T Nation

Sex before marriage

What is everyones opinion on this? What are the reasons to maintain virginity until marriage?

I think it’s best to wait until you’re in a committed relationship with someone you love and who loves you. It keeps you safe emotionally and physically, and more importantly (kinda), after having sex the first time, a person will want more like nothing else they have ever felt. Thus, having a committed relationship as an outlet keeps you from waking up with ugly people and farm animals.

There is no reason to maintain virginity until marriage. Start having (safe) sex ASAP. Sex is really over rated. Learn how to please a woman before you get married so you’re bride isn’t disappointed.

Its good for the country.

Try before you buy.

The best reason is that you may actually regret having had sex with all those other people once you find the one you want to be with for the rest of your life.

GM- I have to agree with you on that one. Also something to think about, what if you do heve sex with a girl and you think you’re both going to get hitched then it turns out you don’t. You take that special bond away from her that could be shared with her future husband. Call me a p***y if you want but i actually do care abnout girls feelings.

STD’s are a major reason. There are so many diseases that get passed around through skin to skin contact, not to mention by all the dumbasses who have unprotected sex. At my university last year there was a chlamydia outbreak in which 9 of 10 freshmen in one fraternity’s pledge class got it, and 23 of 28 freshmen in a sorority’s pledge class got it. That’s a lot of sleeping around, and in a school of 1300, 32 cases of chlamydia in a year is quite a lot.

Still a virgin here. Almost 22. Had many “opportunities” is HS but moral and religious beliefs kept me from it. It also helps to not have a steady girlfriend in 3 years:(. I’m glad I made this decision though. I’ve seen sex destroy and control relationships. Nevertheless, I would be lying if I said it’s not a MAJOR temptation.

GM has a good point, plus sex with random people is boring

Assuming a serious relationship exists, I can only say that to avoid sex until after marriage would be to commit “… one of the classic blunders!”

Sex before marriage isn’t a huge issue to me. Some people take it as a moral thing, and being an athiest, I don’t worry about that too much. That doesn’t mean I go around porking the entire freshmen cheerleading squad (especially since our team has 3 guys in it), but sex is pretty much always an option, especially if my female friends are needing some “extra comfort” as one of them calls it. I don’t know, I wouldn’t have sex with some random person, there has to be something for it, just not a marriage-type something.

It might be good to point out that the reason sex before marriage is or was such a taboo was because sex is marriage, since this country’s moral laws stem from Biblical origins. In the Bible sex is marriage. So, having sex with multiple partners is adultry.

If you go outside of the English-speaking countries of the world, you’ll find that there is none of the holdover-Victorian emphasis on virginity. (Muslims might be an exception; I’m not familiar enough with them to know.) I can’t help thinking that virginity until marriage is something that society has implanted into the minds of some, and that it has no real intrinsic value per se. Just one more way that the church/state has come up with to regulate people’s behavior.

I dont believe in sex before marriage, and I believe in being 100% true to your spouse after marriage…For me it was a religious decision, but I am glad I waited. I really dont believe that “you have to test drive it before you purchase” I have had dozens of friends and associates who had tested it, married it, and then got divorced…I am still married, and very happy…

Sex before marriage is required in my book! Although, I’m not one for one-night stands or just hooking up for sex only, so I prefer to keep it to people I’m actually in a relationship with. Yeah, I’ve had a couple one-nighters, but I prefer something with substance and more than just a few sexual episodes. And I like to know what the sex is like before making in future commitments. And why wait to have sex with one person and then find that you have too many feelings of wanting to experiment later?

No value? Virginity till marriage is healthier and safer than the other options. I know what you’re gonna say, condoms, condoms, condoms. Here is a question; would anyone here use a condom with a woman that you knew had AIDS? If the answer is no, why not? Think about it. Bye

Been there… I’ve had the one nighters, I’ve had the committed relationships. Way back when, I was going to wait, then I changed my mine. More-than-a-handful of guys later, I’m happy and healthy both mentally and physically. However, if you haven’t done it yet, DON’T. This is not from a religious or moral standpoint. I don’t think sex is ‘wrong’, but in the long run, sleeping around can be dangerous to your health - again both mental and physical health.

The list of shit you can catch is staggering. And yes, this is even with condoms. For instance, herpes is usually all over the groin area and is contageous before there are visible lesions. fun fun fun!!!

Mentally, you may be ok with multiple partners but you may find out the hard way that you are not. And if you have waited until you are over 21 and you suddenly change your mind, are you going to regret going back on a decision that was obviously important to you?

'Try before you buy' is pretty stupid. I've had superb sex and I've had 'ok' sex. But I've never really had bad sex. And is sex the most important thing in a realtionship anyway? (Maybe that is a dumb question to ask a group of guys...)

If waiting is important to you, then wait. ESPECIALLY if you want to marry a virgin. I know a few (5 to be exact) women who are in their 20's and waiting. Every single one of them would not even consider marrying a guy who did not also wait.

Besides physical STD’s the main reason is for the other person’s feelings. Imagining the person you love having sex with someone else and enjoying it even before they even knew you is traumatizing. This can be avoided if you don’t have sex until you are sure the person is right for you.

Is it not just as traumatizing to think of your mate wanting intimate, carnal knowledge of another individual. Of wanting him inside of her (in this case)? If she hasn’t wanted to have sex with another man before you, then you should toss the cold fish back. To me, things like this are just as “traumatizing”, and having a virgin partner would still have its issues.