Setting Goals & Finding Balance?

I was wondering what some of the more ‘mature’ of you think about your lifting and overall fitness and how it fits into your lives. How do you set goals and balance the effort you put into your lifting with the rest of your life?

I was reading the recap of what Charles Staley presented in the “Phoenix Rising” article about setting goals and it got me to thinking. I recently hit my body comp goal and am a little unsure about where to go from here. I am considering trying to compete in bodybuilding at some point down the line (when my kids are a little older), but am also interested in maybe powerlifting or strongman competitions. Basically just to have fun and keep things fresh.

But for now, I just want to be consistent, get stronger, train smart, etc. I know these are all good things, but they are not black & white, measurable, concrete goals.

Just wondering what those of you with families, responsibilities, etc. think about the topic in general and how you plan your training around it. Thanks!

Hey Jilly, you posted in the 35 & Older board. Are you admitting something?

JK —

I do have a serious response, and will post later - time for Yoga class.

[quote]hankr wrote:
Hey Jilly, you posted in the 35 & Older board. Are you admitting something?

JK —

I do have a serious response, and will post later - time for Yoga class.[/quote]

Hey Jilly,

The people around me don’t share the same attitude towards fitness that I do. It makes it rough sometimes which is usually why I work out in the mornings. Luckily T-Nation always seems to have interesting ideas worth trying and keeping my mind full of new things to try. I have another couple months on my current phase before I reach back to another program in here. My wife has started working out which makes things easier but mostly I work out when everyone I know is sleeping…but man it sucks sometimes.

You seem to have the desire and the right attitude…I am sure you will find a way to make it all work.

[quote]hankr wrote:
Hey Jilly, you posted in the 35 & Older board. Are you admitting something?

JK —

I do have a serious response, and will post later - time for Yoga class.[/quote]

Hey, I was officially admitted to this forum just this year! :wink:

I welcome anyone and everyone’s input on the question, I am just wondering about the older perspective in particular. :slight_smile:

I set a goal in January of 2005 to weigh 250 at less than 10% BF. I am still at least another year from that goal.

But there are several small goals I set every year.

The first small goal is to lose the layer of blubber I get during tax season.

The second mini goal is to get ready for vacation - if we happen to be going somewhere that requires wearing a swimsuit.

But in the back of my mind - there is always the 250 pound goal that I want to reach.

I don’t know if that helps you at all - or if it was just a chance to practice my typing.

But pick another goal that seems too lofty to attain, and then set smaller goals that are on the path, but more attainable.

For me - if I weren’t trying to reach a goal lifting would not be as important to me as it is. That is not to say that it comes at the expense of my family. We have made it to 3 football games a week this season - and missed only a couple of workouts in the process.

First of all, yoga kicks ass. :slight_smile:
Class tonight was excellent. Highly reccomended.
Back on track:
I was able to put the fitness thing front and center, and stay motivated despite other demands on my time because I realized that it is the underpinning for everything else. And I mean everything. There is no aspect of life that is not negatively affected by being out of shape.

Work: Fit people think better and are more productive. They also take many fewer sick days.
Family: More energy for the kids, spouse, etc. Instead of dragging your ass around you have some git up and git it.
Sex: Obvious - You’re better at it and a hell of a lot more desirable as a hardbody than a puddin pants.

Once you accept the above, it becomes much easier to find time for working out.

As far as setting goals goes, I have found that you do have to define what a goal is first.
Goal = a specific, measurable event or state of affairs to be reached in a specific time period.
So, “I want to be more fit” is not a goal, it’s a wish. “I will have a 34” waist by Jan 1st" is a goal. The key is to make the goal objectively measurable, not a subjective judgement, otherwise you may find yourself saying, “Close enough”.

As to your specific situation, mine mirrors it to some extent. In <12 weeks I will be in the best shape of my life. I will take 2 weeks off, then I have to come up with something else. I have no desire to compete or (suprisingly to me) work the poundages back up on the big lifts, so we will have to see. Right now I am toying with the idea of bringing body parts up one at a time until I am at my genetic limit, or at least fully satisfied with my appearance. That could take years, so I will always have something to shoot for.

In your case, at your tender age, you can do literally anything you like. Having followed your work on this site for some time, I have to say that if you told me you were going to sprout wings and fly away, I would have to give it some credence.

Maybe you just have to ask yourself what excites you the most? I like the idea of Jillybop the strongman competitor myself. A real Supermom.

You are asking us to admit we are older… Maybe none of us want to do that:)

I have 10 years on you so I suppose I could count as more ‘mature’! For me lifting and fitness gives me my life. Before I started working out, all I wanted to do when I got home was fall asleep on the couch. I had high blood pressure and was on medication. I committed to myself on my 40th birthday to change that. After a little less than year I was in the single digit body fat range and off my meds - so then what? I loved how I felt but did not really plan on competing. My goal is simply to test my PRs on Squat, DL, Bench, and Shoulder press every quarter and exceed the number in each lift from the quarter before. Other than one quarter where I had an injury I have accomplished that, and plan to until I am at least 50.

That may be too simple, but I give an hour a day to my health and expect steady gains from that commitment. So far that works for me! We will see how long after 50 the numbers keep going up.

Random thoughts on some issues and questions you raise:

  1. ‘maturity’ typically means the ability to accept delayed gratification. This is a plus when in the pursuit of lofty goals.

  2. My primary goal is continual improvement. My secondary goal is the current measurable challenge. Goal 1 drives the quest for goal 2, and then, the formation of a new challenge when goal 2 is met.

  3. Effort, balance, and responsibilities requires a great deal of creativity. I could spare no more than 3 days per week @ 1 hour in the evenings so here are some of my solutions:

  • Home gym in basement. No travel time, no excuses.
  • Lunch recovery/cardio. Asphalt sled dragging in the parking lot during lunch hour. Sled in trunk and always ready to go.
  • Doggie cardio. My lab reluctantly learned that his daily walk consisted of a 2-3 mile loop through the neighborhood at 3.8 mph.
  • Equipment. See the poor man’s equipment thread.

My goal is simple, to be a lean mean sex machine by 50, Well lean and mean atleast :wink:

I am currently 47, so yes set a “long” term goal for myself,

First off loosing a ton of weight :slight_smile: April of this year weighed in a 324, today I am at 253, shothing for 235 (weight at 20 years old)

So my “simple” plan work hard eat right and read here for inspiration :slight_smile:

Over the years, training has filled certain voids in my life. I never made any money from it, it doesn’t put a roof over my head, nor food on the table. I do it as a kinda for me thing. I like the way it feels; I like the results; I like the challenges; I like thinking about how to go about acheiving my goals; even like the competitive aspect of it. My family and job, and even friends come first. After that, the gym is a kinda sanctuary for me to do all the above and more. Hope this helps
Art

I’ll be 53 next month, so yeah, I’m old. But by no means am I mature. So, Jilly, I guess I’m asking the same question as you are, except fast forward almost twenty years!

I am at a transition point in my life right now, facing an empty nest next September when my boys go off to college. I also need to reassess my goals, due to the physical limitations of aging. After 34 years of guitar playing, my fingers become stiff and painful, so I can’t move them as fast as I used to. I have plateaued on all my lifts for the past 10 months. I don’t know whether that is due to old age or fear of injury. I’m the oldest member of my women’s rugby club, and I can’t take hits like I used to.

I have never been one to play it safe or take it easy, but damn, I need to get a new hobby or die trying!

I’ll be 52 next month and my goal is to keep improving. My motivation is looking at the average 50 something and seeing an overweight, possibly diabetic, with high blood pressure, who can’t walk to the frig without being out of breath, who is planning joint replacement surgery, can’t afford all the medications they have been prescribed…I could go on forever, but you get the point.

Then look at the average 60 and 70 somethings and their quality of life, if they continue to decline from their poor 50’s condition. I read somewhere that there is no reason you can’t continue to improve, well into your 80’s, although at a much slower rate each decade, and I want to prove it personally. Besides then when you can no longer improve, you are at a much higher level and can stay at a higher level even as you decline.

This may all seem a long way off at 35, but it happens fast! When I finally retire, I want to be able to enjoy the rest of my life not spend it in a rocking chair.

