T Nation

Shugs: The Time Between


Great Blog, friend…

Just a question that I’d like you and the Gang’s comment on…and it’s about that “Life’s Companion”…

I think that a LOT of people flounder in Life without that Companion to keep them focused and motivated.

While I agree that we should be able to move forward in our Lives independently, a partner IN LIFE (NOT just someone we have sex with) can sure add a lot to our Lives…and without them we can often only become part of the man or woman we were meant to be.

Hey…I’m certainly no expert here! I just would like to know the thoughts of Shugs, TC and the rest of “The Nation”.



I think you nailed it, Lion King. I’ve seen many, many men let their education and/or careers go to hell because they’re too busy chasing tail. Nothing wrong with the pursuit of women, but I’m talking about guys who drop out of college or get fired from work because they simply let their social lives (or the attempt to have a social life) interfere.

When you have a long term girlfriend or get married, this provides a base of support - if you get involved with the right woman. A good one is foundational and supportive to all your efforts and goal, as you should be to hers. A bad, self-destructive one will take you down with her. (I have a whole rant written on this topic I need to finish up.)

I’ve often said that I would have never graduated from college if I hadn’t had a steady girl the whole time. I would have been so busy trying to FIND a girl, I would have LOST my education.

Of course, some guys do just fine without a girlfriend or a wife. Doesn’t affect them in the least bit. In fact, they thrive on not being tied down and spend all their time starting a career, getting an education etc. I talked to one guy recently who’s doing very well for himself. He said he would never be where he’s at today if he had to entertain a girlfriend. He works from sun up to sun down. Said he’d worry about getting into a serious relationship later and just doesn’t want one right now.

So, in the end, it really depends on the individual.

Thanks, Shugs!

Yep…definitely very individual…but it just seems like those people with a TRUE “Life Companion” (I’m not talking about those people who go through the motions or who treat their dog better than their companion)seem as though they go through “The Time Between” with an added purpose.

I don’t know…it’s seems as though the very act of just having someone by your side…struggling through life as a team… just seems to give one added purpose and strength…

My feeling about those who are single?(by choice or otherwise?). The right companion can only add to your Life…

We’re agreeing here, Brother!(I think!)


Couldn’t agree more, Mufasa! I’m getting married in 10 days and can’t even remember what life was like before I met my {future} wife. She’s truly made me better in every way.

I always thought of myself as more the “independent” type and rarely had steady girlfriends. I figured I might very well be single all my life… and that didn’t bother me too much. It did for awhile but it was ironic that just about the same time I stopped worrying about it, I met her and everything changed. I don’t know, maybe I just acted more like myself rather than the guy trying to get a piece.

I suppose I believe in karma because I feel that if you always try to do what’s right, things have a way of working out.

On the subject of “added purpose,” I’d say being a dad is even powerful.

It can be a double-edged sword, but most of the time nothing makes a man get his collective shit together like becoming a father – unless he’s a loser sperm doner and not a dad. Big difference.

[quote]Chris Shugart wrote:
most of the time nothing makes a man get his collective shit together like becoming a father

LOL… tell me about it. This time last year, I was worried about my unemployment running out. Then my wife got pregnant. Today, I’m actually concerned about how the Presidential candidates are planning to deal with the richest 1% of Americans.

It’s truly shocking how much you can accomplish when you get serious about it.

Yep…kids can have a funny effect…

I’ve seen guys that I went to High School with do a complete 360 when they became a parent…while with others it didn’t change them one bit…in fact, they just went out and got more women pregnant…

Again, I guess it all goes back to the individual…

Great discussion!


My son starts junior high football this year. It’s a rite of passage up here in the Texas Panhandle.

This summer he started coming to the gym with me and training. I treat him like a man when we’re there. Cussing, yelling, spitting, loud music, it’s all good when we’re there - a real test-fest.

But the best thing? We’re together. Sometimes I have to pull rank - but that’s being a dad. I never heard my dad ask me if I wanted to go lift. I heard my son ask me that just this afternoon - priceless.

Congratulations Tyler23

Thanks SCC! :slight_smile: