T Nation

Relationship Advice


#1

I'm in need of some serious advice.I've been dating my girlfriend now since march of 04.Today I get home and my roomate forgot and left his email up.I went to sign off and noticed a couple of emails from my girlfriend.They were just forwards of some stupid stuff.Now my girlfriend and my roomate both know each other because of me.So I keep looking at his email and i found his password to myspace.Maybe I shouldn't have done this but keep in mind that I am already suspicous at this point.My girlfriend already had a myspace account awhile back but she got rid of the original one because I didn't like her being on there.BTW he was on there as one of her friends.So anyway I pull up his account and find out that she has a new myspace account.I click on her name and she's got all kinds of dudes on there.She also put that she was there for dating and or serious relationships.I call her up and ask her about it and she admits to being on there but she says that she hasn't cheated(physically met up with anyone).She then tells me that my roomate has been telling her that I'm not right for her and that I'm just using her and that I've cheated on her.

So I ask her why she did this and she says that I haven't been showing her enough affection and attention.I will admit to that.For some reason I get in my little moods and don't wanna be around anyone while i'm pissed.I really love this girl alot and she has been good to me the whole time we have been dating but I have no idea what to do.How can I trust her now?Should I try to work things out or just call it quits?Sorry for the long post but I'm really upset and had to get some of this out.


#2

No one here can answer that for you. But it sounds like she's made up her mind.
I'd be pretty pissed at your roomate too.


#3

Well first off, ditch your f-ing roommate. He's clearly not doing you any favors, my friend.

In terms of whether you can trust her or not, no one on here is going to be able to tell you about that or not. That's really only a question you can answer yourself. Either you think she is completely untrustworthy... OR you can think over her explanation (since it sounds like you are somewhat convinced you drove her to this or something).


#4

You didn't drive her to this, bro. Look, if you've been a loyal boyfriend to her she doesn't have any reason to go behind your back and seek out other guys. You obviously know that you can be distant at times. If she's not ok with that, she should tell you up front. Period. There's clearly a communication gap in your relationship and it sounds to me like she's made up her mind about everything. Believe me, if she loved you back the way you claim to love her, this wouldn't have happened. I'll leave it at that.


#5

I agree with what's already been said. I've got another suggestion to add.

I think you should take a good look at yourself before you start looking for the answer in other people's business.

You were snooping around in things that shouldn't concern you. That tells me that things have been bad at that point already. What were you hoping to find in the emails?


#6

1 find a new roomate

2 dump your girlfriend because she doesn't know what she wants and is probably cybering with America.

Really,you've got to think for yourself.To me,it sounds like she is playing games and doesn't know what she wants.If I were you I'd save the heart break and dump her before she cheats....and it could happen.


#7

In the time it took you to read this sentence, I would have already dumped that girl, twice. Blaming you for her actions is the biggest red flag out there. If you let her get away with that, it will get worse as time goes on and you will always be at fault for her getting with other guys...


#8

If I was dating a girl, and someone told her I cheated on her (even if not true), and she didn't go absolutely ape-shit nuts about it instantly and try to kill me or herself, then I would kind of get the impression that she wasn't that interested in me .... does that make sense?

If she believed the roommate who said you cheated on her, then she'd be real mad, yes? And yet, she wasn't, she instead snuck around behind your back, yes? Which means she either a) doesn't care that much about your relationship or b) your roommate never said that and she is using it as an excuse or c) he said it but she doesn't believe it and she trusts you, but if so, why is she bringing it up?

Although really I think she is just looking for attention, some girls want more attention, from lots of people, not anything sinister, she probably enjoys having the roommate listen to her whining, he is a SNAG perhaps (Sensitive New Age Guy), trying to give her emotional support but she just likes that for attention but is actually dating a real man, not a SNAG.

Thing is though you are a bit sensitive, maybe you need to just go "well, stuff you babey" and then she will probably like you more, when you dump her. Because you'd be strong, which is probably what she really wants. ... because that would show that your exclusive relationship is so important, it is all-or-nothing, and she better shape up or ship out.

You've been together 2 years it is quite a while so she must like you somewhat.


#9

How do I find her on myspace?


#10

dude, you gota teach her a lesson, invite her over, bang her, and tell her to get the fuck out!!!!!! dont waste your time, get on myspace and do exactly what she is doing, but find yourself women. Date a girl hotter than her, and go to where she hangs out. Dude you gota rub it in her face, and she will realize what she missed...