Thanks for the replies so far - there is some really good food for thought in here…

I’ll be 54 tomorrow and like you I’ve reached my body composition goals (and thanks to you, JB, CW and everyone who participates on these boards!).

The major thing I want to do as far as goals going forward is to maintain a level of fitness that will allow me to do long mountain hikes, ride mountain bikes, surf, play soccer with the kids, work on the house without gasping for air etc.

Over the last few years my body surprised me with what it was capable of doing, and I don’t think I could have done it without seeing what others on this board have accomplished. I’ve been surprised to find that I have been able to add lean body mass, even at my age, and my very short term goal is to put on as much muscle as I can over the next 3 months.

The reason it is only 3 more months is because I think my running interferes with building mass, and I want to start running more and training for some specific hikes I have in mind for next summer, and that involves putting in a lot of miles.

I just passed a deadlift goal that took me 16 months to reach and I have another one that is just within reach, so that is a factor, but I want to do those hikes while I still can…

I do have doubts about how much I can ultimately lift at my age without ripping something in half and I’ve been struggling with the idea of when enough is enough. Someone who I respect actually told me yesterday that my arms were becoming grotesquely large, which is hilarious in the context of this board (I’m 175lbs!!!, not 275).

So my specific goals run through next summer, and I haven’t planned anything concrete past that timeframe.

Old_Lifter

Jilly,
My situation was probably closer to yours MANY years ago! We had 3 boys active in sports and school activities. I was more of a runner then than a lifter, but either way, my training would always suffer. It was very hard to maintain any type of consistency so it seemed that I was always ‘starting over’. I have zero regrets that I spent more time with my family at the expense of my training.

I was pretty much clueless (probably still am!) then about weight training so what I did was pretty much just follow around guys bigger than me and did the same old routine over and over. In running, I would adjust my goals for short terms, like an upcoming race and train specifically, always keeping in mind what was most important to me.

Now that I am more ‘mature’ (nice term) I try to set 4 - 6 week goals based on what I what to focus on. Being older, I care a lot less about what others think or how much I can lift and focus on proper form, gains, and of course injury minimization.

I have no delusions of every competing or being as big as many of the T-Nation men. I try to set goals appropriate for me considering the objectives listed above. It is my time now and I am enjoying the ability to dedicate more time to exercise. I don’t know if this helps.

Jilly,

I’ve read a lot of your posts and admire you very much.

Balance is so important in our lives; not just physical, but spiritual and emotional as well.

Like Yo Mamma, my kids are older. My little birds have all flown the nest. I work from home now, so I have no excuses since I can make my own schedule. I am truly free and can pursue any goal. Once you reach 50, it’s true. You don’t give a rat’s ass about what others think. You’ve earned the right to be your own person, fully and completely.

I told my husband for years I’d start working out when I hit 50. Up until then, I was too busy with other stuff, and it wasn’t a priority. I was accomplishing other goals just as important to me… everything in it’s time. True to my word, I did exactly what I said, and even started my ‘after 50 plan’ a month before I even hit the big 5-OH.

I’ve always set attainable goals. I watch people all the time talking the talk, but not walking the walk. They pull excuses like rabbits out of a hat. When you truly set your mind to a goal, you can work miracles, but not until you are damned good and ready. No one can make you do anything; and if they do, your heart’s not in it, and you eventually fail.

Life has a tendency to get in the way of our goals sometimes, and it’s best to not beat yourself over slipping or even falling. Any goal you make is just a goal. Your ability to stick to it is where balance comes in. It’s much easier to stick to something if all the elements in your life are in harmony. If you slip from your goal, that goal can be made again later when you get yourself more balanced.

All the best to you, and sorry if all this sounds like some old bollox-talk. :wink: The one thing I’ve learned is to just keep simplifying your life. The older I get, the more layers of expectations I peel off, both my own and the ones others try to impose on me.

Micki

[quote]Jillybop wrote:
I was wondering what some of the more ‘mature’ of you think about your lifting and overall fitness and how it fits into your lives. How do you set goals and balance the effort you put into your lifting with the rest of your life?

But for now, I just want to be consistent, get stronger, train smart, etc. I know these are all good things, but they are not black & white, measurable, concrete goals.

