Geesh! I’m having a hell of a time getting shit to post. I actually did reply three times to this post and got pissed at having to retype the lengthy post so I gave up.
Trying to remember the short version of what I wrote before… This is not normal - the whole no desire for months on end deal. Options to try: Switch birth control method/dose, full medical screen to rule out other organic issues, counselling - if she doesn’t like talking about it ask her how she’d feel if her lack of desire for sex and/or lack of desire to fix it drove you into the arms of another woman. That should slap some reality back into her head.
Blondeblue had a good point about how women can feel too stressed out by every day life and look on sex as yet another “chore”. I, like her, want to smack these women and clue them in to the fact that sex relaxes a person and puts other crap in perspective (it ain’t no big thang). But then, I suppose that’d only be true if the sex was satisfying. I’m not bagging on you here, but if she isn’t getting off (earth shaking, toe curling O’s) it’d be no wonder she’s not into it. I know a lot of women fake their O’s just to make the man feel like he’s good at what he does. It’s kind of hard for me to have a clear understanding of this since all I need to get off is something to grind on like a muscular leg…or the arm of a couch…or a barstool… But not many chicks are like that - she may be having difficulty. Dunno.
Anyway, back on topic. You asked if her giving it up even though she wasn’t really into it was a bad thing and why she’d throw that out to you. Well, there’s a difference between her saying “Get the fuck off me, asshole. Go rub one out in the shower for all I care, just don’t come near me with that thing” and her saying “I’m not really in the mood…but you can give me a back rub.” Situation One - don’t go there. If you coerce/nag/plead/guilt trip her at this point you are in effect saying you don’t give a shit about what she wants and you just want a warm wet hole. It’s almost a “date/relationship rape” type of thing. If she gives it up after making it this clear then she will certainly resent you and make you pay later in one way or another. Situation Two - This may be an open door for you to warm her up a bit with the back rub/foreplay and then see from there if she’s interested. Try it. If she is, you’re in like Flynn. If she still isn’t interested - see Situation One.