T Nation

Rules We All Agree On


The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth

  1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

  2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

  3. When in another's lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

  4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

  5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

  6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

  7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

  8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

  9. Do not harm little children.

  10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

  11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

The Nine Satanic Sins

  1. Stupidity--The top of the list for Satanic Sins. The Cardinal Sin of Satanism. It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends on people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. Satanists must learn to see through the tricks and cannot afford to be stupid.

  2. Pretentiousness--Empty posturing can be most irritating and isn't applying the cardinal rules of Lesser Magic. On equal footing with stupidity for what keeps the money in circulation these days. Everyone's made to feel like a big shot, whether they can come up with the goods or not.

  3. Solipsism--Can be very dangerous for Satanists. Projecting your reactions, responses and sensibilities onto someone who is probably far less attuned than you are. It is the mistake of expecting people to give you the same consideration, courtesy and respect that you naturally give them. They won't. Instead, Satanists must strive to apply the dictum of "Do unto others as they do unto you." It's work for most of us and requires constant vigilance lest you slip into a comfortable illusion of everyone being like you. As has been said, certain utopias would be ideal in a nation of philosophers, but unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, from a Machiavellian standpoint) we are far from that point.

  4. Self-deceit--It's in the "Nine Satanic Statements" but deserves to be repeated here. Another cardinal sin. We must not pay homage to any of the sacred cows presented to us, including the roles we are expected to play ourselves. The only time self-deceit should be entered into is when it's fun, and with awareness. But then, it's not self-deceit!

  5. Herd Conformity--That's obvious from a Satanic stance. It's all right to conform to a person's wishes, if it ultimately benefits you. But only fools follow along with the herd, letting an impersonal entity dictate to you. The key is to choose a master wisely instead of being enslaved by the whims of the many.

  6. Lack of Perspective--Again, this one can lead to a lot of pain for a Satanist. You must never lose sight of who and what you are, and what a threat you can be, by your very existence. We are making history right now, every day. Always keep the wider historical and social picture in mind. That is an important key to both Lesser and Greater Magic. See the patterns and fit things together as you want the pieces to fall into place. Do not be swayed by herd constraints--know that you are working on another level entirely from the rest of the world.

  7. Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies--Be aware that this is one of the keys to brainwashing people into accepting something new and different, when in reality it's something that was once widely accepted but is now presented in a new package. We are expected to rave about the genius of the creator and forget the original. This makes for a disposable society.

  8. Counterproductive Pride--That first word is important. Pride is great up to the point you begin to throw out the baby with the bathwater. The rule of Satanism is: if it works for you, great. When it stops working for you, when you've painted yourself into a corner and the only way out is to say, I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I wish we could compromise somehow, then do it.

  9. Lack of Aesthetics--This is the physical application of the Balance Factor. Aesthetics is important in Lesser Magic and should be cultivated. It is obvious that no one can collect any money off classical standards of beauty and form most of the time so they are discouraged in a consumer society, but an eye for beauty, for balance, is an essential Satanic tool and must be applied for greatest magical effectiveness. It's not what's supposed to be pleasing--it's what is. Aesthetics is a personal thing, reflective of one's own nature, but there are universally pleasing and harmonious configurations that should not be denied.


  1. Stratification--The point on which all the others ultimately rest. There can be no more myth of "equality" for all--it only translates to "mediocrity" and supports the weak at the expense of the strong. Water must be allowed to seek its own level without interference from apologists for incompetence. No one should be protected from the effects of his own stupidity.

  2. Strict taxation of all churches--If churches were taxed for all their income and property, they'd crumble overnight of their own obsolescence, and the National Debt would be wiped out as quickly. The productive, the creative, the resourceful should be subsidized. So long as the useless and incompetent are getting paid, they should be heavily taxed.

  3. No tolerance for religious beliefs secularized and incorporated into law and order issues--to re-establish "Lex Talionis" would require a complete overturning of the present in-justice system based on Judeo-Christian ideals, where the victim/defender has been made the criminal. Amnesty should be considered for anyone in prison because of his alleged "influence" upon the actual perpetrator of the crime. Everyone is influenced in what he or she does. Scapegoating has become a way of life, a means of survival for the unfit. As an extension of the Judeo-Christian cop-out of blaming the Devil for everything, criminals can gain leniency, even praise, by placing the blame on a convenient villain. Following the Satanic creed of "Responsibility to the responsible," in a Satanic society, everyone must experience the consequences of his own actions--for good or ill.

  4. Development and production of artificial human companions--The forbidden industry. An economic "godsend" which will allow everyone "power" over someone else. Polite, sophisticated, technologically feasible slavery. And the most profitable industry since T.V. and the computer.

  5. The opportunity for anyone to live within a total environment of his or her choice, with mandatory adherence to the aesthetic and behavioral standards of same--Privately owned, operated and controlled environments as an alternative to homogenized and polyglot ones. The freedom to insularize oneself within a social milieu of personal well-being. An opportunity to feel, see, and hear that which is most aesthetically pleasing, without interference from those who would pollute or detract from that option.


You have many good ideas there, what do your good ideas have to do with Satan?


These are the preachings of my Church.


You make some good points. At least 95% of the people in all countrys only think and do what they are told to.

What exactly do you mean with "Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires."


What Pitt said. I have come mostly to the same 'rules' via books and experience.

Weak women are quick to call me 'unpleasant', 'cold', or 'boring' because I don't fall in their co-dependent, whiner traps. I refuse to validate, and even less, enable such self-made victims. Call me evil.


What if my buddy is complaining about his overly full nut sack?


Mr. Chill has it right your Preaching is in line with the Christian Church.


Bite your tongue.


I mean if you pray to some god and your prayers are answered, don't turn your back on him later. If you follow some ritual before shooting your freethrow, don't later pretend you don't believe in magic. If you don't step on the cracks and your mom doesn't break her back, acknowledge the power of the sidewalk god.


No seriously I would like to convert but I am stuck on this whole, might have to take semen from a guy bit???


Be at ease.

Rule 6 states only when it is acceptable to take from another, not when it is mandatory to do so.

Choosing to take semen from a guy is a purely personal choice in my church. I don't understand it, but I won't condemn you for it either.


Ok so as long as that is cleared up, I did not wish to be put into a difficult situation, well I expected your arrival to our mortal coil to be a lot more dramatic than a post on a bodybuilders web site but never mind

So when are all the freaks gonna get dear lord?




IMO, we should ammend #11;


  1. When squatting in an open rack, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.