T Nation

Sexually abused as a child


Zeb is right on with the question,
“what is it that you really want?”

on the normal side, you need counselling for sure. think about what steps you should take to pursue this legally. also, getting a career in law enforcement that catches child molesters and pedophiles will suit you as you can turn the negative energy within you (anger) into positive.

on the crazy side, i don’t think you’re up to it. i read your post and sense a certain fear towards your cousin. just because he went to prison and a regular bad ass doesn’t mean you can’t do him. and you shouldn’t go to jail if you plan it correctly and meticulously.

this is what i would do if i’m crazy enough. you said, “I still see him every now and again at family functions and we talk to each other like normal cousins do. I have never raised the issue with him, just kept it blocked up inside.”

this is perfect. what’s next? give him a hint that you remember what you use to do to him and make it known that you enjoyed it and you want to go out with him in the near future.

ok, i’m stopping. the rest is clear.


you’re a crazy sick mother fucker!
no fucking remorse!

i like that!

I believe Zeb hit the nail on the head…

but if it is revenge that you desire I would suggest ending this person existance. You will be suprised just how easy it really is.

Best of luck on your soul searching

This cousin does need to be taken care of. If he did it to you, then he is probably doing it to somebody else. And then another, and another. Maybe he did it to some people before you, and because they kept their mouths shut, it happened to you. You owe it to the world to get rid if this piece of shit.

I don’t know if there is a statute of limitations, but it you speak up other more recent might get the nerve to speak up.

Or just hire a group of gay bodybuilders to beat and rape this punk every day for a month. Then send him a get well card with a smiley face on it.

The Mage,
I like the recommendation of the gay bodybuilders!!!

i can’t beleive there are people who are actually recommending killing this guy, i mean fair enough he is a fucked up individual…but killing someone that is next level shit!!!

Quote: 'but killing someone that is next level shit!!! ’
So is sexually abusing a child.
Personally, i have an objection to murder but in a case like this you have to take some extreme measures.

Your cousin does not deserve to live another day in peace.
He’s been in and out of jail so obviously he serves no useful purpose to society.
He may have other victims.
Only you can weigh the potential consequences and decide what action to take- but I suggest that the punishment should equal the crime.
Good luck.

If you decide to use the chipper idea, make sure that you don’t get any of his hair, blood, or skin on anything you ever plan to wear again. Drive to another state to get the woodchipper, and wait a couple months to make sure that no one will remember you. Scratch out any numbers on the chipper… if they dredge the river, they might find it, and will use any serial numbers to track down the original sale.

Y’all have watched “Fargo” too many times!

You need to blow his car up while hes in it. He’ll die a slow buring death. And if he doesn’t die hell be scarred for life. Plus there’s really no evidence that you did it, unless someone see’s you.

Actually, I first heard of this on Anatomy of a Crime, or some show like that. Guy ended up getting caught because he was seen on the bridge by someone who recognized him in the middle of the night doing the shredding. He rented the shredder and ended up getting busted when they put it all together. They searched and found a tooth on the shore. Almost the perfect murder. I have added some details that may have prevented this. Anyway, this is obviously something I have strong feelings about. It totally sucks that this is someone he is going to continue to have contact with. There is a verse in the bible, couldn’t find it to share verbatim, but basically says that the sea is not deep enough to hide those who harm children from God’s wrath. As vengeful as I sound, I am also a firm believer in Karma. This guy is cloaked in bad karma and will one day get his. Perhaps letting this run it’s course is a better option. Unfortunately, we are rarely present to witness this first hand which makes it much less satisfying. Bottom line is you bear no responsibility for what happened. I sincerely wish you the best with whatever course you choose.

"What now? I’ll tell you what now. I’m gonna get a coupla’ hard, pipe hittin’ nigga’s to go to work on the homes, here, wit a pair a pliars and a blowtorch. You hear me, hillbilly boy?! I ain’t through with you by a damn sight! I’m gonna get medevil on your ass!..

…This shit is between me, you, and soon-to-be-livin’-the-rest-of-his-short-assed-life-in-agonizing-pain rapist, here. No one else needs to know."

This is some sick shit. I sincerely hope PaulJ is not actually reading this and thinking about committing murder.

I think you should take Zeb’s advice.
Killing him would be wrong. NOT because he doesn’t deserve it…but because you would have to live with that and suffer the repercussions.
Man…I’m sorry to hear it. I know it’s tough to have to deal with that.
In all honesty, confronting him would only make things worse because chances are…he’s not going to admit to doing anything to you. And where would that leave you?
I believe you could still file a complaint. There is a chance that he has done this to others. I know that thinking of that fact is probably even more stressful for you BUT the cycle has to stop. And if you are able to prevent him from hurting someone else…
What about Child Services?
I can’t believe that you have kept this bottled up and I commend you on coming forward on T-Mag. Like Zeb said…I’m betting you probably feel a bit better now. That’s the first step. Talking to someone else about this would be a good idea…be it a friend, family member or a professional. You need to get it out in order to start dealing with it and what you want to do about it.
In any case…you have a lot to think about.
I wish you luck.
Oh and…I’d consider taking some of the T-men up on their offer to help ya kick the shit outta him!

Considering our courts, wrongheadedly I believe, have an acute revulsion for “vigilantes” even over rapists child-molestors etc I’d refrain from personal revenge through illegal means; no since spending an insane amount of years in prison.

If your post is true then you have my sympathy and I hope it isnt too late to prosecute your cousin.

Kill the fucker, no joke. The world is much better off with fewer of these molester fucks around, just don’t get caught. If i were you, i’d be curious to see how well he could swim wearing cinderblock bracelets…


There has been some (in my opinion) good advice, and some bad advice offered to you.

Some encouraging violence, others encouraging counseling, or legal help.

People are wronged every day. This is sad, but true. It is up to you to determine what is best for you.

Some people have stated that you will have to live with whatever you choose to do.

One thing to remember. You will also have to live with whatever you don’t do.

Carefully consider how you feel. Make sure that the course of action that you choose will allow you to feel you have done enough. Regardless of what you do to him, you must go on.

Personally, I have little faith in “the system”.

If you succeed in getting him put in jail, will that be enough? If you inflict injury on him, will that be enough? Even if you kill him, will that be enough.

Don’t listen to those who say “I would do this, or I would do that”. No one knows what they would do, until they are in the same position.

However you choose to act, do not add insult to your injury. Don’t get punished for doing what he caused you to do. This would be a terrible injustice.

Remember, revenge is a double-edged sword. Quicker than any other, it will cut you as quickly as the target. If you choose revenge, then be completely in control of your mental resources. Carefully plan, and take no shortcuts. Do not post your plan here, or discuss it with anyone. Act completely alone.

Choose what is best for you, and act. Every day that you live with this, without doing something, is like a day that you have lost.

Best of luck to you.