Shut Down for Good? Start Prescribed TRT?

so long story short i have been making myself crazy on whether or not to start the test cyp that was prescribed to me 3 weeks ago. i know i might get flamed from this but the damage is already done and i cant look back. i am 38 yo weighing 200LB currently and 5’10". back in 2008 i started doing test enth/cyp eq, blasting and cruising anywhere from 300mg to 1000 mg a week of test and 200-500mg eq with maybe 3-40 day periods of adrol at 75mg a day all the way up until my last shot may 3rd 2013. i never did any hcg but i threw in clomid a few times. i was stupid and never thought that i would be shut down for good and time just flew by. really got worried when i went for a sperm count and it was close to zero. my lh and fsh was 0.2 and 0.7 so i decided to come off, my last shot was may 3 this year. i was scared so i went online and tried to find some pct help, even if it was too late i thought i would try. i ordered some hcg,hmg, clomid, torem and nolvadex and started them mid june, i did:
hmg 75 IU 2xweek
hcg 500 iu 3xweek
clomid 50 mg/day
torem 60 mg/day

for approximately 7-8 weeks. stopped everything mid august and waited a month and went to the doc to get my test level and thyroid checked 9/13/13.
total test: 95 (241-827)
thyrooid t4 free 1.0(0.8-1.8)
t3 total 97 (76-181)
TSH 3rd gen 1.74 (0.4-4.5)

doc told me i was screwed and would probably have to go on trt.

went to an endo and got full work up 10/10/13:

fsh 6.0 (1.6-8.0)
lh 4.2 (1.5-9.3)
prolactin 6.1 (2.0-18.0)
estradiol <15 (<39)
total t 205 (250-1100)
test free 29.9 (35-155)
SHBG 43 (10-50)

when i went back on oct 22 he gave me a script for 200mg cyp a week with 250 iu hcg 3x week. i have not started yet because i was wondering if any of you have recovered after such a long use on your own. i am a little more tired, have literally no sex drive, even after 2-3 viagra and a cialas. i have put on about 3-4 inches in my waist Fat (think tire around your stomach) but from there up i am almost the same, maybe a little smaller this is with the same if not cleaner diet. i still go to the gym 3-4x a week and have lost zero strength.
i want to have kids soon so i want to have my sperm rechecked now that i have been off for over 6 months. just wanted to get some feed back as i have been reading for months and my head is still spinning. i was thinking of doing some more blood work in a week or two to see if anything has changed and maybe seeing another endo to see his impressions. am i just making myself crazy? should i just jump on the prescribed test and hcg? i dont really care anymore about being big and just would like to loose the fat in my stomach and move on in life.

sorry for the rant.

You didn’t give recovery a fair try.

Having been on steroids for so long, recovery will take more than the (less than) two months that you tried PCT. Something closer to 6 months would be more realistic. Also, you did it wrong. HCG, while useful initially to help testicles recover, will cause continued shutdown of the HPTA, so it was counterproductive to keep running it throughout PCT. The HCG cancelled out your PCT. Finally, running toremifene along with Clomid is redundant. Clomid itself should be sufficient.

sorry i did the hcg and hmg actually later. here is the exact way i did it, i had to look through my emails to see when i received all my products. i actually ran it longer than i thought. started pct june 6th and finished august 29th.

week 1-5
clomid 50 mg/day
torem 60 mg/day

week 6-9
hmg 75 IU 2xweek
hcg 500 iu 3xweek
clomid 35 mg/day
torem 30 mg/day

week 10-11
clomid 25 mg/day
torem 30 mg/day

so you think i should try another round of clomid? i have 10000 iu of hcg still. have you ever heard of anyone recovering after a 5 year blast and cruise?