This is a thread that should have happened a long time ago. RV blesses us with so many profound nuggets of gold mined from the deepest trolling mines ever seen on this page that his best work cannot go unrecognized or preserved in one thread for easy reference.
I encourage everyone to cull your favorite RV nugget and copy/paste it here
Here is my first contribution. This is not "first edition" work from the RV b/c he has espoused the following in one form of the other on prior occasions but nonetheless, this is good stuff: