[quote]hardgnr wrote:
MightyMaus wrote:
Here you go, dumbness on left. Halloween party a couple years ago.
I’d hit it[/quote]
But she doesnt have a face!
[quote]ahzaz wrote:
hardgnr wrote:
MightyMaus wrote:
Here you go, dumbness on left. Halloween party a couple years ago.
I’d hit it
But she doesnt have a face![/quote]
what’s the point of a face? well, besides a mouth
As I have no life, I brought you another quote:
<@Yenkaz> “You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.”
<@Yenkaz> i mean… wtf
<@Yenkaz> I’d admire anyone capable of using itunes to produce any weapon of mass destruction
[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
ahzaz wrote:
hardgnr wrote:
MightyMaus wrote:
Here you go, dumbness on left. Halloween party a couple years ago.
I’d hit it
But she doesnt have a face!
what’s the point of a face? well, besides a mouth[/quote]
Target board.
we ain’t here to do e-c-e
we’re here to do c-s-e on the w-e-b
listen to me spit these rhymes
while i program lines
and commit web accessibility crimes
word, son
You talk like your big on these I-Net kicks,
But your shit flows slower than a two-eighty-six.
I’m tracking down hosts and nmap scans,
While Code Igniter’s got you wringing your hands.
Cut the crap rap,
Or I’ll run ettercap,
Grab your AIM chat,
N’ send a PC bitch-slap!
peace
you’re talkin bout down hosts and nmap scans
while i got other plans
you’re at your new job, but you can’t even do it right
you just create a plight with your http rewrites
i’ve been on the web since the age of three
you just got on directly off the bus from mississippi
respect yo’ elders, bitch
You’ve been webbin’ since three, but still ain’t grown up,
Gotta update your config and send the brain a SIGHUP.
You say you’re that old? No wonder you’re slow!
You’re knocking at the door while I run this show!
Elders my ass, you’re shit’s still in school,
Hunt and pecking at the keyboard like a spaghetti-damned fool,
Rim-riffing your hard drive like a tool,
Face it. I rule.
i erase my harddrives with magnets (bitch)
all you can do is troll on the fagnets
and son, my brain’s wrapped in a nohup
it wont be hurt by the words you throwup
dont mind me while i emerge my ownage
while you’re still over there apt-getting your porridge
you say i’m still in school
but the fact is that i know the rule
cuz you need to go back to grade three
and you better plea, that they take sucky graduates from c-s-e
Time to bend over and apply a patch,
Your brain’s throwing static like a CD with a scratch.
Your connection got nuked and you’ve met your match.
You run a single process like a VAX with a batch.
I’d pass the torch to a real winner
But it’d just scorch a while-loop spinner
Caught in a loop that you cant escape,
I run clock cycles around your words and flows,
Cuz your rhyme is like a PS fan: it’ blows,
Your water-cooled lyrics leak and it shows,
Take your ass back to alt.paid.for.windows.
Good god, I can’t even respond to that. 
You win haha
- http402 takes a bow
Woah, I got the weirdest moment of my entire life this morning
what happened?
you know, there was a party at my neighbours’ last night
yeah, you’ve been fucking drunk…
you’ve been there, too?
sure…
well, you see i can’t remember anything
but this morning I woke up in my bed, and there was my mom lying next to me.
wtf…?
That’s exactly what i thought
So, my mom got up instantly when i woke up, smiled at me and said “U’re so much better than your dad is.” then she left the room
OMFG!!!
you didnt do that! TELL ME IT WASNT LIKE THAT!!! TELL ME YOU’RE A DUMBASS LIAR!!!
no, i’m not lying
OMG!!!
but it turned out she was playing a trick on me. Paycheck for coming home late, all drunk.
…
your mom’s such a freak. o.O
[quote]Squiggles wrote:
Woah, I got the weirdest moment of my entire life this morning
what happened?
you know, there was a party at my neighbours’ last night
yeah, you’ve been fucking drunk…
you’ve been there, too?
sure…
well, you see i can’t remember anything
but this morning I woke up in my bed, and there was my mom lying next to me.
wtf…?
That’s exactly what i thought
So, my mom got up instantly when i woke up, smiled at me and said “U’re so much better than your dad is.” then she left the room
OMFG!!!
you didnt do that! TELL ME IT WASNT LIKE THAT!!! TELL ME YOU’RE A DUMBASS LIAR!!!
no, i’m not lying
OMG!!!
but it turned out she was playing a trick on me. Paycheck for coming home late, all drunk.
…
your mom’s such a freak. o.O[/quote]
BURN!!!
Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word “wand” with “wang” in the first Harry Potter Book
Let’s see the results…
“Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?” asked Harry.
"Oh, well – I was at Hogwarts meself but I – er – got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an’ everything
A magic wang… this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
“Yes, yes. I thought I’d be seeing you soon. Harry Potter.” It wasn’t a question. “You have your mother’s eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work.”
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
“Oh, move over,” Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry’s wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
The troll couldn’t feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry’s wang had still been in his hand when he’d jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll’s nostrils.
He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
Ok
I have found, definitive proof
that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
“Yes,” Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding… Any second now, he might hear his mother again… but he shouldn’t think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn’t want to… or did he?
O_______O
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
‘Get - off - me!’ Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
Wow, these two made me laugh:
The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, “OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!”
wtf are donut seeds
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- OH FUCK ME
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- I FORGOT TO PICK UP MY 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FROM SOCCER PRACTICE
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- 9 HOURS AGO
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- HOLY SHIT
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- BYE
DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you’re a great guy, but I don’t like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you.
We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
<third_planet> The other night my friend had some pot and wanted me to smoke it with him, but we had nowhere to smoke it because both our parents were home.
So we drove around looking for a place to park so we could smoke in the car.
We eventually settled on a Wendys parking lot…
The logic is all there…
I know, it was a ridiculous idea. We were just desperate and that was the first place to pull off…
So we park in the back of the parking lot under this tree, and it’s dark out, so we figure we’re secluded enough. We start to light up and a cop pulls in. So we both sit really still and hope the cop will think the car is empty and just parked there. Or that he won’t notice.
The cop circles the parking lot once, then parks behind us and we’re both freaking out. So Bobby, my friend, takes all the pot and shoves it in the glove compartment. But the car smells like pot, so we figure we’re busted.
So Bobby says we’ve gotta distract the cop from the pot. In a huge flash, he rips his shirt off, undoes my pants and sticks his hand inside. Before I can process what’s happening, the cop knocks on my window. Then he looks in and sees Bobby shirtless, with his hand down my pants and turns bright red.
I roll my window down and the cop says in this really flustered voice, his face bright red, “you guys be good now” and walks quickly back to his car and drives off.
He didn’t even notice the smell of pot.
We drove home in the most uncomfortable fucking silence ever.