Just wondering what those of you with families, responsibilities, etc. think about the topic in general and how you plan your training around it. Thanks!
[/quote]

consistency, training smart and getting stronger have been my summer goals, doing that. as far as balance, training comes first and everything else will fit around it or not. i’m 60 and have put this off to long for it to be second to anything other than a family emergency.

Hi Jilly,

One book that I really like and followed is Steven Covey’s book, FIRST THINGS FIRST. The main theme is that if you don?t plan out small incremental steps to your goalsand roles you play, your life will get filled up everything else with many things being unimportant.

His analogy is if you take a jar (your life) and fill it up with sand (daily things that come up) the jar is full. However if you put big rocks (incremental steps toward your goals and roles that are not urgent but are important) in first, then there is still room for sand to fill in the rest.

He goes on to give model about how to implement this on a consistent basis through weekly planning and defining roles you play such as parent, professional life, family member, community member, artist etc.

What I do is plan out goals quarterly. Some goals may be for a longer time frame like a few years, other may be 1 year or even 3 months. Then each week I print out a sheet of paper that has my roles listed on it with a statement under each stating the purpose. Under each role I try to write out 1 or 2 small things I?m going to do that week that under each role that aligns with my goals.

For example, you mentioned your were interested in powerlifting and strongman in the future. Maybe a role you want to take on would be strength athlete. You could set goals for powerlifitng and strongman to do your first competition in each by X date. You might set some intermediate goals to train with some powerlifters or get some strongman implements and train with them weekly. On a weekly basis under the role strength athlete, you might plan out an incremental step to make calls to 3 gyms to find out if powerlifters train there or you might plan to call 3 tractor tire places to find a free tire to bring home for flipping. You would also have other role such as spouse, daughter etc. You would also plan out tasks that further enhance that role. You don?t always need a specific goal to be working on for each role.

I find doing this creates a much richer life and allows me push myself to grow in many areas that I wouldn?t happen without conscious effort. There will be times when one role may dominate all other roles and that?s fine. Say you just had your first child, your other roles are going to take a back seat or say a person is doing their first bodybuilding competition in 8 weeks. This role will dominate their life. The key is with this framework it allows a person to truly be proactive and not just let life go by.

I’m too young for this forum, but this subject has been on my mind lately.

In the past couple years I got really into surfing and jiu-jitsu. Both those activities rekindled my passion for exercise.

After getting semi-proficient in jiu-jitsu, I realized that my legs were not strong enough and that motivated me to work on my squats.

After the same thing in surfing, I realized my anaerobic endurance was good but not great and so I worked hard on that aspect.

Sports are a good way to really point out any weaknesses you have, even though on paper it might be obvious.

Good luck! And great job on achieving your goals!

[quote]Jillybop wrote:
I was wondering what some of the more ‘mature’ of you think about your lifting and overall fitness and how it fits into your lives. How do you set goals and balance the effort you put into your lifting with the rest of your life?

I was reading the recap of what Charles Staley presented in the “Phoenix Rising” article about setting goals and it got me to thinking. I recently hit my body comp goal and am a little unsure about where to go from here. I am considering trying to compete in bodybuilding at some point down the line (when my kids are a little older), but am also interested in maybe powerlifting or strongman competitions. Basically just to have fun and keep things fresh.

But for now, I just want to be consistent, get stronger, train smart, etc. I know these are all good things, but they are not black & white, measurable, concrete goals.

Just wondering what those of you with families, responsibilities, etc. think about the topic in general and how you plan your training around it. Thanks!
[/quote]

G’day Jill… you’re a champ! You have really achieved a lot and inspired a lot of people with your posts in these pages.
To answer your topic, when I was employed it was a drag to try and fit in training sessions between work and family time. Now I’m retired at 41 and happily training according to the schedules set out in my downloaded programs by CW etc.

I see blokes my age at the beach and most of them look pregnant with a few chins, or they’re as skinny as toothpick with the wood shaved off. So I’m motivated by my success in not looking like a sloth.

I applaud your achievement of your current goals and I have no doubt that whatever you decide to take on as your next target, you’ll hit it like an arrow fired by Robin Hood. Moreover, you’ll do it with perfect balance. How do I know this? because you care enough to consider it in your plans.