I am from the Czech Republic and I want to slowly regain both of my physical and mental health and I know, based on reading the stickies and some threads, this is the great place to start.
27 years old on 7th December I turn 28
169 cm/ 14,03 feet
82kg/ 180 pounds
Describe body and facial hair:
Normal moustache and goatee, little hairy on the chest, armpit, down there
Describe where you carry fat and how changed:
Mainly around midsection
Health conditions, symptoms [history]
At the age of 14 ablation catheterisation of my heart. Since then my heart has been perfectly fine.
Always nervous, emotional and little anxious, my flight or fight response has been always super sensitive.
In 2016 I did my first quite hard diet, and according to Inbody I had (6% of body fat - not precise of course). Photos
After the diet (it was mainly no fat, low carb, high protein diet) that I was constantly nervous and filled adrenaline, could not concentrate, lot of crying outbursts (It was the last year of college for my bachelors degree and I was under a lot of pressure). I was prescribed mild Antidepressant for Anxiety and Insomnia (Trittico 150mg).
Anxiety/Depression runs in our family, mainly from my mother´s side. (My both cousins are on citalopram, my two aunts are on the same drug, grandgrand father went insane…)
Trittico was useless, I ended up and got my hormone pannel checked (fasting, at 7 AM):
TT: 11,1 nmol/l (6,073 - 27,1)
Estradiol 107,6 pmol/l (0-172)
**Prolaktin 6,5 ug/l (2,64 - 13,13) **
**Cortisol 157 (101 - 536) **
**TSH 4,390 mU/l (0,4 - 4) **
**fT4 (Tyroxin vol.) 14,3 pmol/l (11,5- 22,7) **
**fT3 4,4 pmol (2,6 - 5,7) **
S_SHBG 25,8 nmol/l (16,2 - 68,5)
I did Iodine replenishment, selenium, VIT D , hopped od HCG 250 IU EOD, Tamox dissolved in vodka and I was much better,
Since then I have incorporated meditations, cold showers healthy eating, CBT with my psychologist etc.
Beginning of March I had my first bodybuilding show (I was natural among juicers)
Under the supervision of my trainer (diet - zero fats, little carbs, high amount of protein)
Ripped to the bone, had stripes on my glutes. I am in the middle.
I went from 93kg to 69 kg- that was my contest weight. After the show, typical rebound, tons of chocolate and 10 kg up in four days.
I was very tired but happy. Immediately after the show I had 2 months of full of working (I was teaching at school and then from 4 to 8 private language school).
Slowly I had following symptoms: excessive amount of adrenaline, hyperactivity. anxiety I would say.
On the last day of school we had a teachers party where I drunk 7 beers. When I woke up in the morning, horrible adrenaline rush, I didnt want to see anybody, wanted to break up with my girlfriend.
I tried to fight it with training in the gym, cold showers, meditation but nothing worked. At the end of my 2 month summer holiday I could not train anymore I was in bed and only watching TV, I got to the doctor and she gave me Trittico again and Citalopram.
I was so weak and overwhelmed that I thought that it is only just in my head, so I tried Trittico= bedtime, Citalopram 5mg in the morning.
After Citalopram I had to quit because of the sides. I had only trittico 150 mg (I could not sleep, could not eat).
Then I run a smaller hormone pannel:
TSH: 3,420 mU/l (0,4 - 4)
E2: 90,0 pmol/l (0 - 172)
TT: 7,8 nmol/l (6,073 - 27,1)
fT3: 3,7 pmol/l (2,6 - 5,7)
The bad thing is that I did not run before I hopped on Trittico and Citalopram.
I totally panicked and I hopped on TRT 100mg Test Cyp two times a week (I had only two shots because Trittico at night gave me heartpalpitations and I thought it was TST). So I quit and after a week I had almost suicidal tendencies (Due to my total drop of TST I guess). I totaly fucked up myself and I was unable to go to work so since 9th September I have been home.
I went to a new psychiatrist and she gave me a new diagnosis: Anxiety/Depression and was given 30 mg Remeron for sleep/ 10mg Of Cipralex in the morning. I gave up and have tried them.
Current symptoms: Sleepy all the time,physicaly totally week, forgetful, bad cognitive skills, no erections, but at least little calmer. No self-confidence even that I know that there is no valid point being non-confident.
Rx and OTC drugs, any hair loss drugs or prostate drugs ever
Remeron 30 mg bed time
Cipralex 10mg in the morning
Describe diet [some create substantial damage with starvation diets]
4 meals (eggs, chicken/beef/salmon, oatmeal, 300g rice)
No supplements now
I am craving for fast sugars (probably caused by Remeron)
describe training [some ruin their hormones by over training]
Pre contest: 6-7x a week (split), 3x days a week HIT cardio
After the contest: 3x times a week (Variation of full body) 1-2x HIT CARDIO
Now: No training, totally drained, fucked both mentally and physically. 4 sets with expanders (bic, tric) and 20 pushups. At home… no work.
Testes ache, ever, with a fever
How have morning wood and nocturnal erections changed:
I am in a pathetic and really dark place now and it would be great if someone knowledgeable can give me some info where to start.
I will be home for two more weeks and then go to work again.
I am in the Czech Republic where some sort of TRT simply exists in only 1 or 2 clinics and it is really expensive.
I can afford one more blood panel, what should I order? I have HCG,Tamoxifen and Test cyp at hand (From Vojta Koritensky IFBB pro athlete).
I cant get rid of the brain meds yet I have been taking them for 2 weeks now.
I know that I pretty much fucked myself up and now I really need to slowly recover (if it is even possible).
Any help will be greatly appreaciated!!