T Nation

Share Your Wisdom


#1

After experiencing my first breakup with my 14month girlfriend, I opened up to my mother. Previous to this we would barely talk, it was hard opening up myself, but I was in desperate need for some advice. After she shared her life experience and opinion, I had this epiphany; I felt this moment of clarity. It is like the cartoons, where the bulb switches on.

So as a young and naive 18 year old I'm asking you to share your wisdom!

Feel free to share anything you want, whether its life tips or even sex tips. Your experience is worth to learn from.

To start things up here are some classic questions:

Is it worth following your passion even though it might not provide the ideal financial stability?

How do you know when you find real love?

You are welcome to contribute more questions!


#2

Ain't it a shame to beat your wife on a Sunday?


#3

Aren't you insightful.


#4

That depends on the person and the passion. Being broke all the time sucks ass, I don't care how much guitar you get to play. On the other hand, if your passion is cooking and you don't become a great chef, you can still cook in a restaurant and make a living.

I went for the money and my life gets better every year.


#5

'You are welcome to contribute more questions!'

Don't judge me.


#6

you'll know your in love when nothing else matters.

at some point in your life, you'll have a bunch of friend; but just know that they won't ALL be your friends forever.

it's better to have a small group of VERY close friends b/c they are the ones you can count on. Not your drinking buddies from college.


#7

Love can be a weird thing. It can develop fast and furiously or it can build slowly over time. There's no set rule for love. I think you can't be sure until any initial infatuation has worn off.


#8

Great tip, once the infatuation dies down, you see where you guys really stand.


#9

I feel for you guy, remembering back to my own youthful puppy love experiences and heartbreak it can take you to a deep dark and lonely abyss. But, deal with the pain maintain your composure as best you can and you will grow from the experience. You've got years and many relationships ahead of you to find one that's worth committing fully to.

Take care and stay strong!

D


#10

Thank you! Well ending it was the best choice, we would have drifted about doing long distance (we are way too busy). After talking to my mom about how this is not the end of everything, but the beginning of life, I felt such relief, such clarity. I can say I have no regrets =) I'll find someone one day.


#11

Well. I feel a bit egotistical posting in a share your wisdom thread. Don't know if it's wisdom so much as life lived, but I'll answer your questions.

As far as following your dream- I can tell you two things I know. Blind ambition will eat you up inside until there is nothing left, no matter why you're ambitious. My father didn't want to grow up in a town where everyone was a coal miner or unemployed because Wal*Mart came in and shut all the Mom and Pop stores down cold. He left Indiana and never turned back, went to the East Coast with his hangers on (the family), and started in communications.

He worked to the exclusion of all else, the pursuit of the almighty dollar. Joined Rotary, read Who Moved My Cheese, did all the stuff business people do. He barely noticed when I failed Math, or when I got a tattoo, or shaved my head, made out with drug addicts and losers by the ton. All he did notice was that his son didn't play competitive sports and his wife and daughter were too fat.

He wrote us off as bourgeois idiots that would never live up to his idea of the perfect family. He never praised anyone, told us all to be humble perfectionists who always put our nose to the grindstone and never complain, and to show absolutely no weakness, or get the fuck out of his way.

Now he's an old man with a new wife that tolerates him because he brings in the loot, and a couple of estranged kids who only call on Christmas when it's appropriate. I hope the money makes him happy when no one sits by his bed while he wrestles with whether or not God will find him wanting.

That said, loving what you do for a living isn't impossible. All it takes is research, innovation, and perseverance. It's just like weight lifting. It may seem daunting for a 120 pound dude to become a beefcake, but if he sticks with it, and consistently strives to better himself, he will succeed.

The second thing is in regard to love and relationships. How you know you're in love is when you realize you're willing to compromise to stay with someone. When you're willing to ACTUALLY change, not just pay lip service and then go back to your old habits. Long term relationships are all about communication and compromise, and so many end up in divorce because one person just isn't willing to do what they must to be a member of a team.


#12

In all fairness, money may not be why your father was like that, he may just be an asshole.


#13

Most girls have Daddy Issues.

If you find one that doesn't, marry her.


#14

Use a condom...put a bag on that bugger.


#15

what is it you do lanky?


#16

I'm an accountant. Public accounting, specifically.


#17

I did.
Still rockin' after 23 years.


#18

Really? I didn't think it was possible.


#19

Live in the now.

A dog is a mans best friend because he forgives and forgets. Learn to be like a dog.

Do things you don't normally do, this is how you grow as a person. People who do new things will feel fulfilled, people who grind out thier same rut day in and day out, year in and year out, will feel empty, like they missed out on life.

Forgive people, or better yet don't get mad in the first place. Seriously this is VERY important, it doesn't effect the other person as much as it effects YOU, and ultimately YOU are in control of YOU.

Use the rule of 80-20 as much as you can. Use it in all areas of your life, work, play, everything. It's a good rule.

One that is probably the most important is to always be aware of lifes lessons, this is how you gain your own wisdom, not on an internet message board. Learn for YOUR experiences and don't forget the lessons learned. A Journal could help with this.

V


#20

Love... Here's my opinion:

Pure biology. Your instincts will always tell you what to do.

There are 5 scenarios for males:
1) Ugly & moronic girl - they tell you 'stay away at all costs'
2) Ugly & good girl - they will ultimately make you go away
3) Hot & moronic girl - they tell you 'do the thing and get the fuck out'
4) hot & good girl (but you're hotter) - 'do the thing a few times but utimately search for another procreation chance'
5) hot & good girl (you're not that hot anymore) - 'be with her'

Scenario 5 is called LOVE by people who need global terms to name different things.