least someone to fuck though.[/quote]

The Vegas economy is in a free fall. Just like the rest of the world.

I know this sounds trite (look it up) but are there any activities at school which will let you interact with women in a more natural setting? Gotta be something.

my school is a community college which sucks because theres no such thing as campus life.

most people show up for classes then leave. theres a couple people i see here and there outside of class and of course its at the gym, they arent girls anyway.

meh, ill pull something through.

@ the Vegas stuff, i dont think it could be that bad. like i said ive been there before and there was a ton of hot chicks just walking the streets its a tourist hotspot and everyone lets it loose in Vegas. a relationship would be cool, besides i think i could pull a stripper with no problems, but even tons of anonymous sex would be fine (hell just a little sex at this point would be fine). i just dont have those oppurtunities here because when am i going to go out? i work thurs-sat night. even if i didnt i probaly coulnt find anyone willing to barhop with me though.

A little off topic…I just got who is painted on that chicks stomach in your avatar. Its Grr from Invader Zim! Damn I thought my brain was gonna explode,lol.

Continue topic.

[quote]Pootie Tang wrote:
A little off topic…I just got who is painted on that chicks stomach in your avatar. Its Grr from Invader Zim! Damn I thought my brain was gonna explode,lol.

Continue topic.[/quote]

Live, you should hangout with Pootie Tang, he obviously has no life either…JK PT!

Hey man there are plenty of people in your situation. Between school, working out, and the Army I don’t have much time for anything else. Besides chicks I meet in my activities aren’t usually that attractive. As I’ve said before some of my neighbors are chicks but since I hooked up with one a while ago none of the other ones want to go out so well shit just sucks. And I am definitely not a dude who can just strike up a conversation with chicks no matter how much I try. It blows my mind though because I’ve seen some pretty attractive chicks with looser weird dudes dressed like emo kids or slobs or hollister advertisments.

[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
my school is a community college which sucks because theres no such thing as campus life.

most people show up for classes then leave. theres a couple people i see here and there outside of class and of course its at the gym, they arent girls anyway.

meh, ill pull something through.

@ the Vegas stuff, i dont think it could be that bad. like i said ive been there before and there was a ton of hot chicks just walking the streets its a tourist hotspot and everyone lets it loose in Vegas. a relationship would be cool, besides i think i could pull a stripper with no problems, but even tons of anonymous sex would be fine (hell just a little sex at this point would be fine). i just dont have those oppurtunities here because when am i going to go out? i work thurs-sat night. even if i didnt i probaly coulnt find anyone willing to barhop with me though. [/quote]

You should have called this thread “Sick of Not Getting Laid.”

Have you ever actually “pulled” a stripper? Not that hard. Buy her sh*t or give her drugs. Or wait until you are in your 40s and attract the ones with Daddy issues.

The only people who get “tons of anonymous sex” are gay guys in bath houses. What is so special about your working class ass that girls in Vegas would throw themselves at you as opposed to every other d.b. in the clubs?

You need more realistic expectations from life.

[quote]1porsche wrote:
Hey man there are plenty of people in your situation. Between school, working out, and the Army I don’t have much time for anything else. Besides chicks I meet in my activities aren’t usually that attractive. As I’ve said before some of my neighbors are chicks but since I hooked up with one a while ago none of the other ones want to go out so well shit just sucks. And I am definitely not a dude who can just strike up a conversation with chicks no matter how much I try. It blows my mind though because I’ve seen some pretty attractive chicks with looser weird dudes dressed like emo kids or slobs or hollister advertisments. [/quote]

lol. yea the irony is that theres millions of other people in the same situation.

i actually can strike up a conversation pretty easily, i work as a waiter and im good with charm, if nothing else. its wicked easy for me to flirt with girls too and if im ever at a party or something i have no problem its just as i mentioned those times hardly ever happen. i wish i worked at a better resturaunt that hired GOOD LOOKING girls. the one’s i work with are all fucking shite. :’(

[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:

it wouldnt be so bad if i had a girlfriend or something to pass the time with when im not doing one of said things that i only do but i dont even have oppurtunities to meet women anymore. i work with a lot of girls but the ones who are decent looking arent even hot, they just look better than other girls who work there and theyre all like 27+ anyway and just falling apart.
[/quote]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ffaakwVskE

[quote]TJN713 wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
my school is a community college which sucks because theres no such thing as campus life.

most people show up for classes then leave. theres a couple people i see here and there outside of class and of course its at the gym, they arent girls anyway.

meh, ill pull something through.

@ the Vegas stuff, i dont think it could be that bad. like i said ive been there before and there was a ton of hot chicks just walking the streets its a tourist hotspot and everyone lets it loose in Vegas. a relationship would be cool, besides i think i could pull a stripper with no problems, but even tons of anonymous sex would be fine (hell just a little sex at this point would be fine). i just dont have those oppurtunities here because when am i going to go out? i work thurs-sat night. even if i didnt i probaly coulnt find anyone willing to barhop with me though.

You should have called this thread “Sick of Not Getting Laid.”

Have you ever actually “pulled” a stripper? Not that hard. Buy her sh*t or give her drugs. Or wait until you are in your 40s and attract the ones with Daddy issues.

The only people who get “tons of anonymous sex” are gay guys in bath houses. What is so special about your working class ass that girls in Vegas would throw themselves at you as opposed to every other d.b. in the clubs?

You need more realistic expectations from life.
[/quote]

i dont think id nesecarily get more than other guys im just saying that theres more to go around. those sorta things are around you everywhere there, no matter where you work because almost all the jobs there are hospitality. Boston has some clubs and obviously theres girls here too since we have so many colleges but the party scene is kinda whack. everything closes at 1-2am plus most people who are in Vegas are gonna be more likely to hit the clubs and casino…i mean thats why people go there. Whereas here i could be like hey dude, wanna go to the club? …nah man theres a Seinfield marathon on.

but nothing is finalized, and Vegas isnt the only option, i still have like a month of school left this semester anyway (i think?). These are just some things that’ve been running through my mind. And i dont think im going to run away to Vegas and endeavor on some extravagent playboy lifestyle i just think its a cool place and theres plenty of fun to be had. And as someone from Reno was telling me Vegas is cool if you want a place completely devoid of culture which was funny because i mention how thats all there is in Boston, its like the total opposite because here theres all musuems and historic stuff and campuses and all i really want is bright lights and smut.

bright lights and smut, has a nice ring to it huh?

[quote]dk44 wrote:
Pootie Tang wrote:
A little off topic…I just got who is painted on that chicks stomach in your avatar. Its Grr from Invader Zim! Damn I thought my brain was gonna explode,lol.

Continue topic.

Live, you should hangout with Pootie Tang, he obviously has no life either…JK PT![/quote]

Ohhh you bastard!! Lol.

I’ll have you know that my saturdays are filled with social activities, like surfing for pregnant porn and stalking celebraties. I am a VERY popular dude in my LARP club.

[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
TJN713 wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
my school is a community college which sucks because theres no such thing as campus life.

most people show up for classes then leave. theres a couple people i see here and there outside of class and of course its at the gym, they arent girls anyway.

meh, ill pull something through.

@ the Vegas stuff, i dont think it could be that bad. like i said ive been there before and there was a ton of hot chicks just walking the streets its a tourist hotspot and everyone lets it loose in Vegas. a relationship would be cool, besides i think i could pull a stripper with no problems, but even tons of anonymous sex would be fine (hell just a little sex at this point would be fine). i just dont have those oppurtunities here because when am i going to go out? i work thurs-sat night. even if i didnt i probaly coulnt find anyone willing to barhop with me though.

You should have called this thread “Sick of Not Getting Laid.”

