T Nation

Recovering From an Eating Disorder

Damnit, I did it again…ate a jar of almond butter and a cup of almonds AFTER my normal breakfast/snack/lunch as posted above…i really hope this stops soon LOL…

lol, almond overdose. Eating is good, don’t sweat it. Just don’t eat to the point of discomfort (way past fullness).

God I wish I could justify eating a jar of almond butter.

I don’t want to rain on the parade, and I do agree that you should be eating lots and fueling your body. BUT, are you dealing with the mental aspect of your disease? Seeing a therapist or something? You don’t want to see a bit of fat on your body and suddenly have a huge relapse. Make sure your head is on straight too.

[quote]GetSwole wrote:
God I wish I could justify eating a jar of almond butter.[/quote]

word

On one hand, you are in the right place…listen to these guys, you get great info here. Looks like you’re doing the right things and moving in the right direction.

On the other hand, coming from someone who, up until 4 months ago, was 5’7" at 220 (dropped to 170 for a stupid fucking contest over 14 weeks)…and I mean this from the bottom of my heart…fuck you.(ok, I don’t really mean that, but it sure does piss me off when people say they “can’t gain weight”)

Congrats, man, good luck to ya.

[quote]mrcold wrote:
On one hand, you are in the right place…listen to these guys, you get great info here. Looks like you’re doing the right things and moving in the right direction.

On the other hand, coming from someone who, up until 4 months ago, was 5’7" at 220 (dropped to 170 for a stupid fucking contest over 14 weeks)…and I mean this from the bottom of my heart…fuck you.(ok, I don’t really mean that, but it sure does piss me off when people say they “can’t gain weight”)

Congrats, man, good luck to ya.[/quote]

this guy is obviously not a 120lb newb looking to put on 10lbs of “mass” who “can’t gain weight”. you’re kind of a dick for saying that. he’s recovering from anorexia i guess, so cut him a break.

if he wants to eat a bunch of really healthy food that’s a GOOD thing. he obviously needs to increase weight for HEALTH REASONS not just because he’s some fool who wants to “gain 10lbs in 10 days”. and he deserves credit for having the balls to even post that on here, that’s some serious personal shit. plus if he’s doing what he says he’s going to the gym and doing squats, deads, rows etc. ALL GOOD SHIT. so cut him a break. jeez.

To the OP, I hope it came across that my second comment was a joke, if not, I apologize. Smartass never comes across as well upon rereading as it does in my head.

The only reason I said it pisses me off that people can’t gain weight is because that problem of not being able to put on weight is definitely not one I have an issue with…I’m a short, fat bastard by design, and I have to fight the whole way to keep from being fatter than I already am. So it’s tough for me to have sympathy for you tall, lean types.

I was completely serious about the first part, you’re in the right place, and doing the right things. I was reading your diet saying “this guy has a ton of carbs in his diet”…then I was shocked when I saw your height and weight.

Good for you for making a positive change. Again, sorry my first post didn’t come across the way I intended it.

[quote]cpcloud wrote:
this guy is obviously not a 120lb newb looking to put on 10lbs of “mass” who “can’t gain weight”. you’re kind of a dick for saying that. he’s recovering from anorexia i guess, so cut him a break.

if he wants to eat a bunch of really healthy food that’s a GOOD thing. he obviously needs to increase weight for HEALTH REASONS not just because he’s some fool who wants to “gain 10lbs in 10 days”. and he deserves credit for having the balls to even post that on here, that’s some serious personal shit.

plus if he’s doing what he says he’s going to the gym and doing squats, deads, rows etc. ALL GOOD SHIT. so cut him a break. jeez.[/quote]

My initial response was to get pissy at this…but upon rereading, I did come across as an asshole and didn’t really make it clear that I was joking around. Thanks for pointing it out.

do you see your heart when you breath? my legs weigh more than that

haha. Thanks bros. Yeah SQUATS AND MILK = SAVIOR.

Put on 6lbs in the past 2 weeks.

Putting on weight is not a problem. It is the disease that is a problem. I know what lifts I gotta do (compounds baby) and I know I need a caloric surplus. Its just the damn disease I need ya’lls help in speaking out.

Its part of the refeed where i get this ravenous hunger after some meals, I just gotta flow with it until i get up to my “normal” weight.

I have seen substantial gains in my lifts already aswell. 2 weeks ago i was barely able to squat the bar or bench the bar. Now I can squat with 35s on each side and bench with 25s on each side. My deads have gone from 10s on each side to 40 on each side…so sa’ll good (idk if you guys count the bar in your weight numbers etc…)

Thanks again for your help, and i appreciate your continued support!

yes, count the bar in your total weight. If you’re using a typical 7’ olympic bar, its 45 pounds.

bump…could use some continued support brothers…

wooo whooooooo! you can do it!

Hey, OP, how are you doing today? Please check in.

not bad.

Yesterday was rough…sat down at dinner, made myself a PB sandwich, with an apple and some almonds…ended up eating 3 pb sandwiches and smothered pb all over the apple and about 1/2 cup of almonds. Damn refeed process. Although its getting easier and easier to talk myself out of it so thats good.

Also my lifts keep going up substantially…im up to 150 on my squats, and 100 on my bench…which is easily the most i have ever done. My deads are also up to about 150…i believe i did 140 last time at the gym on Saturday.

All is going well…up to 141!

All is going well…up to 141![/quote]

Glad to hear it. Keep up the good work! I hope you’re also “feeding” your mind, with the support you’ll need to reach your goals & be healthy.

Hey Enforcer,

Just want to “weigh in” here with some support. I am 43 right now, weigh about 160 at 5-8 height. Freshman year of high school, I was 15 (at 5-3 height), and I weighed 107. Thought I was fat. Started running, cutting meals. Thus began 2.5 years of hard core anorexia. I ended up mid-way through my junior year weighing 68 lbs. Spent two months in the psych ward and started to get better…slowly.

For the next 10 years, at least, I looked normal on the outside, although thin. I weighed only 125 (at 5-8 height) until age 26. That is ten years of weight obsession. Maybe you will get over it quickly, but that was my experience.

You have gotten some good advice here, and I want to second it.

  1. Get to a good therapist, and keep going, even when you think you are doing OK. If you can afford it, go once a week,

  2. Keep eating and lifting, but be careful what you read. A lot of stuff on this site, though well-intentioned, is targeted at FFBs (Former Fat Boys) who are obsessed with losing fat. That shit DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU. Reading it will fuck with your head. STAY AWAY.

  3. Stay away from the scale. Far away. Weigh yourself no more than once a week. Preferably once a month.

  4. Eat frequently to avoid binging. Eat good whole foods, but don’t jump off the bridge if you eat some ice cream or cookies. There is a lot of self-loathing with this disease. Don’t give in to it. You are only doing what is normal for humans (and all animals, for that matter): nourishing your body.

I have done on too long. I feel for you. PM me if you want ongoing support. Or if you prefer, we can do it here, where others might benefit from it.

Peace,

MM

I just want to add one more thing: above, you speak of refeeds. What are you referring to? Typically, refeeds refer to higher calorie or higher carb days for dieting BBers.

I don’t understand why you would refer to refeeds, as every single meal you eat for the next two years should be a refeed meal.

no, its just that i get this uncontrollable hunger sometime after i eat a meal…I have done some reading on it, and it is a refeeding syndrome…after being deprived for so long your body just craves food like mad…

Things are going well…