BEGIN RANT
All right. I’m pissed off. Lately I’ve seen a lot of shit that I’m not happy with, both on this forum and in “real life”. Here are a few general guidelines that a few inconsiderate assholes have forgotten.
1. Women are not to be referred to as bitches. That female that you casually refer to as a “bitch” is someone’s sister, mother, girlfriend or wife. Treat them accordingly. There are exceptions, however. They can earn the title of “bitch” by either (a) cheating on you, (b) stealing your car, or (c) selling your guns to a pawn shop while you’re out of town. Until then, treat them like a lady.
2. Don’t leave your garbage lying around for others to pick up. You’re grown. Pick it up your damn self. Some kid left his Burger King wrapper on a bookshelf in the mall tonight. I tracked him down and told him that unless he was a very tall six year-old, he had no excuse. Tonight was only the second time in my life that a younger person has called me “sir”. It felt good.
3. Pull your pants up. I don’t care how cool your friends think it looks, if your crotch hangs down to your knees, you look like a fucking moron. In twenty years, you’ll look back at pictures of yourself and wonder why you ever thought it was a good idea. While you’re at it, spin that baseball cap around.
4. Cell phones are NOT to be used while driving, unless you have a hands-free unit. Most people can’t drive for shit without the added distraction. Also, if you bring a cell phone into a theater or a nice restaurant, do everyone a favor and turn the ringer off. If you absolutely must make or take a call, go to the bathroom. Unless you’re the President or Donald Trump, it can wait.
5. There is absolutely no excuse for treating a waitress, waiter, or any other service person abusively. They bust their asses catering to unrealistically demanding people for shit pay. So you don’t like your meal? Then by all means, send it back, but don’t be a prick about it. One rule that I have incorporated into my life: I never piss off the people that serve me my food and drink. Think about that one for a second.
6. If you paid attention to #3 and #4 and turned your baseball cap around and turned off the cell phone before entering that restaurant, good for you. Now, before you go inside, take the baseball cap off.
7. Respect your elders. They’ve been around longer than you.
8. No matter your political affiliation, respect and thank military veterans. It is because of them that you have the freedom to burn the flag, protest wars, and generally shit on this country in the first place. A lot of them, because of what they have seen and done, don’t particularly like America either. But they fought for her so that you could live as you do, and that’s all that matters.
9. Speaking of the flag, if you’re going to display it, please learn how to do so properly. It is not to be flown at night without proper lighting, is not to touch the ground, and should always be folded properly before putting it away. A lot of good men have died so that you can fly that piece of cloth. Please do it correctly and with the proper respect.
10. Remember rule #1? Okay, add these ones to it: Homosexuals are not “fags” any more than blacks are “niggers”, Jews are “kikes”, Mexicans are “spics”, or Italians are “wops”. Treat everyone as you would be treated yourself (now I KNOW I’ve heard that somewhere before).
11. Finally, allow an Irishman to rant. He needs it once in a while. Especially when he misses his woman.
END RANT
And remember, not only was Mr. Murphy an Irishman, but he was optimist.