OK, vixens… lets hear your input.
If your a-hole ever hurts after a rough day of shitting and wiping, rub some Desitin around that bad boy. It’s like a diaper rash cream for babies, but it works wonders. It gets rid of the pain pretty quickly so you won’t be walking around like you just got out of prison all day.
BluePfaltz,
Coffee causes almost immediate shitting because the caffeine stimulates the digestive tract, not because the coffee magically speeds through your guts. Although this technique for regularity is very useful to most people, some say it makes your digestive system dependent on the stimulation for clearing itself out.
I’m still waiting for realpeanutbutter to jump all over this thread…
[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
OK, vixens… lets hear your input.[/quote]
“Girls don’t poop.”
About 4 years ago I read an interview with Jack Black (the actor and musician) who credited Metamucil with producing what he called “the perfect no-wipe shit”. He then qualified that by saying, “well, fine, one for insurance”.
After reading this thread, which really is a contender for best ever, I’m going to give the Metamucil a try. If T-Nation and Jack Black agree on anything, it must be true.
p.s. Chuck Norris invented toilet paper.
[quote]wfifer wrote:
rrjc5488 wrote:
OK, vixens… lets hear your input.
“Girls don’t poop.”[/quote]
That would explain why they’re so full of shit most of the time.
I always thought it was a myth that girls shit…until I tried anal for the first time. What an eye opener.
[quote]phox wrote:
If your a-hole ever hurts after a rough day of shitting and wiping, rub some Desitin around that bad boy. It’s like a diaper rash cream for babies, but it works wonders. It gets rid of the pain pretty quickly so you won’t be walking around like you just got out of prison all day.[/quote]
Thanks you so much for this, i’m heading down to the shops right away.
At the moment when ever i push one out the pain is almost unbearable and it feels like my anus is being ripped apart. I think all my recent wiping has caused there to be a wound there so when i push out a huge log it is not a pleasent experience for me
PS: If i cant find Desitin (i live in Australia so i dont know if we have the same brands as in the states) would any diaper rash cream be fine? Anybody from Australia know of good brands?
Yea i’ve never really been able to picture a girl pushing out a huge crap until my sister did a huge, ugly and rank floater in the toilet and ‘forgot’ to flush…i had nightmares for days
By the way thanks for all the help guys, i thought i would be getting flamed in a big way for this thread but it looks like its a common issue that we all face!
I’m gonna be getting on the Metamucil and baby wipes right away!
By the way I tried someones suggestion of wetting the toilet paper before wiping and although it was a soothing experience i think i wet the bog paper too much, on my second wipe i used to much force and my fingers went through the wet toilet paper and into my (still very dirty) hole… 
…
i’m looking forward to the baby wipes and hopefuly their stronger
[quote]etaco wrote:
Have a cup of coffee or strong black tea first thing in the morning and you will empty yourself out well enough that you won’t need to poop again until you get home.[/quote]
works for me! Bang!
I can’t believe I’m writing to advise a guy on how to take a dump… but anyway here goes…
If it is soft, there is obviously too much water relative to the solids content. The primary role of the colon is water re-absorption. So, if you dont go so often (3-4 times/day seems excessive even if bulking), it will allow a longer time for water absorption and thus produce firmer stools.
Incidently, the urge to defecate occurs when the colon is only 1/3 full. So you can hold on for a lot longer than when the feeling first occurs.
… It scares me how much I actully knew on this topic, but I hope it helps…
I’ve found that in terms of colon health, metamucil and psyllium husk dont seem to work in some circumstances.
However, if you mix the psyllium husk with LSA (ground linseed, sunflower and almond) then the different type of fibre contained in the LSA seems to create a much better shit.
[quote]wfifer wrote:
“Girls don’t poop.”[/quote]
You know, when I was a kid, I used to believe that either girls didn’t fart or poop, or if they did, it would smell like roses or potpourri or something nice. And I also thought that the hotter the girl was, the nicer smelling her farts and poop would be.
Anyway, I used to have this friend who had a hot older sister that I had a crush on. One day, while over at his house, I went into the bathroom right after she got done using it. Right then and there all my disillusions and misinformation about female waste were put to rest. It was the worst, most foul smelling shit I have ever smelled. It was absolutely disgusting and it ruined my crush on her.
[quote]wfifer wrote:
“Girls don’t poop.”[/quote]
Oooooohhh yes they do.
Having been married for what seems like the past 150-200 years I’ve “witnessed” firsthand the kind of damage a woman can do in the bathroom.Peeling wallpaper,dripping paint and brain damage to the children all have been caused by whatever she’s done in there.
Ground flax seed does wonders for your poop, so ditch the oil. Also, lifting your knees up towards your chest supposedly aligns your colon better?
And quit getting spicy indian take-outs if you’re doing that…
[quote]Dilligaf wrote:
Yea i’ve never really been able to picture a girl pushing out a huge crap until my sister did a huge, ugly and rank floater in the toilet and ‘forgot’ to flush…i had nightmares for days
By the way thanks for all the help guys, i thought i would be getting flamed in a big way for this thread but it looks like its a common issue that we all face!
I’m gonna be getting on the Metamucil and baby wipes right away!
By the way I tried someones suggestion of wetting the toilet paper before wiping and although it was a soothing experience i think i wet the bog paper too much, on my second wipe i used to much force and my fingers went through the wet toilet paper and into my (still very dirty) hole… …
i’m looking forward to the baby wipes and hopefuly their stronger[/quote]
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha…dude, the wording on that first paragraph killed me. i started dying laughing, i got the old people on the treadmill staring now. oh man, thanks.
Fiber and baby wipes.
Charmin also makes a wipe for adults. Works well for those less than pristine movements.
My advice, never ever push. If you’ve gotta push, it aint ready or lubricated.
Pushing is bad for what ails ya.
Just to understand you correctly, you`re talking of these 2 types?
This one:
And this one: