Sick and Tired Over my Obsession for Perfection

I dunno; I have received a fair amount of compliments from women regarding my physique from college onward. Men too for that matter, but I don’t think being muscular and lean will ever go out of style.

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I a lot of our perceptions and how they relate to our obsessions/frustrations are a matter of context. I know that my own priorities and how I feel I fit within them have changes from 20’s to 40’s.

S

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Yeah, it’s not totally unheard of, and I catch eyes from time to time, but it’s just funny how approachable you become to other dudes when you start putting on any appreciable size.

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I had a similar view in my early 20’s, and @BrickHead did a great write up above. Here is what I would recommend…

Do things “wrong” for a month, like… really wrong. Train in ways you think wont get you results (cut the number of days… do Full body… fuck it, skip a week, etc…), dont worry 1% about eating like a body builder, etc…

Take a picture at the start of the month and at the end.

You will be absolutely amazed at how little difference it makes. Which is to say, you will be given perspective on how little eating at 2pm versus 2:37 matters. Or how little missing a workout makes. Honestly you could probably take the whole damn month off, eat like shit, and BARELY notice a difference.

I used to eat 6 times a day, rigorously scheduled (even at work and family gathering), train 5 days a week or I’d get very down on myself, etc… Now, I basically train 3 days a week and eat 2-3 times a day and my body is probably 90% the same, which for me is a good trade off.

Oh, and everyone you want to look like is probably on steroids anyway, so eating all the right meals and hitting all the right workouts wont land you on the cover of Flex anyway :wink:

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Op… if the driving force of what your doing is motivated by external motivation such as compliments. You will burn out before you actually reach your full potential .

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Easy, Lonnie. If I quit eating like a bodybuilder then I’d eat like an American. A large American. :smile:

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Well, they sure stopped caring about ME at any rate…

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Just remember that the end of the day, nobody else really cares. I know your mindset, I know it well. If you are like me, no matter what anyone tells you, you will always carry that ‘bug’ with you. Find a new ‘obsession’ to take that approach to. Make it something that people do actually care about, can help or provide values to others or something that you can profit from mentally or financially.

Unpopular opinion here but you may not be dealing with body image dysmorphia issues here, just a faulty dopamine regulation issue. Do you have addictive or obsessive tendencies in other areas in life or did you before getting into lifting? Example, I was a ‘hardcore gamer’ before the gym(Waittz was actually a gamertag play on words for weights). I have issues with substances like booze/others and other similar things.

When I was around 17-24 I was just like you described. Than I really got involved with a career, building wealth and a family. Your described behavior is how I am with my field of work. It doesnt go away, just channel it into something that will benefit your life. Lifting/Fitness does not benefit your life when it becomes a destructive obsession. A hobby and lifestyle is much better. My two cents at least.

Another unpopular opinion, it doesnt take much to build a killer physique. Just takes consistency and time. Eat well 80% of the time, lift correctly with a good plan 3-4x a week. Do that for 5+ years, boom, your in the top percentile of the world. You do not NEED to be a fitness cover model or onstage bodybuilder or even Instagram fake celebrity. In real life looking like a freak is actually a detraction depending on what you do with your life to feed yourself and your family. Having a BF% under 15%, an 8-10+ drop(chest to waist) and some size and more importantly balance in your physique will help your life. Why you would need more unless this is how you make your living is beyond me.

Shit, I forgot this isnt the flame free confessional thread…

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I agree 100% with this statement. To be strong, look jacked, look good with clothes off and on and be healthy, this is all that’s needed for the average joe.

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Exactly. This is not my work. And my life has changed so when I stopped obsessing so much about my physique and started enjoying life more, because anyway I was already in the top 1% lol.

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There is something further that can be said about unrealistic beauty standards not just being an issue for women in society. Too many people get caught up chasing and comparing themselves to unicorn physiques without understanding what goes behind it. Outlier genetics, often times drug use, photoshop, lighting/angles and hollywood tricks can distort what people think is not only achievable but also maintainable.

They see the iconic Cap America getting his chest touched photo, not realizing that he was paid to look that way, and also doesn’t always look exactly that way.

Case in point, what was on screen, and what was real life for the same shot:

vs

People love to cry out juice on Canvil, frist off, who cares, secondly stage lighting or instagram angles is not what you look like walking your dog or at a BBQ. Also, same guy not peaking as if his paycheck literally depends on 15 seconds of shirtless footage:

Point of story, dont obsess about something that is not important. Obsess about stuff like taking fish oil and vitamin D everyday, wearing SPF in the sun, spending time with firends and family. Then just lift heavy stuff and eat right…

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And to add to that: If you are fit, strong, and dressed well, this is what women and society will notice and not if your upper chest is slightly less developed than your delts. You can choose to obsess over minutiae when analyzing your physique, but realize no one else is (unless of course you’re a bodybuilder on a stage).

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wait, how old are you? I assumed you were like 18 since you said you live with your parents.

Get your shit together and move out first. You’re an adult, you’re living with your parents, and yet for some reason your obsession is bodybuilding? Your obsession should be finding a damn apartment.

get over it. Better times are ahead, but you’re gonna have to stop being lazy and work for it. I’m 35, and I can tell you that my best years of my life have been since I turned 30. Every year I’m in better shape, I’m making more money, I look better, I feel better. If you decide you already peaked, then you won’t ever do anything of significance. If you decide you haven’t reached your best you, you’ll get better if you work at it.

yep. I get a lot of comments as well. Women don’t just suddenly stop caring about aesthetics at 19, lol.

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Well, isn’t that when they’re supposed to stop caring and find a fat loser guy to take care of forever? If they don’t, won’t they be all gross by the time they’re, say, 35?

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Another thing, women will love a chiselled physique. And if your decent in the bedroom, well you’ll be elevated to another level still. However, start missing dates because it conflicts with the gym, or refusing the dessert, or alcohol, etc, and your status starts to decline. You’re now becoming boring!

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I can’t say that I feel better. At this point I might concede that I physically peaked when I was about 23. I was playing college basketball as a walk on after not playing competitively for four years. My vertical was at its peak. I was lean. I was engaged so I’d nailed down the spouse part of my life. And probably most importantly - this was before a knee and hip surgery.

I think I could feel close to the same as I did back then if it weren’t for the injuries. And all the other aspects of my life are better.

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I should clarify here, because what you’re saying is totally right.

My injuries have piled up. I have a zillion things that hurt regularly. I’m using the term ‘feel better’ to describe a more general sense of well being. I’m bigger, faster, stronger, and more confident. And for me, that creates the good feels that outweigh the toll of injuries.

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I think injuries and “aging” (not getting old, but just getting oldER) will always have some effect on what’s possible, as well as what we actually WANT.

S

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Kind sir don’t use dirty word like that!

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Aging sucks, but it’s far better than the alternative!

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