T Nation

Response to Reflections on Celibacy

That sure was an interesting article. But I find that Maureen T-vixen is a rare breed. I believe a lot of girls from around where I am from want a drunken, slobbish idiot. I say this because I am a fairly big and buff guy with brains but I don’t fare as well with women as a lot of idiots do. I don’t think I have an ugly mug either! I am planning on going to med school and becoming a successful doctor. Where are the women like Maureen? I better find one soon!

 They're writing articles for T-Mag.

 Why dont you get in touch with her? I think her handle is 'T-Vixen'. Heck, we know she IS looking...

Spencer, even when you’re a doctor, many still want the drunken slob. I spent this past weekend at the beach and got to see it firsthand.

Such is life…

Depends on what you want. Sure, it’s the age old quantity vs quality debate vs your standards. Bottom line, it’s like any other market: offer vs demand. Depends on what you want, what you have to offer and the ‘price’ you are willing to pay (all aspects, not just $) to have your way

If you hang out in bars and clubs, you are going to meet a lot women who smoke, drink and who like smokers and drinkers. If you work out, work hard, and hang out in places where you meet quality people who are educated (libraries, museums, community fund-raisers etc), then you will meet a high quality woman at a gym, library, museum, etc, who shares those common interests. You are young I presume, so give it time. Be patient. I met my wife in college over 14 years ago, and we have been together ever since. I always advise that one does what I did in this case… OVER MARRY! I went so far out of my league it isn’t even funny. But persistence paid off and I finally got her go out with me (got turned down flat about 6 times, just bided my time for a few months and finally won her over). The good ones are worth all the trouble. Good luck!

The good ones are definitely worth the trouble,

It’s just rough, though, Most of the girls around East Lansing are interested in the party boy because that’s what they themselves are into.

Find the fringe girls, the ones that are in the gym when you are, the ones that are with a crew of friends at a museum or a track meet rather than a club or a bar.

Good luck, don’t worry about it too much, it will happen eventually, and when it does, it will be a good one.


Was the idea that the male readers of T-mag were supposed to drool over Michelle T-Vixen, and talk about how she’s a dream-come-true? Sorry, not with this reader. I didn’t find her appealing AT ALL, at least not by how she comes across in her article. I know we’re all supposed to go crazy when a woman has a high sex drive and is not ashamed to speak explicitly about sexual matters, but for me, this woman still leaves a lot to be desired. With a woman like her, you’d have to wonder, if you got in some accident and got out of shape, wouldn’t she just dump you?! Who wants to fall in love and commit to THAT kind of a person?!! Plus, my personal opinion, her face is not very appealing at all… not ugly, just not inviting or alluring. Makes ya wonder why she chose a face only shot… did we see the best she has to offer, physically? With the kind of demands she’s making, she oughta have an absolutely killer bod. Anyway, nothing wrong with a girl having her preferences, but it just makes me wonder when someone seems to be so overly focused on ultimately superficial qualities (exeptionally high IQ and muscle mass). I mean, she says her standards are so high, she hasn’t been attracted to be with anyone for 2 freakin’ years… what’s up with that?!? If she keeps waiting, maybe she’ll find the perfect specimen (super brainy and muscular), but will that be enough to keep her happy? I kinda doubt it. Just my two cents. But what do I know about these matters, I’m currently single too!!

I wasn’t really attracted to her face but more towards her personality I guess. If I found out more about her it might change my mind. I would like to find a woman who doesn’t drink often but around here it can be difficult. I have met a few weight lifter girls who are cute but they often times get very sloppy on the weekends. I can handle once in a while, but it happens 3 times out of the week usually! But you guys are right about where to look. I just need something to break the ice usually you know?

Celibacy’s good for another thing too…

It allows you to have time to think and sort things out…internal and external…Time to think of what happened, what you can learn of it, seek out patterns, put the pieces together, read books, ask questions, take time to ‘find yourself back’ (if you had too little time for yourself), do all those things you promised yourself you’d do when appropriate, etc.

In addition, it can help you to prevent from repeating some bad parts of your history…if you take the time to sort things out, let it sink in and take responsibility for what happened (which very few people do because, bizarrely, it is always the other’s fault(s)…yeah, right).

Not to sound too nerdy, but some evenings I spent with only a book to read and some time to ponder changed my view of things permanently…far more than whatever company or tv that occasionnaly gets you thinking…

Just my 2 cents. Your mileage may differ.

Spencer, what does it mean to “get very sloppy on the weekends?” Not making your bed? Leaving crumbs on the table after lunch? What the heck are you talking about??!!


That was Maureen; not Michelle.

Whoa bluedreamer, you just said what all of us wanted to but didn’t have the T-fortitude to. Very nice. However, Maureen had some valid points that impressed me. She seems to buck cognitive psycology’s principles of bettering and satisficing by not sticking with one until something better comes along or staying with one that will do for now.

Further, I don’t think she wrote this article to toot her own horn so to speak. I believe she was pulling a bluedreamer saying what most people don’t have the T-fortitude to say who are single, asexual, and loving it…or semi-loving it…or hating it. I’ve been in that position before and it’s odd to say the least. Her description of the celibate state is right on. I think Maureen brought these concerns that some or many people may have to the forefront.

As far as dating someone based on buffness and smarts alone, yeah blue, that idea is pretty shallow. I think I have only one set shallow dating criterion. If a girl can’t hold her own in a wrestling match against me, she gets sent packin’.

haha sorry blue… I meant getting sloppy drunk! My bad!

Hey bluedreamer, I’m Michelle, she is Maureen. Please feel free to express any opinions about the article you’d like to, but get the author’s name right. Thank you.