T Nation

Real Predators Review! MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT

Wow that movie was fucking terrible. I read the first predators review and since everyone thought it was awesome I went to see it. WTF WERE YOU ALL SEEING THAT I WASNT?

Here is why it sucked:

  1. The movie just throws a bunch of stereotypes together.

  2. You would think since the girl was such a badass she would have no problem leaving someone behind, BUT NO SHES A CHICK AND THE GIRLS ALWAYS GET EMOTIONAL! EVEN THE FUCKING BAD ASS ONES.

  3. The asian dude literally had 2 sentences in the entire movie.

  4. Whenever the movie cut to the asian dude it brought in the typical asian sounding music, seriously wtf…

  5. Morpheus THE ONLY FUCKING GOOD CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE, dies like its nothing! You would think since he has pwnd like 3 aliens they would give him more respect and fight him 1v1 hand to hand but no he just gets blasted the fuck away.

  6. The fight scene with the asian dude and the alien was absolutely TERRIBLE, i felt like i was watching kill bill and the asian dude was one of the crazy 88s and just runs so fucking comically at the alien, seriously go watch one of the bourne movies and make a fight scene better than that shit.

  7. THE MOVIE IS TERRIBLE AvP and AvP 2 are 10 times better.

Give me one good reason why I should believe you over WolBarret

I plan on watching it tomorrow.

also… FUCKING MORPHEUS HAS ALIEN WEAPONS AND HE USES A SMALL FUCKING FIRE TO TRY AND SMOKE THEM OUT AND KILL THEM!!! this movie is just a joke

[quote]jck524 wrote:
Wow that movie was fucking terrible. I read the first predators review and since everyone thought it was awesome I went to see it. WTF WERE YOU ALL SEEING THAT I WASNT?

Here is why it sucked:

  1. The movie just throws a bunch of stereotypes together.

  2. You would think since the girl was such a badass she would have no problem leaving someone behind, BUT NO SHES A CHICK AND THE GIRLS ALWAYS GET EMOTIONAL! EVEN THE FUCKING BAD ASS ONES.

  3. The asian dude literally had 2 sentences in the entire movie.

  4. Whenever the movie cut to the asian dude it brought in the typical asian sounding music, seriously wtf…

  5. Morpheus THE ONLY FUCKING GOOD CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE, dies like its nothing! You would think since he has pwnd like 3 aliens they would give him more respect and fight him 1v1 hand to hand but no he just gets blasted the fuck away.

  6. The fight scene with the asian dude and the alien was absolutely TERRIBLE, i felt like i was watching kill bill and the asian dude was one of the crazy 88s and just runs so fucking comically at the alien, seriously go watch one of the bourne movies and make a fight scene better than that shit.

  7. THE MOVIE IS TERRIBLE AvP and AvP 2 are 10 times better. [/quote]

I agree with everything you’ve written except for Larry Fishburne’s character. Thought that sucked too. And the first AVP wasn’t true to the Predator’s abilities as a hunter/killer, so that sucked. Everything about this movie was forced. The action sucked, the plot sucked, the characters sucked, even the Predators looked kinda hokey. Rodriguez completely fucked this up.

[quote]jck524 wrote:
Wow that movie was fucking terrible. I read the first predators review and since everyone thought it was awesome I went to see it. WTF WERE YOU ALL SEEING THAT I WASNT?

Here is why it sucked:

  1. The movie just throws a bunch of stereotypes together.

  2. You would think since the girl was such a badass she would have no problem leaving someone behind, BUT NO SHES A CHICK AND THE GIRLS ALWAYS GET EMOTIONAL! EVEN THE FUCKING BAD ASS ONES.

  3. The asian dude literally had 2 sentences in the entire movie.

  4. Whenever the movie cut to the asian dude it brought in the typical asian sounding music, seriously wtf…

  5. Morpheus THE ONLY FUCKING GOOD CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE, dies like its nothing! You would think since he has pwnd like 3 aliens they would give him more respect and fight him 1v1 hand to hand but no he just gets blasted the fuck away.

  6. The fight scene with the asian dude and the alien was absolutely TERRIBLE, i felt like i was watching kill bill and the asian dude was one of the crazy 88s and just runs so fucking comically at the alien, seriously go watch one of the bourne movies and make a fight scene better than that shit.

  7. THE MOVIE IS TERRIBLE AvP and AvP 2 are 10 times better. [/quote]

  8. What movies dont throw stereotypes together? In theory the Predators wanted the best killers on the planet so wouldn’t they need to be kinda stereotypical of the culture they are supposed to reflect?

  9. Girls are more emotional than guys. FACT

  10. Hes the strong silent type. (key word SILENT)

  11. Asian dude, Asian music… whats the problem? Would have been weird if they cut to him and a Mariachi band started playing

  12. If the Predators knew he had already smoked 3 of theor own why the fuck would they hand to hand battle him? Take that dude out anyway you can

  13. Ummmmm… Ok yeah that was kinda lame. If the Predators never trained for a sword fight then maybe Samuri guy had a chance but other than that it would have been a slaughter. Indian dude in the first predator tried that move… Talk about you all time backfires

  14. Ummmmm… AVP was pretty sweet… I think I’d take this movie over AVP2 but not by much

.greg.

Are you saying if every time the camera cut to a black man some sort of 80s Shaft music, jamaican drum or rendition of “fuck the police” played, that would be fine, because “black man, black music”??

[quote]Jason van Wyk wrote:
Are you saying if every time the camera cut to a black man some sort of 80s Shaft music, jamaican drum or rendition of “fuck the police” played, that would be fine, because “black man, black music”?? [/quote]

The guy was supposed to be a samurai so they played samurai style music. I can’t remember but I wouldn’t doubt they played some sort of African style drum music when the death squad guy was on the screen at least once. I don’t see why that’s such a big deal?

These characters were SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYING A STEREOTYPE. it’s just a movie. Quit reading so deeply into things

it was a movie that was terrible… thank god inception comes out this week. this summer has been a disappointment.

It was ok.
How can Yakuza be samurai?
The scene with them in the field was fucking retarded. How did the 2 foot long predator blades not completely fuck that samurai sword?

Its not like its going to be fucking Citizen Kane. The plot and premise of the movie itself almost handicaps it from the get-go. Requires a certain degree of suspension of disbelief.

Haven’t seen the film yet. Debating on hitting the matinee. Need questions answered.

  1. Did Fatty Patty Fishburne pwn 3 aliens or 3 Predators?

  2. How is the mini-gun operator supposed to be a bad ass if he can’t manage to kill Adrian Brody with a sneak attack and 5000 rounds of ammunition?

  3. Are the Predators retarded? Is the planet reserved for special-ed Predators? Is that why humans are brought to the planet instead of dropping 1 Predator into unknown territory and watching kill a couple dozen bastards?

  4. Where does Adrian Brody’s death rank on a scale of “Jumps on a Grenade” to “He was skull-fucked to death by an alien species”?

[quote]schultzie wrote:
Its not like its going to be fucking Citizen Kane. The plot and premise of the movie itself almost handicaps it from the get-go. Requires a certain degree of suspension of disbelief.[/quote]

Have you seen it? It is fucking terrible. Everyone I know personally who’s seen it thought it sucked, with the exception of one person who thought it was just alright. It is laughably bad. Biggest movie letdown in a long time.

[quote]Bujo wrote:
Haven’t seen the film yet. Debating on hitting the matinee. Need questions answered.

  1. Did Fatty Patty Fishburne pwn 3 aliens or 3 Predators?

  2. How is the mini-gun operator supposed to be a bad ass if he can’t manage to kill Adrian Brody with a sneak attack and 5000 rounds of ammunition?

  3. Are the Predators retarded? Is the planet reserved for special-ed Predators? Is that why humans are brought to the planet instead of dropping 1 Predator into unknown territory and watching kill a couple dozen bastards?

  4. Where does Adrian Brody’s death rank on a scale of “Jumps on a Grenade” to “He was skull-fucked to death by an alien species”?
    [/quote]

I’m not gonna answer your questions if you plan on seeing the movie, just prepare to be severly disappointed. If you’re not gonna see it, I’ll fire away.

[quote]Bujo wrote:
Haven’t seen the film yet. Debating on hitting the matinee. Need questions answered.

  1. Did Fatty Patty Fishburne pwn 3 aliens or 3 Predators?
    [/quote]

2-3 Predators

He wasn’t actually shooting at Adrian Brody.

Humans are not the only ones brought to the planet. Other aliens are brought to the planet.

Adrian doesn’t die.

[quote]legendaryblaze wrote:
How can Yakuza be samurai?
[/quote]

The Yakuza is what became of the Samurai after they were no longer needed.

I said “debating” as in currently undecided. I saw some previews and an interview with Adrian Brody, but was left unimpressed.

In Predator 1 & 2 I felt like the Predator was a professional fighter/badass (boxer / MMA) going out on his own to prove his mettle. This new Predators movie strikes me more like hanging up a pinata at a 9-yr-old’s birthday party (where child = predator and pinata = humans). Canned hunt might be a better term.

So which is it?

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]Bujo wrote:
Haven’t seen the film yet. Debating on hitting the matinee. Need questions answered.

  1. Did Fatty Patty Fishburne pwn 3 aliens or 3 Predators?
    [/quote]

2-3 Predators

He wasn’t actually shooting at Adrian Brody.

Humans are not the only ones brought to the planet. Other aliens are brought to the planet.

Adrian doesn’t die.[/quote]

Uh, yeah he WAS actually shooting at Brody and Trejo.

[quote]jck524 wrote:
Wow that movie was fucking terrible. I read the first predators review and since everyone thought it was awesome I went to see it. WTF WERE YOU ALL SEEING THAT I WASNT?

Here is why it sucked:

  1. The movie just throws a bunch of stereotypes together.

  2. You would think since the girl was such a badass she would have no problem leaving someone behind, BUT NO SHES A CHICK AND THE GIRLS ALWAYS GET EMOTIONAL! EVEN THE FUCKING BAD ASS ONES.

  3. The asian dude literally had 2 sentences in the entire movie.

  4. Whenever the movie cut to the asian dude it brought in the typical asian sounding music, seriously wtf…

  5. Morpheus THE ONLY FUCKING GOOD CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE, dies like its nothing! You would think since he has pwnd like 3 aliens they would give him more respect and fight him 1v1 hand to hand but no he just gets blasted the fuck away.

  6. The fight scene with the asian dude and the alien was absolutely TERRIBLE, i felt like i was watching kill bill and the asian dude was one of the crazy 88s and just runs so fucking comically at the alien, seriously go watch one of the bourne movies and make a fight scene better than that shit.

  7. THE MOVIE IS TERRIBLE AvP and AvP 2 are 10 times better. [/quote]

  8. What is wrong with stereotypes?

  9. How the fuck is she emotional? Ever heard of never leave a man behind?

  10. Of course he had two sentences, I don’t know if you listened to the first one, but he explains he doesn’t talk much, because he used to talk too much and got two fingers cut off.

  11. You are a retard.

  12. Why would they give them respect, he is fucking game to them. Second off, they probably don’t know who he is since he has been there for 10 seasons.

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:
Bujo wrote:
Haven’t seen the film yet. Debating on hitting the matinee. Need questions answered.

  1. Did Fatty Patty Fishburne pwn 3 aliens or 3 Predators?

2-3 Predators[/quote]

Hmmm. Never knew Hostess snack cakes was the preferred food of badasses

[quote]
2. How is the mini-gun operator supposed to be a bad ass if he can’t manage to kill Adrian Brody with a sneak attack and 5000 rounds of ammunition?

He wasn’t actually shooting at Adrian Brody.[/quote]

Hmmm. Ok. Congrats to him for not shooting something he wasn’t aiming at.

[quote]
3. Are the Predators retarded? Is the planet reserved for special-ed Predators? Is that why humans are brought to the planet instead of dropping 1 Predator into unknown territory and watching kill a couple dozen bastards?

Humans are not the only ones brought to the planet. Other aliens are brought to the planet.[/quote]
So are they retarded or not?

[quote]
4. Where does Adrian Brody’s death rank on a scale of “Jumps on a Grenade” to “He was skull-fucked to death by an alien species”?

Adrian doesn’t die.[/quote]
Balls! There goes half the reason I wanted to see this film in the first place.

[quote]Bujo wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:
4. Where does Adrian Brody’s death rank on a scale of “Jumps on a Grenade” to “He was skull-fucked to death by an alien species”?

Adrian doesn’t die.[/quote]
Balls! There goes half the reason I wanted to see this film in the first place.[/quote]

I thought Adrian Brody actually did a good job in this movie.