Have you ever actually “pulled” a stripper? Not that hard. Buy her sh*t or give her drugs. Or wait until you are in your 40s and attract the ones with Daddy issues.

The only people who get “tons of anonymous sex” are gay guys in bath houses. What is so special about your working class ass that girls in Vegas would throw themselves at you as opposed to every other d.b. in the clubs?

You need more realistic expectations from life.

i dont think id nesecarily get more than other guys im just saying that theres more to go around. those sorta things are around you everywhere there, no matter where you work because almost all the jobs there are hospitality. Boston has some clubs and obviously theres girls here too since we have so many colleges but the party scene is kinda whack. everything closes at 1-2am plus most people who are in Vegas are gonna be more likely to hit the clubs and casino…i mean thats why people go there. Whereas here i could be like hey dude, wanna go to the club? …nah man theres a Seinfield marathon on.

but nothing is finalized, and Vegas isnt the only option, i still have like a month of school left this semester anyway (i think?). These are just some things that’ve been running through my mind. And i dont think im going to run away to Vegas and endeavor on some extravagent playboy lifestyle i just think its a cool place and theres plenty of fun to be had. And as someone from Reno was telling me Vegas is cool if you want a place completely devoid of culture which was funny because i mention how thats all there is in Boston, its like the total opposite because here theres all musuems and historic stuff and campuses and all i really want is bright lights and smut.

bright lights and smut, has a nice ring to it huh?[/quote]

OK, trying my best to not be a dick here. Based upon what you say, you are going to a lower level school which has no campus social life and are kind of stuck in a service industry job. Yet you live in what is in essence one of the biggest college towns in America. I went to BC, I know Boston very well. If you can’t find women your own age there, how will anyplace else be better? Say you move to LA. There will be a whole new series of challenges you will face there, but they will all relate back to your current lot in life.

Graduate. Get a better job. Improve yourself and you will improve your opportunities and be more attractive to women.

Now if you want to party your 20s away, do that. Your only problem is that the Mortgage Broker industry is on life support. Not sure what other “legit” jobs those guys can get.

I’m pretty fucking serious about the gym and eating and all that… but I don’t let it interfere with my social life. I mean, I don’t drink as much or as often as most people I know but the friends I keep close are ones that are like me and don’t either… If you are over 30 and have a chance of doing very well in amateur comps or among the pro ranks, I can see why you’d give up everything to pursue bodybuilding, but shit man, you’re young, you gotta live! I go to a school with a ton of school spirit and campus life so it’s fun as shit here… so… maybe move to a warmer state? Cali, Texas, I don’t know, but there is no shortage of hot women and parties.

As far as talking to girls… well, it’s pretty easy to make small talk. Just fuckin say something. It doesn’t really matter what, just be confident in yourself and go with it. It can literally be anything. Something circumstantial like if she like… drops something or something funny happens, comment, and you’re in.

Good luck bro.

I kind of like not having a social life. I get to eat, sleep, read, write, run, lift, study, and goof off, all on my own schedule, with no interruptions.

I used to think those thoughts, but then I kind of grew up (No insult to you there, but I do think your attitude is consistent with a younger mindset.) You have a ton of priorities, and once you get your mind straightened out, it will seem a lot easier.

Your problem is you’re in community college. :slight_smile:

Go to a university and you’ll have no problem meeting people and definitly won’t have a problem getting laid. College girls are easy (and that Beastie Boys song pops into mind).

I study physics, workout 5 days a week, teach a lab, and among everything else going on I really just want time to myself by the end of the week to get the hell AWAY from people. But I have a girl friend now and I’m 24 so I think that partying thing has passed by for me, I don’t even drink anymore actually. But none the less, my roommate (21y/o) is always hanging out with new girls.

[quote]TJN713 wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
TJN713 wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
my school is a community college which sucks because theres no such thing as campus life.

most people show up for classes then leave. theres a couple people i see here and there outside of class and of course its at the gym, they arent girls anyway.

meh, ill pull something through.

