T Nation

Raising Children in a Cruel World

I got to thinking after reading about the Worst of the Worst thread and the “three guys one hammer.”

It almost makes me physically ill to know it isn’t safe to leave your 14 year old son with a friend to go fishing because some fucked up kids might bash his face in with a hammer.

I heard an old story a few years back about a man who abducted a five-year-old boy, raped him, and cut off his genitalia. The guy then left the kid somewhere and the child was found wandering around crying, trying to process what had just happened. I tried to empathize with the child, but I cannot imagine how scared and lonely he must have felt when he realized he was being taken from his parents to be tortured. At the time, my nephew (who is more like a younger brother or son to me) was four. I couldn’t sleep well for days.

Many nights I have lay awake in my bed, unable to sleep because I worry about him. I worry that it isn’t safe for him at school or at daycare, because nobody can care for him enough to watch him as closely as his family would. I worry that someday he will come into contact with these sick people, and there will be nothing in my power I can do to stop it. I worry for and about his life all the time.

In almost every aspect I consider myself to be strong. I have always been able to bounce from low times and “roll with the punches” as the saying goes. This is why it is very difficult for me to admit that I do not think I am strong enough to go through some of the emotional pain many unlucky parents have had to go through. I just couldn’t handle it. Maybe I am overly pessimistic, or maybe I think too much, but I honestly don’t know whether or not I can ever have children of my own after I hear stories like these.

…children in the 1st world are a luxury, not necessaty. Worry comes with the territory, if you can’t accept that then don’t have children. Or move to Canada and raise your children there (-:

You’ll do! Prepare him for the cruel world. Then you will have piece of mind and he will be thirty.

Is all we can do is our best, good luck!

You’d probably do your son/nephew a favour by not thinking those sort of thoughts. Those events aren’t ‘that’ common, they may seem to be because when they happen you always hear about it. You don’t hear about people walking down the street whistling happy tunes because people don’t want to hear that.

[quote]hardgnr wrote:
You’d probably do your son/nephew a favour by not thinking those sort of thoughts. Those events aren’t ‘that’ common, they may seem to be because when they happen you always hear about it. You don’t hear about people walking down the street whistling happy tunes because people don’t want to hear that. [/quote]

Agree.

While it is good to be aware of such things, as long as you don’t live in a really shitty area, then it’s quite rare.

The news likes to put the emphasis on the bad parts of our society, and not on the good things. How many times a year does this happen? It’s not common, I’ll tell you that.

There will always be some sick fucks around, you can’t do anything about that.

I can commiserate with how upsetting you find these kind of things. A couple of days ago I read the thread “Worst of the worst”. Just reading about the videos without watching them was enough to upset me and make me feel sick.

I have two children and I think you feel helpless no matter where you live or how you raise them. Clearly, if you live somewhere like Darfur, your children stand a much higher likelihood of something bad happening.

However, one thing I noticed the instant I had my older daughter is the sense of vulnerability. Suddenly there is this other person, who is an extension of you, out in the world. You can do your best to protect them but I really don’t think you ever feel secure.

the city i live in was ranked one of the top cities in MA to raise kids. i dont know how that happened though cause half the kids i see are on droogs

Yeah my bad; I was in one of those I-hate-this-fucked-up-world moods last night. Feeling better today.

But I still hope anybody who harms innocent children for pleasure will die a slow and painful death.

[quote]ktennies wrote:
This is why it is very difficult for me to admit that I do not think I am strong enough to go through some of the emotional pain many unlucky parents have had to go through. I just couldn’t handle it.

Maybe I am overly pessimistic, or maybe I think too much, but I honestly don’t know whether or not I can ever have children of my own after I hear stories like these.
[/quote]

The world is no crueler now than it has ever been. Just get your kids helmets when they are born and they will be fine.

I hear ya ktennies.

One must take the whole picture into account though. For every unfortunate event, how many BILLION other events on earth go just fine? Hey, I know: one shit is one too much, but we need to not overemphasize some things over others.

Similarly, many people buy lottery tickets… Why? Well: you see winners ALL over the place! On TV, in the paper, magazines, radio, etc. If every person who bought a lotto ticket and lost was to have his-her 20 seconds of glory in the media, we’d literally be spending DAYS, non-stop, watching testimonials of losers. And that’s just for one draw.

Just a thought: Energy flows where attention goes. Take care man!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpvlHjFICd0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjMiRhvZGmw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPqq3DAgEYU&feature=related

Most important is the 3rd part, it was a good episode though, pretty dead on.

I would not fear cruelty from individuals so much as the cruelty that can and probably will come between nation as consequence of geopolitical squabbles outside of our control.