Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam’s chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the First button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face.
Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he’s finally had enough, knowing that he can’t do much without them functioning well. “I’m going back home!” he tells the Iraqi. “We’ll finish these talks in two weeks!”
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge. They begin talking and Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. George snickers. A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.
“Forget this,” says Saddam. “I’m going back to Baghdad!”
Dubya says through tears of laughter, “What Baghdad?”
How’s this one?.. It is the year 2030. A man is walking in New York with his son. They walk past a huge park in New York City. In the middle of the park is a plaque dedicting the area to the memory of the World Trade Center and all those who were casualties on September 11. The little boy loooks up to his father and says, “Dad… what’s the World Trade Center?” His father replies with all the greatness that the building stood for and it’s incredible height. And then he saddens and says, “On September 11, 2001 some Arabs came and destroyed the magnificant buildings…” The son looks up to his father in confusion and says, “Dad… what are ARABS?”
A Canadian, Osama Bin Laden, and George Bush are all lost together, wandering through the desert. As they meander along, they stumble across a lamp. They clean it off and, with a great billow of smoke, out soars a magical genie. “Thank you so much for freeing me from that horrible prison,” the Genie proclaims. “As a sign of my gratitude, I will grant each of you one wish!”
The Canadian thinks for just a moment and then begins, “Well, you see, I am a farmer. My father and his father before him were farmers and I hope that one day my sons will follow in these footsteps and become farmers as well. So my wish is that the land of Canada always be fertile and bountiful.”
“Easy enough,” says the Genie,“So be it.” and the wish was granted. Osama bin Laden was the next to proceed. “I want a great wall to be erected around my great country of Afghanistan to forever protect us from the evil, blasphemous American infidels!” The Genie replied “So be it, your wish is granted. Now President Bush, what is your wish?”
“Well, before I get to that, would you please tell me more about this wall, it sounds quite interesting!” “Oh, it is a beaut! My finest work,” begins the Genie,“It is 15,000 feet high and 500 feet wide and absolutely inpenetrable. Nothing will be able to get in and nothing will be able to get out. Now what is your wish?”
“Fill that fucking wall with water!”
This will probally only be funny for canadians, but…As all of you I’m sure know, the war against terrorism is on, not only in Afghanistan, but all over the world, special forces are seeking out Osama bin Laden’s terrorist cells. They’ve been especially successful in Newfoundland, where they have rounded up bin drinkin’, bin fishin’ and bin sleepin’, but they haven’t managed to find bin workin’…
