T Nation

Roomate Help

Alright, so I need some advice… I have this roomate who keeps eating my food(ie chicken breast, tuna, fish, udo’s oil, etc) This shit 'aint cheap! Anyways, last night the 4 of us were together and I basically told them(him) to stop eating my stuff, or at least replace it if they do. All good. So last night I proceed to cook 4 chicken breasts, ate 2 and put 2 in the fridge for this morning… well guess what wasn’t there this morning… chicken breasts have gone MIA! i called the guy, asked if he took em, he said no, but I know for sure the other 2 roomates wouldnt have… as they are both stand-up types… The problem is this problem roomie and I are friends and train together once in a while… any ideas how to put a stop to this stealing of food? MY first reaction is to put my fist through his face, cause this is totally disrespectful…

Does he have a girlfriend?

You know what to shoplift. . .

Aside from pounding him, call him out in front of the other roomamtes and tell him this is bullshit, it has to end, or his ass is gone from the place (if you can throw him out). Friendship has to include mutual respect of the other persons space and property. This guy needs a good bitch slap to wake him up.

Or get some really bad hot sauce (I’d recommmned Daves insanity Sauce)and spike your food with it. It’ll be a painful lesson for him, Daves about killed me.

Read “Kids these days” thread

Booby-trap the food with laxatives,ipecac, or something. Make brownies from Ex-lax… and let the games begin!

Lace the leftovers with a STRONG laxative! Then you will have all the proof that you need. You can also sucker punch him when he is on the pot!

Chocolate Ex-lax brownies…

You’ll know who the offender is quicker than you can say “Green Apple Two Step”

Then, you need to sabatoge his toothpaste with a like 8 packets of salt.

Buy a bar fridge and keep your own shit separate from the rest of the convicts you live with.

If that doesn’t work, spike some food with ex-lax from time to time. Just don’t forget which stuff you’ve doctored up… also, make sure whatever you spike isn’t truly spoiled or otherwise dangerous.

Start putting your food into tupperware containers so it can’t be “seen” easily. Then, from time to time toss in some dog shit or something. Again, don’t forget which is which.

Finally, and perhaps more seriously, have defined areas or visibly different containers. Having lived with other people before it can easily be hard to tell what belongs to who as it all looks alike.

Personally, I’d get my own fridge, trying to deal with this type of bullshit is not worth the time or the aggravation.

Get bigger. That has done wonders as far as people doing anything they think might set me off.

…and I’m such a nice guy.

You’ve gotta do something from all the suggestions. You must tell us all about it too. In great detail.

If hes there in the kitchen when you make your food, sneeze on it or cough on it and make sure he sees you do it.

Kill him and eat him, human tissue is meant to be a very good protein source as the amino acid profile is perfectly matched.

So so Ive been thinkin and exlax it is… unless someone can suggest something a little more potent… The idea is this: He seems to have a real taste for expensive things, so Im going to bake some “protein” brownies and mention that I made these new brownies outta chocolate whey protein, guaranteed he’ll be all over em… but insted of eating chocolate whey, he’ll be gettin enough exlax to completey clean out a throughbred!! I can’t wait, Ive got goosebumps just thinking about how hard I’ll laugh.

[quote]Bater wrote:
So so Ive been thinkin and exlax it is… unless someone can suggest something a little more potent… The idea is this: He seems to have a real taste for expensive things, so Im going to bake some “protein” brownies and mention that I made these new brownies outta chocolate whey protein, guaranteed he’ll be all over em… but insted of eating chocolate whey, he’ll be gettin enough exlax to completey clean out a throughbred!! I can’t wait, Ive got goosebumps just thinking about how hard I’ll laugh.[/quote]

Don’t forget to frost them!

I wouldn’t spike your food or anything sneaky like that, it just breeds a bad environment.
I live with three other guys and it definitely sucks, but they don’t steal my shit most of the time. I don’t know how often you are all there together, but when you are, go to the fridge, look in and yell, “Who the FUCK ate my ______?”
They will all go, “Uh, not me dude…”
At this point you say “One of you is obviously lying…whatever, whatever”

It is important to make a scene with them all there, otherwise they will all deny it individually. There’s a good chance if all of you are together and you bitch loud enough and long enough, one of them will rat the culprit out to shut your ass up. Or the thief might admit it himself so you stop bitching.

As an aside, make sure not to sweat the small stuff or your life will be very stressful/annoying if you live with idiots like I do. I love em though:)

If you have acess to a chem lab phenothalein (used as an indicator in acid/base titrations) is a very potent laxative. It is colorless, oderless, and tasteless too!

No idea on the dasage but the more the merrier!

I dont think its toxic but you might want to verify that!

[quote]Snoop wrote:
If you have acess to a chem lab phenothalein (used as an indicator in acid/base titrations) is a very potent laxative. It is colorless, oderless, and tasteless too!

No idea on the dasage but the more the merrier!

I dont think its toxic but you might want to verify that! [/quote]

I could just see him in court, “I, I didn’t really mean to kill him. It was supposed to be a prank. How was I supposed to know that phenothalein makes your organs discintigrate?? I just heard about it on the internet!”

If you have access to a chem lab… I don’t know if you can cook with it, but methalene blue, if consumed, will turn your piss bright blue. Maybe you could start pre-mixing some protein shakes. It’s perfectly safe to consume, btw. Senior year in high school we spiked our physics teacher’s coffee a couple of times.

When I was in college we had the same problem with roomates eating and drinking our stuff.

It wasnt one guy but two backing each others play on our stuff.

We ended up separating the kitchen cabinettes and locking them and I got my own fridge and put it in my room.

This worked until they found out how to jimmy my door open, and then I had to put a deadbolt on my door.

Once we caught the two, we kicked them out majority vote, but it was a bad 2 months putting up with the crap they were doing.

Just so you know, putting any form of drug into your food, to catch a theif is considered assault and you can get in big trouble for it if the asshole calls the cops.

I had a similar problem in the past. I shared a house with a couple roommates and they kept drinking my beer when I was gone. I decided to buy beer they (most people) don’t like…guiness. Well that didn’t stop them so I hid my beer in the vegetable crisper. It worked!, the beer was out of sight and they never thought to reach down and check it.