Reasons Why I'm a Christian, and So Should You

You say you aren’t a troll - but if you were a troll, I’m trying to think about how, as a troll, you’d do anything different than what you’re currently doing in this thread.

Can’t come up with anything. Troll.

I went into a room alone and, with total disregard, sold my soul to the devil. All I did was utter a few blasphemous words while imagining to be communicating with the devil. I imagined I signed a contract with him that says my soul is his as long as he gives me glory and power.

And when I came back to my studio apartment that night, I saw a thousand severed heads. Pale skin and black eyes. Then the other heads disappeared and left one to remain. She looked at me and I looked at her. That’s when I saw it.

I assumed I was going crazy, and thought, “Fuck. Maybe I’m schizophrenic after all.” I decided to sleep it off. But then I had a dream that I was sent to hell. It was the most vivid dream I’ve ever had in my life. The memory of it was crystal clear. I’ll never forget it.

I panicked and ran off to a local pastor who told me what I needed to hear. I forgot exactly what he said, but whatever it was, it wasn’t enough. I was still afraid.

The next day, when I went to work, the woman appeared to me again in the middle of my shift. There was no one around so I decided it was safe to talk to her. I asked her who the fuck she was and what the fuck does she want from me, and she told me her name in a loud shriek, Akarya.

After work, I went online to look her up, and guess what I found? Akarya is a Sanskrit word, meaning “forbidden activities.” Here’s the source: CBA

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I assure you, I’m not. As far as I can see, I haven’t spawned a flame war yet. Arguments, yes. Flame war, no.

Do you genuinely not believe in Evolution?
Is the earth flat?
Does the sun rotate around us?

Isn’t this the sort of thing Jesus himself spoke out directly against? The people (can’t remember what they were called in the Bible) whom prayed in the market for the sole fact that they could be seen “worshipping”

I genuinely do not believe in evolution. To me, it’s an educated but misguided theory.

The earth is spherical. A recall somebody sending me an image of a globe from the Middle Ages. I’ll see if I can find it and post it here.

The earth rotates around the sun, not the other way around.

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It’s the hypocrites.

Declaration of faith is not a prayer. This is not the same.

Blessed are those who do not see yet believe.

In truth, you can’t really be fully convinced of the promises of God and such until you see proof, but you put forth faith anyway because that’s what you’re supposed to do.

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[quote=“hugh_gilly, post:104, topic:230641”]
Does the sun rotate around us?
[/quote]

How can the sun rotate “around us” if we’re living on a flat Earth that’s being carried by a giant turtle on its back?

Seriously, I have so many questions for young Earth creationists and flat Earthers

What’s on the bottom side of the Earth? And on the edges?

What’s the stance on other stars, planetary systems, constellations and galaxies for that matter? When was Alpha Centauri and it’s orbiting gas giants created, for example?

What’s the stance on the Auroch, Diprotodon, Toxodon and the Woolly Mammoth, for example?

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Nothing. Its like those portable holes from the Bugs Bunny/ Road Runner show. In fact, that is where those portable holes come from.

That’s where the langoliers wait.

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And you’re still not squatting 500? I guess I can’t blame you for going Christian if you got stiffed by the devil.

So what the fuck did she want from you besides telling you her name? You said she was hot. What happened next? Was she DTF?

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There is another option. Make your belief based on the facts we currently have regarding the age of the earth and dinosaurs.

Sources for dinosaurs existing and age of the earth? Go to a science museum where there are large objects called fossils from dinosaurs and talk to the people there. Probably a good start, and then we can go from there.

I think you must be trolling with this comment.

You have a belief that is vastly different than everybody else, with no evidence to support the idea other than a story. Yet, you are trying to convince/convert people to your way of thinking when there is clear factual evidence proving you are wrong. If there was such a glaring flaw in my belief system I would consider it incredibly important and re-evaluate my approach to how I get convinced of certain beliefs.

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I wasn’t being entirely serious. Satan isn’t real, you know. Neither is God for that matter.

I’m a dyslexic agnostic insomniac, I stay up all night pondering if a dog really does exist.

Your also my fav troll, much more sophisticated and complex than the others.

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I… AM… NOT… TROLLING.

I can’t decide if I want to participate in this thread or not. But I keep following along…

I’m trying to figure out the OP. Troll is still a strong option for me, although it is so difficult for me to wrap my mind around why anyone would put so much effort into trolling. A more reasonable explanation of this nonsense, to my mind, is still a very simple, severely under-educated young man with a lot of fervor and passion, a desire to be different from others, and also a hint of wanting to be superior, with a glaze of false humility.

The Nietzsche thing fucking kills me though. Assuming this is not trolling, that bit was hilarious.

OP, I cannot understand why you, or anyone for that matter, who has strong beliefs the way you do would not be interested in furthering his education. Your level of literacy regarding essentially EVERYTHING you’re talking about is poor. You’re talking to a whole bunch of people who know a whole lot more about the things you’re saying than you do. Just food for thought. You’re just not well armed for this.

Or you’re a troll. IDK.

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You know what? Fuck it.

People want me to be a troll, then I’ll be a fucking troll. Do you happen to know a 19 year old kid from bodybuilding dot com several years ago? ViKtoricus? That was me. I’m 25 now. My REAL trolling skills haven’t been revealed yet in the likes of T-Nation.com. I tried my best to have a serious discussion, but if people wanna label me a goddamn troll, then so be it.

I’ll leave this fucking forum and formulate a fucking strategy. I’ll terrorize this message board worse than I did sherdog and bb dot com. Get ready…

How do you feel about Allah? Or Vishnu?

What terror have we unleashed? May Quetzalcoatl grant us mercy!

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I’m sure Odin will put a stop to it.