Sex, Jokes and Facts

  • Her: You`re the worst lover ever!
  • Him: How can you say that after 2 minutes?

15 to 20% of men have a feminized brain.
Approximately 10% of women have a masculinized brain.

For Valentine`s day, frequently choose cards filled with lots of words. This leaves them less space to write stuff.

One time, I did not speak to wy wife for six months. I did not want to interrupt her.

  • Doctor, I have trouble getting asleep.
  • Ask your wife to talk to you each night.

Men can find their way from point A to point B through a labyrinth of small streets, but they are completely lost when you put them in a room full of women talking of multiple things at the same time.

To get a man to listen to you, tell him in advance and give him a program or an agenda.

  • It appears that women have limited spatial abilities.
  • As long as they can find the kitchen…

Women do not have strong spatial abilities because they have evolved without hunting much … except men.

A bald head and a beard are maybe too high a price to pay for women who want to improve their spatial abilities.

Under an emotional impulse, an emotional man can react and deploy himself as violently as a reptile; an emotional women prefers to talk about it.

If a woman is not happy with her relationships, she cannot concentrate on her work. If a man is not happy with his work, he cannot concentrate on his relationships.

To prove his love to her, he climbed the highest mountains, swam across the oceans, and walked through deserts. She still left him - he was never there.

Men hate being criticized, that`s why they prefer marrying virgins.

Never give a man advice unless he asks you for it. Tell him you trust his abilities to solve problems.

Most men have cerebral hemorrhages after having spent 20 minutes choosing or buying clothes.

Women should beware of asthmatic, left-handed, bald, bearded accountants with baritone voices and who read road maps.

A man must have as much orgasms as possible in the shortest amount of time to prevent him from being attacked or taken away by predators or enemies.

About sex: women need a reason, men need a spot.

A woman wants a lot of sex with the man she loves. A man wants a lot of sex.

Miss Universe pageants are watched mostly by men, while Mr. Universe contests excite nobody.

Men prefer good looking bodies to brains because most men see better than they think.

How to satisfy a woman each time: caress, appreciate, mother, enjoy, massage, repair things, sympathise, give a serenade, compliment, support, nourish, appease, entice, make her laugh, calm, stimulate, caress, comfort, kiss, ignore fat, excite, protect, telephone, anticipate, hug, apologize, amuse, charm, obligate, fascinate, take care, have faith in, defend, dress, sanctify, admit, spoil, take in your arms, to die for, dream of, excite, gratify, yield, idolize, revere

How to satisfy a man each time: show up naked.

No man fakes orgasms: no man willingly wants to put on that face.

Most women prefer making love with the lights out: they cannot tolerate seeing a man pleasuring himself.

Most men prefer making love with the lights on: this prevents them from using the wrong woman`s first or last name.

Marriage has its positives. It teaches one loyalty, tolerance, restraint, and many other appreciable qualities that one could have gotten by without had he chosen to stay single.

For women, sex is the price to pay to get married. For men, marriage is the price to pay to have sex.

Infatuation is nature`s trick to insure that men and women stay together long enough to procreate.

The hip-waist ratio is THE solution. All around the world, women prefer with very small butts, even if most women do not know why.

How do you know when a man is ready for sex? He breathes.

[quote]DAN C wrote:
To get a man to listen to you, tell him in advance and give him a program or an agenda.
FACT! I hate it when I’m supposed to instinctively know what the Hell she is talking about.

Yet another fact. “I just got used to you not being here on the weekends, and now that you are here… it’s just odd.”