@ the Vegas stuff, i dont think it could be that bad. like i said ive been there before and there was a ton of hot chicks just walking the streets its a tourist hotspot and everyone lets it loose in Vegas. a relationship would be cool, besides i think i could pull a stripper with no problems, but even tons of anonymous sex would be fine (hell just a little sex at this point would be fine). i just dont have those oppurtunities here because when am i going to go out? i work thurs-sat night. even if i didnt i probaly coulnt find anyone willing to barhop with me though.

You should have called this thread “Sick of Not Getting Laid.”

Have you ever actually “pulled” a stripper? Not that hard. Buy her sh*t or give her drugs. Or wait until you are in your 40s and attract the ones with Daddy issues.

The only people who get “tons of anonymous sex” are gay guys in bath houses. What is so special about your working class ass that girls in Vegas would throw themselves at you as opposed to every other d.b. in the clubs?

You need more realistic expectations from life.

i dont think id nesecarily get more than other guys im just saying that theres more to go around. those sorta things are around you everywhere there, no matter where you work because almost all the jobs there are hospitality. Boston has some clubs and obviously theres girls here too since we have so many colleges but the party scene is kinda whack. everything closes at 1-2am plus most people who are in Vegas are gonna be more likely to hit the clubs and casino…i mean thats why people go there. Whereas here i could be like hey dude, wanna go to the club? …nah man theres a Seinfield marathon on.

but nothing is finalized, and Vegas isnt the only option, i still have like a month of school left this semester anyway (i think?). These are just some things that’ve been running through my mind. And i dont think im going to run away to Vegas and endeavor on some extravagent playboy lifestyle i just think its a cool place and theres plenty of fun to be had. And as someone from Reno was telling me Vegas is cool if you want a place completely devoid of culture which was funny because i mention how thats all there is in Boston, its like the total opposite because here theres all musuems and historic stuff and campuses and all i really want is bright lights and smut.

bright lights and smut, has a nice ring to it huh?

OK, trying my best to not be a dick here. Based upon what you say, you are going to a lower level school which has no campus social life and are kind of stuck in a service industry job. Yet you live in what is in essence one of the biggest college towns in America. I went to BC, I know Boston very well. If you can’t find women your own age there, how will anyplace else be better? Say you move to LA. There will be a whole new series of challenges you will face there, but they will all relate back to your current lot in life.

Graduate. Get a better job. Improve yourself and you will improve your opportunities and be more attractive to women.

Now if you want to party your 20s away, do that. Your only problem is that the Mortgage Broker industry is on life support. Not sure what other “legit” jobs those guys can get.[/quote]

yea i see what youre saying. ive only had this job for like 2 months it just sucks so bad that the only nights i have shifts are typical party nights, thurs-sat and i work sunday too.

but when you have the oppurtunity to make over 100 in cash a night its hard to be like yeah, im gonna go headover to Walgreens or some bullshit.

its not that i want to party my 20’s “away” its that i just like going out and doing stuff. ive been seriously considering teaching for my profession and i know that job comes with a lot of responsibilities so i just dont want to spend the years that youre alloted to party and fuck around not doing that shit then getting to the other job where i have no choice…but hey at least ill have summers off right? lol

idk maybe im just overthinking it and being overdramatic, hell like i said i only been doing it for like 2 months. and i guess its better to be busy than to have too much free time, but i just need to get things in balance. which is just hard to do being a fulltime student and working close to fulltime. ill get it figured out though.

and just to clearify, i dont think im currently unattractive to women.

i think i just gotta go get it instead of thinking its gonna come get me. tu sabe?

you could always try one of those dating sites. Just put on there you are looking for just friends with benefits.

The problem is that you are desperate, you don’t think it, but it ends up showing through and it turns girls off. Once you get comfortable with yourself and figure out who you are, things get much easier. It is part of being 20-about 24.