OK dude I am going to just put this out there.
Me, you, cigarette butts, stars. We are all just billion year old carbon, we are carbon and we do not die, we just stop knowing we are carbon.
We merely cease to have consciousness and live on forever. We are part of a living, ever changing infinity.
The universe is so infinite, this thread on this forum has happened infinite times before in other places, that is how infinite we are.
So somewhere, you are still a kid and your grandad is still busy loving you and being your universe.
I always feel unafraid of death or even sad at my loved family members passing away when I listen to Hawk, N.D Tyson etc.
If we are infinitely occurring in infinite galaxies in the exact same order as we are now we never die, your grandad lives and your connection with him is immortal.
If that did not help, I am sending my love to you and recommend realizing you have a wife who loves you, you are a confident, vibrant man who tries to help strangers and is in touch with his feelings enough to write this thread.
How about you change the title of this thread to jbpick; how to win at being a person.