I got to thinking after reading about the Worst of the Worst thread and the “three guys one hammer.”
It almost makes me physically ill to know it isn’t safe to leave your 14 year old son with a friend to go fishing because some fucked up kids might bash his face in with a hammer.
I heard an old story a few years back about a man who abducted a five-year-old boy, raped him, and cut off his genitalia. The guy then left the kid somewhere and the child was found wandering around crying, trying to process what had just happened. I tried to empathize with the child, but I cannot imagine how scared and lonely he must have felt when he realized he was being taken from his parents to be tortured. At the time, my nephew (who is more like a younger brother or son to me) was four. I couldn’t sleep well for days.
Many nights I have lay awake in my bed, unable to sleep because I worry about him. I worry that it isn’t safe for him at school or at daycare, because nobody can care for him enough to watch him as closely as his family would. I worry that someday he will come into contact with these sick people, and there will be nothing in my power I can do to stop it. I worry for and about his life all the time.
In almost every aspect I consider myself to be strong. I have always been able to bounce from low times and “roll with the punches” as the saying goes. This is why it is very difficult for me to admit that I do not think I am strong enough to go through some of the emotional pain many unlucky parents have had to go through. I just couldn’t handle it. Maybe I am overly pessimistic, or maybe I think too much, but I honestly don’t know whether or not I can ever have children of my own after I hear stories like these.