T Nation

Shower Like a Man?


#1

How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket

according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental

note to do more

sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah

and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43

added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes

until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body

wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on

head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed

areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave

them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the

'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly

physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the

soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out

of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make

the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING 'CAUSE MOST OF IT'S TRUE!!!!!!

--


#2

I actually laughed out loud at the "woo woo" bit. Dunno why, its not big or clever but the mental image, god almighty.


#3

That's hilarious!....and only so because its mostly true...


#4

Some friends of mine posted this on another forum months ago. They got a kick out of the "WOO-WOO" part because my girlfriend had told them that it was exactly what I do every single time!

WOO WOO!!!!!!!!!


#5

I think every guy has done the "WOO WOO" thing to his girl at least once.


#6

Ahhh that made my day "woo-woo"


#7

I just use my PC muscles to make my little man dance a jig. Does that count as adequate replacement for the woo woo? :slight_smile:


#8

I do it everyday.


#9

I shower like a girl.

Dammit.


#10

Can you make it do the helicopter too?


#11

Why, I'd never!

:wink:


#12

Much more like a whip.


#13

How about slap her on the ass with it as she walks by?


#14

This is all me except I wiegh myself and the clothes are pile up the night BEFORE. Oh.... and leave underwear on floor at shower entry.


#15

That's how I broke my nose for the 1st time - I got hit on the recoil.

DB


#16

You forgot about how you point at yourself in the mirror. Do you leave your shades on when you shower? Just wondering.

DB


#17

I love the woo woo!!

Don't ever stop showering like a man:-)


#18

I can do the helicopter, but I prefer to slap it back and forth and really make it "slap" on each leg.

Then she says, "Doesn't that hurt swinging it back and forth like that?"

Me: "Nah, only if my balls were being slapped around like that."


#19

Tried that and knocked her into the dresser drawers. :slightly_smiling:


#20

Next time don't hit her with your hips;)