T Nation

Sad Sign of The Fall of Man...

Well, I’ve been used to helping my mother open jars and bottles for a number of years, but today I was recruited because none of the college guys in the room could uncork a bottle of wine. Two different times. I hate the current state of “manhood”. Makes me want to backhand all of them.

your a jackass

The fall of man.

[quote]Aragorn wrote:
Well, I’ve been used to helping my mother open jars and bottles for a number of years, but today I was recruited because none of the college guys in the room could uncork a bottle of wine. Two different times. I hate the current state of “manhood”. Makes me want to backhand all of them.[/quote]

Yea - that’s pretty lame. Hell, how can you not know how to uncork a bottle of wine? Shit…

Were they under 21?

Probably because they usually drink beer like real men instead of wine.

You make us all proud with this amazing feat of strength.

[quote]Aragorn wrote:
Well, I’ve been used to helping my mother open jars and bottles for a number of years, but today I was recruited because none of the college guys in the room could uncork a bottle of wine. Two different times. I hate the current state of “manhood”. Makes me want to backhand all of them.[/quote]

A real man uses a saber to take the neck of the bottle off, not a corkscrew.

[quote]adziar wrote:
Probably because they usually drink beer like real men instead of wine.[/quote]

No shit. What kind of sissy ass fairy princess skirt wearing Nancies drink wine in college? Where do you go to school? Do you need to fuck their girlfriends for them too?

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
Aragorn wrote:
Well, I’ve been used to helping my mother open jars and bottles for a number of years, but today I was recruited because none of the college guys in the room could uncork a bottle of wine. Two different times. I hate the current state of “manhood”. Makes me want to backhand all of them.

A real man uses a saber to take the neck of the bottle off, not a corkscrew.[/quote]

That only works with champagne…

When I was in college I used to push the cork into the bottle with my thumb - nothing to do with being a man, it’s just that you’ve got to adapt. In college you rarely have access to cork openers, or fresh milk or bottle openers for that matter - so now I can open wine bottles with my thumb, I grew to like black coffee & I can open a beer bottle with virtually anything (including an empty beer bottle).

They just love me at parties (well, cheap-ass parties anyway).

Are you telling me these pussies couldn’t unscrew the cap?

wow, whenever we drank wine in college it was usually out of a box. Although I do remember trying to use a drill in leu of a corkscrew once. Drilled out the cork, poured the wine through a coffee filter to get rid of all the little bits of cork. Worked pretty well, and I felt rather McGuyverish doing it.

[quote]Aragorn wrote:
I hate the current state of “manhood”. Makes me want to backhand all of them.[/quote]

Well…why didn’t you just beat the shit out of them.
Hit em over the head with the wine bottle.

Next time I bet they’d think twice before calling you to help them.

Two buck chuck is an excellent value for a poor college student. 750ml at 15% for two dollars is hard to beat. Of course there’s more of a limit on how much can be downed at once because of the sweetness, but a bottle per person can make a good supplement to a night you won’t remember.

What yall know about thunderbird and kool aid?

[quote]carter12 wrote:
What yall know about thunderbird and kool aid?

[/quote]

You’ll have to brake for hallucinations.

[quote]Bad John wrote:
Are you telling me these pussies couldn’t unscrew the cap?[/quote]

Christ I remember those days…when I was a broke ass, we used to get forties for a buck fifty and those gigantic bottle of Carla Rosi for like 5 bucks…you’d drink half the forty and fill it back up with the carla rosi, I think we called it “blood juice” or something similarly stupid…if you could drink two of those in one night you would be ridiculously drunk. Come to think of it, one of those would get you drunk, two would put you under.

My proudest moment, and I’m sure it ranks high on my mom’s proudest moments of her son, was the time I beer-bonged two Hurricane malt liquor forties…I puked it all straight back up because the pressure in my stomach was waaaay too much…cleanest puke of my life, all foam

Like the poster above wrote, buy a big-ass bottle of Carlo Rossi. Or, you can always go with some Mad Dog 20/20. No corks, damn near no cost, and a helluva buzz.

[quote]Aragorn wrote:
Well, I’ve been used to helping my mother open jars and bottles for a number of years, but today I was recruited because none of the college guys in the room could uncork a bottle of wine. Two different times. I hate the current state of “manhood”. Makes me want to backhand all of them.[/quote]

Everywhere I go, I (used to) get nominated for this job. When my wife and I were still dating, her parents got new granite countertops and I was asked to open the bottles of wine at Thanksgiving. Wouldn’t you know it, one of the later bottles was much easier to open than the others and apparently the corner of at least one wine bottle is harder than granite.

Fortunately, my father-in-law knows people who know people and he got the counters fixed, even more fortunately, I don’t get asked to open bottles in their house anymore. I learned several good lessons that day.