T Nation

Show Me The Money?



I have a dilema, that I thought I would ask your opinion on.

I am close to buying a house and am scraping together the deposit (down-payment). Its a large amount and I having to borrow of my mum and brother and many other sources.

Now, my best friend owes me around 3000 dollars. This money would really help me out.

This guys is really nice guy and I know that if he had ALL of it, he would pay me it. Now he comes from a very rich family but he has no direct access to his parents' money and has to work very, very hard for his small income. To give you an example, he works in the region of 80 hours per week and gets paid around 250 dollars per week by his father. His dad is very strict.

So my question is do I just be really firm with him and tell him that I need it NOW?

I don't know where he would get it from, but maybe he could ask a sibling. He definitely couldn't ask his father because I know him and his father would beat him down. Now, he does go drinking evey other week and spend in the region of 100 to 200 dollars. So I think "why doesn't he just pay me with that".

I really could do with the money. So maybe I shouldn't care where he gets it from and should simply demand it. My Mrs is always furious at me for not demanding the money.



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yeah. wtf?

you can get even the shittiest of jobs working 35 hours for £200 a week.


I have a feeling you may never see that money. At least not all of it at once.


No, I am sure that I will see it. He has been my best friend since I was around 5. its a matter of when.

The reason why he stays there is that he is a family man, and he stands to inherit shit loads when his dad retires.


When he retires or when he dies? There's the real question and perhaps the answer to your dilemma. Not that I'm suggesting anything illegal....


LOL! Very good! Although he will take the reins when his old man retires. Knowing his dad, he'll still be running the show.

What do i do though guys?


Explain your dilemma; voice your difficulty in even asking for the money due to his current situation but mention that there are no other options; mention that his 'very rich family' (your words) should appreciate his hard work and maybe his dad could lend him the money, similar to how you loaned the money to him.

Basically, sack up and say you need money that was originally yours. It's not a pleasant thing to do, but when in difficult situations the solutions are very rarely pleasant.


Tell him "Dude, you know that money you owe me? Well I need it, like, now."


Ok, I'll ask him tomorrow. I don't see where he'll get it from, but I'll ask him. Politely!


Well, I'll assume you gave him $3000 because of an emergency. You are in a slight emergency. Payback is due.


I disagree with you on egging him on to asking his dad for money. You loaned him money. His dad has nothing to do with your little situation that you two are in. (Presumably)

If you need [your money] that [you loaned him], then [ask him] for [your money] back.


Actually no. He borrowed bit by bit off me, and nows it mounted up to this much. You may call me a dick for giving him it.


Haha, he must be a good friend.


I guess I'm just visualizing this conversation in my head and seeing the other guy pretty quiet and trying to figure out, in his mind, how he's gonna scrape the money together.

If these two are as good a friends as the OP suggests they are then maybe he wouldn't feel uncomfortable helping the other guy figure out ways to raise the dough. I realize what you're saying, but it seems like a bit of a cold-hearted way to approach it. The OP doesn't want to just say 'hey, I need my money, so get me a check in a few days, ok?'

I think he's trying to figure out to get the money without ruining the friendship and by suggesting ways to get the money the friend might be a bit more willing (and able) to do it.




YEah, but i would let the loanee worry about where the money is going to come from. Chances are that if he thinks he can get it from his father, that idea will already be popping in his head.

Deffinately heed the advice of everyone here and use some tact when confronting the guy though. Its not that hard.

"Hey, I know I have lent you a some money over the years and you are on some hard times. But I am in the process of getting a downpayment for a house and I was wondering if there is any way of collecting?"

Lastly if you are having to call in debts with people and scraping from multiple sources, maybe you should wait a little longer on getting your finances figured out.


This we can both agree on. It's hard enough to deal with mortgage payments on top of all the other monthly expenses already in place, but when you're going into it scraping money together for said mortgage it might be a bad time to go into something like this. Certainly I know nothing about your situation or your finances, and I've never personally had a mortgage, but I've seen enough people deal with financial issues based off of their mortage--and their second and third mortgage--that I'd hate to enter into that agreement without having my all my finances set straight.

Anyway, good luck with everything.


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The dad is using his son worse than some 19th century capitalist uses a worker. Holding the guy hostage for an inheritance?

Your buddy should tell dear ol da' to sod off.

I also don't think you'll ever see your 3000. Write it off. Once a 'friend' borrows serious money from you, you are no longer friends from that point on.

Rule: either give gifts or none at all.