T Nation


AHHHHHHHHHH!!! I can’t stand dumbass roommates!!! It just pisses me off sooooo bad. Ok, we have a one level, 4 bedroom place, living room and kitchen in the middle, 2 bathrooms. Ok, so this one dumbass HOGS EVERYTHING. I’m talkin fridge, beer, living room, everything. We told him not to bring an extra couch down because we already had one. Guess what, he brought it down. We told him not to bring down an entertainment center. Guess what, he brought it down. How dense is that?

We have a dishwasher, albeit a small one. How fucking retarded do you have to be to not know to put things in it? I mean shit, they’ll just put stuff in the sink while the dishwasher is EMPTY!! Goddammit it makes me so damn mad.

We have 1 vacuum. I think I’m only one in 2 YEARS, 2 FREAKIN YEARS here that has vacuumed the living room. How damn lazy is that? If I didn’t dust once/week, there would be 4 inches of dust in there.

The nastiest thing yet - one roomie has allergies. The other day, I’m chillin in my room. I hear him sneeze, look out into the living room, and guess what the dumb fuck is doing?? He was wiping his hand on the couch and his nose on the pillow, RIGHT AFTER SNOTTIN ALL OVER HIS HAND. AGHHHHH!!!

Jesus, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out how to not be fucking disgusting. How hard is it to be clean???

Thanks for letting me vent. Anybody else got funny ass roomie stories?

I can relate to some extent. I had one roommate who had horrible credit would write bad checks and would give creditors my home # and not his. I could of strangled his ass. But the best was my friends house I went into his roomates bathroom and the weirdo would wipe his ass with papertowels and throw it on the floor. I almost threw up. What the fuck was he thinking. Fuckin sicko. Also had two roomates one would gring a drunk chick home and turn out all the lights in the house. Then he would get her doggie style and the other guy would come in and switch hit on her. Now that one is funny.

Have you seen Full Metal Jacket? If you weren’t in the minority you could try that old soap in a sock deal. Invite some friends over late one night…

I feel your pain man !! I was living with a guy who before I lived with him was a good friend. We lived in a place that was always kept perfectly clean and when I say perfectly I mean hospital standards. It was kept this way because he was obsessed with cleaning and would clean things before they were even dirty. This I couldn’t give a fuck about but he would then complain that I never cleaned. The thing is why the hell should I clean something if its not dirty yet… just because he is so fuckin anally obsessed with cleaning doesn’t mean I should be. Furthermore he was the biggest whinging bitch I had ever had the misfortune of living with! eg In summer he would have the air-conditioner running flat out 24/7 because he’s a fuckin sook about the heat. I on the other hand love the heat and would rather have a door or window open, but if he wants the a/c on then I couldn’t give a shit ( by the way he had a small portable a/c in his bedroom that he ran all night as well). This was all fine until one day he complained because I was using the clothes dryer and I should be mindful about the fact that he was paying half the electricity bill!!! I was totally dumbfounded and started looking for a new place. By the way I could go on forever about this prick but I actually think I’ve already wasted enough time talking about him…thank god I’m out. I hate fucking whinging cry baby sooks who make an issue out of everything!!

Shit yeah, I’ve seen that soap deal. That stuff would hurt like hell!!

Dude, tag teaming a chick. What a way to spread SARS, since it is linked to Gonorrhea

What perfect timing. My adrenaline is pumping so bad right now that I took 3 wrong streets coming home. I just moved out with my girl and my passive aggressive ex-roommate is living proof of the estrogenic effects of dope and alcohol. This guy is the biggest bitch I’ve ever met. I moved out cuz the utilities got shut off. He claims it was because I was a week late paying him the rent. How dumb does this fucker think I am? They don’t shut your gas off unless you’re like 4 months behind…people freeze to death without heat. Then this bush has the nerve to offer me his old broken down washer and dryer for 100 bucks. I’m thinking, hmmm…the appliance store charges $45 to dispose of it for you, but you’re going to actually charge me $100. What kind of shit is that?
Then the little bitch tells me “oh it’s cool man, no hurry getting the rest of your stuff out.” He knows I work and go to school, and it’s not on the top of my priority list, especially if he says no hurry. Then I go over yesterday and my shit is out on the front porch. We lived in the hood, so basically that’s like giving it away. Motherfucker I’m so goddamn pissed off I could choke him and his fat ass smelly vegetarian hippie artsy fartsy bitch girlfriend. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Call my damn cell phone one more time and leave another message asking me when I’m going to come and get my stuff. Well, I told the piece of shit to go ahead and throw away my stuff tomorrow and see what happens. I guess I’d be pissed too if I had a nasty ass girlfriend, a hyooge beer gut, no future, and smelled like a fromunda cheese.
Ok I feel better now, maybe it’s the Molson. Any advice on how to deal with passive-aggressive types?

You guys make me not want to get a roommate… UGH!

