T Nation

Sen's Trip to the Can


#1

So, I'm sitting here at my desk in downtown Pittsburgh. Let me clarify, I'm sitting here on my chair. These fuckers really need to install more seating options in my office. It only makes sense that if I have to sit here all day I should have the option of a chair, couch or day-bed. If Cressey were here, he'd have kicked me in the noodle by now for me to fix my posture. Though, how someone kicking me in the noodle could fix my posture is beyond me.

Anyway, I gotta pee. I'll be getting on a toilet in a little while to pee and read TC's message from the sponsor. I'm going to the men's room down the hall. I've never been there before, but I've noticed a couple of hot interns down that way. Hopefully they won't notice TC's article rolled up in my pants pocket and think I'm weird. Maybe they'll think I have an 8 and a half by 11 inch wang. Ha ha.

I've packed a shitton of bathing suits, T-shirts, a couple of pairs of shorts, some underwear, a tube of sunscreen, a camera and a pair of flip flops. No telling if we'll have a bomb scare or fire drill while I'm out of my office going down the hall to the can, so I wanna be prepared.

Anyway, I'm going to be keeping a travel blog here on T-Nation just like Ryan did when he went to Thailand and like Push did when he went to Texas. Unlike the one I'm going to show my mom, and a few of the prisses that live where I come from, this one will be a no bullshit blog. Hopefully I'll end up doing some cool stuff while I'm in the men's room so that I'll be able to report back here and not look like a massive tool.

Okay. Gotta run for now. Bladder is very full.


#2

Too late.


#3

The walk down the hallway sucked thus far. When I set foot out of my office I was accosted by my secretary. She wanted to know if she could have the afternoon off. Whatever. I dont' care...I just have to pee. I'm wearing a blue suit with a very subtle checked pattern, a white shirt with purple, orange, light blue and yellow stripes (it looks a lot better than it sounds) and a blue tie with orange fish. Don't congratulate me on my eye for fashion..I just buy whatever they've put on the mannequin.

The lack of talent in the hallway isn't surprising. I work in Pittsburgh for God's sake. I guess it'd be nice to have some eye-candy as you make your way to the can, but it's not for me I guess.

Right now, there are three people waiting in the bathroom line. There is no way I'm waiting. I'm trying to decide between going up or down a floor or staying on this floor and heading further down the hall. I guess I'll head further down the hall as I'm bulking today and don't wanna waste any calories.


#4

bullshit! We need video


#5

Watch out for syphilis.

And flying barstools.

Some of those places just off the hallway can be pretty nasty.


#6

I just want to tell you good luck. We're all counting on you.


#7

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


#8

Dude, blowing your male co-workers does not make you cool, just the office whore. For that you will look like a tool, but hey, if your boss is a regular you may get a raise :).


#9

i thought i read sen's trip to canada...

anyways, sneak into the girls restroom and don't make a mess.


#10

...sitting down to pee?


#11

Hey Gang, sorry for the hiatus. I was walking down the hallway to the can by the mailroom when I tripped. It was horrible. TC's Word From Our Sponsor article flew out of my pocket and up into the air and blinded me and I tried to throw my hands out to brace my fall, but my big, calloused palm landed on the aforementioned article and slid and I whacked my head.

What happened next is very hazy still, but I'll try to fill you in. Anyone that can help me determine if this was a hallucination would be my best friend for life.

As I lay on my back wondering if I was dead or alive, TC appeared to me with his wife and a picnic made up of burgers from 5 Guys. Mrs. Luoma spread out a red-checked table cloth and the three of us sat down in the middle of the hallway not 100 yards from the men's room I was making my way to when I had my spill.

In between mouthfuls of ground beef, cheese, all the fixin's and some cajun fries, TC spoke these words to me:

"You are going on a great journey. Pass the ketchup. On your way to the can you will see many strange things. What you seek, you will not find. What you have, you will not lose. More fries honey? What you don't have, you will not find, unless you do. Damn I like mayo on my burgers a LOT ! Do not forget Sen Say that the point of a journey to the can is not to arrive."

With those words TC and Meesus TC stood up, shook my hand, wiped my mouth with a napkin and departed. I found myself feeling like I had just had one of the best meals of my life, but I still had to pee.

The journey continues...


#12

Just curious sen say, where are you REALLY from? In the past two months, your location has changed from Argentina to Hawaii to Pittsburgh. That's a lotta moving for a short amount of time.


#13

At this point in my trip, I have to pee so bad my left knee hurts.

Last night as I was making my way to the men's room I could see it off in the distance, like heat coming off a West Texas Road on a really hot day in a really, really, hot month. Then....just over the horizon, I saw a gang of Morrocans. Dam Morrocans. I knew I was going to get hit with brass knuckles if I tried using that particular men's room, so I quickly made a move to my left and ducked into the stairwell.

Sweet relief lay 10 feet above me and approximately 50 feet to the North of my office. Pray God I make it.

Semper Pee Boys.


#14

I had been worried about the fact that you still hadn't made it to the can. I'm glad to see you are still on your journey. Good luck with that.


#15


I made it to the top of the stairs. Cracked the door. Peeked into the hallway. Coast...clear. Tippy Toeing, crouching next to the wall, left hand fingertips caressing the floor anticipating tremors of approaching Morrocans....If ONLY it was the Morrocans...right before my eyes a Siren singing the sweetiest melody my hawkearsi5 have ever heard and me with no wax to stopper my aforementioned hawkears...thinking quickly I hit myself in the throat before I could answer the siren's call and never again return to my office. Luckily I didn't crush my own windpipe, but did succeed in ringing my own bell thereby drowning out the Siren. Jump to the ground like a turbo crowd, race back to the stairwell to dream of a successful trip to the can on my next foray.

Siren is pictured above for those that doubt the truthfulness of my odyssey to date.


#16

Epic. A tale of sorrow, loss, anger, and the rapidly increasing urge to pee...

Classic sen say. Will we have another update before you reach home, or will you be sidetracked by natives before reaching your house?


#17

I didn't know sirens were douches with goatees...


#18

Fucking assholes.


#19

Ryan...I apologize if you saw this thread as a 'goof' on your thread. I wasn't trying to do that.

I've been following your Thailand thread and think what you're doing is extremely cool.

Once again, sincere apologies if you took this as a stab at you.


#20

Anyone have the link to Ryan’s thread?