I have just began my trt journey. I am 38 years old I have been training on and off for about 15 years and I am currently around 225 at 20% bf. Last fall I were down to closer to 14 ish but I got hurt and it took me off my feet for about a month and it were another month before I could get back to the gym.
In years past I experimented with steroids and made some obvious mistakes ie I have some gyno lumps in my right pec. My first cycle were 250 sus every week for 1 month (yes I know) but interestingly enough, that “cycle” I felt like a new person, even know I didnt run it anywhere long enough or know anything about what I were doing etc etc the results were still like magic for me.
I probably did 3 or 4 more cycles each with much more care and understanding but all in all terrible really.
I have not done any steroids in over 8 years however a year or so ago I realized that my test was in the crapper. I experimented with 25 mg clomid everyday for about 6 weeks and all in all felt pretty great. For me when I get my test pushed up I feel as though I am on speed, not jittery but just very much alive and hyper feeling.
Since getting hurt and returning to the gym my cardio has been horrible, Im weak as a 10 year old girl, I hurt all over, and I cannot seem to generate any explosive power, its as if someone turned the gas off. I were listening to a podcast where the guest was a dr.Mark Gordon who specializes hormones but particularly the effects of head trauma on hormone balance.
When I were a child, I had probably 5-8 legit concussions (vomiting memory issues etc) and were always super skinny kid, not very athletic, super high anxiety etc. So, this got the wheels spinning on getting things checked out.
I started courting some trt clinics and instead of paying any of them anything, I got a physical, went and had blood drawn for a complete panel yesterday and will go from there. I havent felt comfortable with writing down my CC # and releasing it to an unknown, that just seems weird, and not smart.
I feel down,sluggish, and Im self employed at home and even know I am in a very competitive biz, im comfortable with just hanging out and cringe when the phone rings. I train at one of the best xfit gym in the south east with tons of great people and excellent coaches, and I almost cant bring myself to go as of late. It is so painful and soul crushing, that I dont even want to show up.
I really want to feel like a strong hyperactive go getter again. Its weird that when you know youre doing everything wrong and continue to do it anyway as if thats actually a plan.
When I have my actual labs in I will post them up.
Edit: add in the other particulars
-describe body and facial hair; dark course and rapid growing
-describe where you carry fat and how changed; Gut and lower back
-health conditions, symptoms [history] Lethargic, slow recovery, poor cardio, terrible stamina, muscle pains
-describe diet; I mostly eat paleo and eat pretty clean 70% of the time. The other time I will go on sugar binges that i know are crazy.
-describe training: Currently training corssfit 3x/wk
-testes ache, ever; with a fever? Any time I get the flu or a cold my balls ache first.
-how have morning wood and nocturnal erections changed; Been mostly none in the last couple months. I can get hard but im not exactly into it.