A) I hate my roomate
B) He stays up until 6 in the morning sitting in the living room, doing nothing(see him when i get up to piss)
C) He sleeps in till at least 4 pm every day
D)He brings over stinky arabic friends. I am not saying all arabic people stink. But he and his friends do.
E) If it wasn;t illegal I would kill him with a shovel
f)He used to bring this one girl over, she would stay the night, eat his food, and he wouldn;t sleep with her
G) If I had a shovel in my hands right now I would kill him despite it being illegal
H)I only have to days left of living with him so I am very happy and probably can last two more days without killing him
i) That is all
:slight_smile: Groove

“We have a dishwasher, albeit a small one. How fucking retarded do you have to be to not know to put things in it? I mean shit, they’ll just put stuff in the sink while the dishwasher is EMPTY!! Goddammit it makes me so damn mad.”

Holy shit, we have the same roommates! I don’t know why, but that makes me furious. My other pet peeve is them filling up the goddamn trash can until it is overflowing with stinking garbage. Then I come home and slide open the top and garbage falls out the top of the trash can.

I like saving money on rent, but I am afraid that another year of this would cause a heart attack or something. Can’t wait for a nice new single!

Get a webcam and try to make a profit out of that slob. Eventually, he’ll do front pages somewhere. Maybe, just MAYBE, then he’ll change. Even if it doesn’t, you could do a buck and get ‘support’ from the feedback. LOL

I have a few stories. I one roomate who was a complete dirt-bag. Nice guy, just a dirt-bag. He would clip his toe nails and leave the nails on the living room floor for crying out loud!!! I also lived with two girls for two years and they got another guy to move in for one semester who just happned to be one of my girlfriends EX boyfriends whom she hated. So I had to live with a guy who before me slept with my girlfriend which was kinda awkward. Not to mention he was a complete jag-off. He hit my car with his SUV and didnt tell me about it until I approached him. And then he played it off like he didnt do it even though it was his car that was pacrked in front of mine and paint from his car was on the dent on my car!!! What a fuck stick!

I would not be suprised if they had it. I was a student and working full time as a forklift operator and my roommates were 1 a stripper and 2 a bartender. I never got any sleep fuckers would come hame 3am with some nasty hoes and party till dawn.

My roommates do that nasty toenail shit too.

solo- I feel your pain. Our door closes easily, and slams even easier. A smart person would shut the door with the knob turned, then turn the knob back, just to be quiet. No. They’ll come home at 3 and 4 am and SLAM THE FUCKING DOOR!! Our apartment is small, and you can easily feel everything. So just for revenge, I get up early every morning, and I make sure to slam the door a few times in the morning. HAHAHA!!

I’m not a neat nick by any means, I just like a clean place. Things will be dirty before I clean. It’s just I’m the only person that does so.

Holy shit man. I’m moving out on May 4th, the day after graduation. I CANNOT WAIT!!!


I posted this solution in another thread, I re-post it here as a solution to your current problems.

You would be surprised at how MANY problems this solves.

#1. Kill him.

#2. Eat his heart.

#3. Send me his spleen.

#4. DO NOT ask why.

#5. Also DO NOT confuse the spleen with the pancreas…'cause if that happens one more time…

“Everybody has a heart. Except some people”

~ Bette Davis

Best of luck, I am off to purchase a larger freezer now. I will be expecting your packages.

Grooveless, I too would be in favor of a shovel law being passed.

Another one of my favorite things my ex-roommate did: cook a pound of bacon and then leave the grease in a pan for a week. Repeat once per week. What a fucking ass bag.

But hey, it’s cool. I realized why he and his fuggly girlfriend are so mad at the world. I’m sure we’ve all heard other people, or been heard having sex. The shit just gets loud sometimes and you don’t care. I can honestly say that I never once overheard them shagging in two years. Not that I was listening, but our rooms were right next to one another. I know they heard me all the time cuz they wouldn’t look me in the eyes when I’d come downstairs after a good fuck session.

I actually feel sorry for the poor guy. The bitch painted the kitchen orange yesterday. She must have gotten high and watched trading spaces or something.

Yeah, I have some stories…we’ll save them for another day.

I’m just glad I live in my own place by myself. It’s much better that way. And I’m a clean son of a bitch, so my place must be spotless at all times.

Some people are ignorant and just dumb.

"Also had two roomates one would gring a drunk chick home and turn out all the lights in the house. Then he would get her doggie style and the other guy would come in and switch hit on her. Now that one is funny. "

no, thats not funny, thats called fucking rape.


Thanks for saying that.

I’m moving home from college for 3 weeks, then I get my own place. Boy will it be shiny. I’m not a clean-freak, but I like organization and cleanliness.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

Rumbach now that i think about it it pretty much is. Heck that was 10 years ago and I pretty much tried to avoid them. But in hindsight it was not a cool thing todo. Thanx for pointing that out.