T Nation

Round 2 Lifting

Hey everyone. I made a new account because I was in active addiction while I was managing my old one. I have 42 days of clean time from all substances behind me today and I even quit smoking cigarettes/vaping. Therefore, I’m sober and lifting - this is round #2.

At any rate, I’m 5’9", 180 pounds. Haven’t squatted since the gym started enforcing masks, rather I’ve been deadlifting pretty exclusively. I’m ready to start again with everyone here, even though you all know me as the crazy fuck that rants online. I apologize for my previous account, I don’t remember most of what I said nor do I want to. I was…bad. But I’m getting better day by day and I’m lifting weights again, which helps with the bipolar depression I still experience. Going to make things stick this time around.

Workout #1 after 3 months hiatus:


135 x 5
225 x 3
275 x 3
315 x 11 (dead-stop beltless PR)

355 x 2 (stiff-legged rep #2 and I have sore erectors, but the heavier reps felt good, and my back will adapt)

That’s all I did today, just wanted to test the waters and I’m happy I am still fairly strong.

Missed everyone here but I wasn’t in a good enough mental space to post. Will call this log to the attention of @j4gga2 @T3hPwnisher @flappinit @EmilyQ @strongmanbrett for yet another go around the block.

Sorry if I forgot you, I hope the word spreads that I’m no longer a supremely negative influence on this community. I have said some pretty fucked up shit on these forums for no reason at all, but they have me reasonably stable and complete sobriety helps that along. Glad to be back in the game, it felt really great to lift weights and have breath in my lungs today.


I’d be phenomenally surprised if anyone thought that’s what you were.

I’m glad you’re here.


Don’t apologize, for any of it. We all know you as the strong kid who worked his ass off.

Glad to see you back.


Glad to have you back in it brother

Not a bit, I see someone who’s trying to figure shit out.

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Good to be here and lifting again for sure.

@Chris_Colucci it is good to be back and not worrying about my prior post history! Glad to be here, I needed a fresh start though.

@flappinit Thanks for the support, happy to have a log and the motivation to lift weights today.

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Great to see you around dude. Keep killing it!


It’s so nice to be looking at workout programs now that I don’t have cigarettes as the lone monkey on my back…

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Exactly. Chris speaks for me when he doubts people view you as negative. Hurting? Yes. An asshole, no. Welcome back!



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Seeing everyone’s overwhelming support is definitely reinforcing the idea that I am way too hard on myself, I’ll try to give myself a break.


@T3hPwnisher will be delighted to hear that I’m now stuck doing axle lifts exclusively.

My barbell finally said goodbye today. Was doing empty bar good mornings with it and the right sleeve fell off the bar. The screws inside are broken/rusty and the knurling was practically nonexistent when I got the cheap piece of shit from Modell’s 3 years ago, but that bar has seen me through a few big personal records. I’m sad to see it go.

On the bright side, now I am going to wear a belt and straps.

Workout Today - Pumping Blood

Good Mornings

45, 65, 75 x 10


45, 65, 75 x 10

Barbell Curls

45, 65 x 10
75 x 15

I moved blood into my back/hamstrings today, and that’s about all I did. Now to frantically search for a program that emphasizes the terror of the axle deadlift. Any suggestions from the crowd? I don’t particularly feel like re-testing a rep max next week using an axle bar, but I guess I might have to.


I mean I’d be more than willing to write programming for you brotha!

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Goddamn it you got seriously fucking strong. Look at you killing this shit. I’ll listen to whatever programming you write down, I remember back when we were neck and neck 2 years ago LOL.

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Progress update, I guess: They have me on a lot of medications (namely 200 mg Seroquel, 1200 mg Gabapentin, and 300 mg Lithium) that make me sleep-eat and stay ready to nap all day. Moreover my mood swings aren’t really much better, but I am stable enough to not self-harm as much as I used to.

Unsurprisingly, I am not quite as explosive when I hit the weights as I used to be before I started taking those medications 8-9 months ago.

I also am no longer in college with a scholarship because active addiction made me fail out + concurrent brain fog from the Seroquel when I got clean.

Currently looking for a job hauling trash or working with Sanitation, as my intellect is pretty much gone until I get it back with time.

I slur a lot of words and can’t seem to come up with many of the concepts that made me money as a freelance writer either. When I speak, I don’t speak very eloquently. Interviews are out of the question for now.

About the only thing I have going for me right now is that I’m not using drugs and drinking, but I did the rest to myself. Hopefully shit improves with time, but sometimes I’m not so sure it will. Idk. Sucks to be limited by factors beyond my control.

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You’re probably the strongest dude I know. Things will definitely improve.

@strongmanbrett Is sure to get you in the right way with programming. In the interim, you got axle deads and presses: those two movements are going to make you brutally strong. Lots of nuts to crack with that programming. Could just 5/3/1 it up or do some Deep Water stuff with what you got.


Time to go full west side and weld it back together and weld 2 45’s on each side!

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Welcome back.
Pure axle work sounds like an interesting training plan. Your grip will be gorilla strong in no time.

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Definitely reach out to me via. social media if possible! or private message me and we can get cracking on that ASAP bro!

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@T3hPwnisher I have faith in myself today, which is a switch from a while back. I overcame a lot of obstacles to get to where I’m sitting here typing this reply today, but yeah. I need to let myself be unproductive I think.

@wanna_be The barbell isn’t worth soldering my weight plates to it! Has no knurling…commercial gym barbells far outclass the barbell I’ve been lifting with forever.

@cyclonengineer I plan to do grip work using the axle, but for my working sets and rep counts I will be using straps so as to tax the muscle groups I’m looking to tax (basically, everything else besides my grip).

@strongmanbrett I’ll have to make a new Instagram account…I deleted Snapchat and Reddit and Instagram and Discord a while ago.