Question for Fellow Parents / Teachers

Off Topic
21

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
As some of you know, I have a 5 year old. Long story short…parent-teacher conferences are this week and I informed the teacher that I wanted my son to attend. The reason for this is that I want to teach him to become engaged in his education (and things that directly affect him) and I don’t want a “filter” when discussing his performance. There are no major issues that I’m aware of and his report card was good. I just want him to “participate”, particularly as it concerns a minor behavioral issue he has in terms of working independently and not disturbing others.

The teacher discussed my intention with the principal and I am meeting resistance. No explanation, just an “against policy” and it’s a “parent-teacher” conference and not a “parent-teacher-student” conference. No shit - as if I needed the literal distinction spelled out to me while ignoring the practical explanation for resistance.

I’m truly bewildered and looking for a second opinion and maybe a teacher’s perspective. Why shouldn’t this open communication be ENCOURAGED among teacher/parent/student? What is the practical need for a “filter”??? Seems to me the conference would be much more valuable if the student attended.

What am I missing here? I"m not interested in debating my parenting decision. I’m interested in knowing what the hell the problem is…[/quote]

The crux of modern education is more about compliance than learning. If your kid becomes involved in his own education he might start thinking, and that is a big NO-NO in compulsory education.

You have already violated rule number one by not doing exactly what you were supposed to. This can easily be construed by the educators as either a lack of ability to follow instructions or as outright defiance, hence the glib brush off referral to policy and statement of the obvious.

[/quote]

LOL but you’re right. And I honestly think they have no fucking clue how to communicate with informed and educated adults. They spend their days communicating with children and forget when they are actually addressing a fellow ADULT. [/quote]

They don’t even want to communicate with adults. In a lot of educators (teachers, principals) minds, the last thing they need is some nosy blowhard parent who doesn’t “understand” making their job any harder than it is already.

You sound like you are becoming “problematic”. As word travels from teacher to teacher and year to year there will be no doubt as to where the kid gets it from. (thats all tongue in cheek)

I went through this wringer starting in about fourth grade when I was being taught how to add whole numbers again after mastering multiplication and division the previous year. Then my dad started asking some valid and very hard to answer questions.

Then I became “problematic”.

[/quote]

My daughter is going to start problematic. Nearly finished the kindergarten curriculum, just turned 3. I have been worried about her schooling for a year now. I am afraid she will get bored in school.[/quote]

Lol sorry Ag this just makes me chuckle. I forgot what its like to have a 3 year old.

You wearing Burnt orange this week? :)[/quote]

I do not believe that our gentlemen’s agreement was ever finalized.

22

Thats certainly true Ag

23

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:

My daughter is going to start problematic. Nearly finished the kindergarten curriculum, just turned 3. I have been worried about her schooling for a year now. I am afraid she will get bored in school.[/quote]

That is a legitimate concern. If it’s financially feasible, I’d look toward private education geared toward accelerated learning.

I plan on having kids shortly, and if they are anything like me or my wife, I don’t know what I’m going to do.
[/quote]

We are considering that, though home schooling is a possibility but I worry more for kid than my ability to do it.

24

I have my kids with me at all conferences. For a while I home-schooled my eldest because the schools where we lived at the time were fucking retarded. I tried private school and found it to be WORSE than the public school in terms of “douchebagery” and political correctness. So I said fuck them and did it at home. I put him back in public school about two years ago.

Skysyks is right about them wanting to deal with parents who just do what they’re told and that they get intimidated by ANYONE who thinks outside the box (especially if you are bigger/stronger/smarter than them). I’ve found it VERY challenging dealing with “education people”. To top it off, my MOTHER was a teacher (and you all know how much I “luv” her! /sarcasm) so I’m sure I bring a little bit of that baggage to the table as well.

MOST educators in America are pussies that are teaching our kids to be pussies. They want us to just sit back and let the “nanny state” raise a bunch of dull automatons who will go out and get shit jobs, vote for democrats and buy shit from Walmart. That is the function of the educational system in the US right now. To be honest, I’ve had my kid reading the Great Books since sixth grade or so and have him doing the Kumon math series now because I DON’T TRUST them to educate my kid to the standard I believe is necessary to succeed.

But bucking the system will only get he and you labeled as troublemakers, which could have negative repercussions as well. I’ve had my kid jump through the hoops, check all the “right” boxes, etc… all the while teaching him how futile it is (and he sees it, he’s 14 and very smart). But he knows who his “REAL” teacher is: ME. He is accountable to ME and he takes that very seriously. I would suggest a similar path for anyone with young kids entering the educational system in today’s times.

25

^^ duly noted. I do not water down explanations to my daughter. I think kids can tell when their parents/teachers/adults talk down to them.

26

I believe there needs to be a clear distinction between the education system and the educators such as my wife that live and breathe trying to teach her children correctly and prepare them with the tools to succeed in life. Unfortunately the EDUCATION SYSTEM not only STIFLES our children but our TEACHERS as well. Unfortunately many children’s parents do not have the tools, resources or simply the time to surplus their children’s education. The children that my wife teaches only have her to look to for knowledge and preparation for life. She takes this very seriously and with every ounce of her being, too much than I would like her too. However she receives very few kudos from the media as they are lumped in with the American Education System and their persistence on worrying about test scores and idiotic standards

I wish all students had a teacher like my wife and many of her colleagues, they care more than many parents unfortunately.

27

I wouldn’t worry about it, you can always arrange a parent-teacher-student meeting at another time.

28

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
I believe there needs to be a clear distinction between the education system and the educators such as my wife that live and breathe trying to teach her children correctly and prepare them with the tools to succeed in life. Unfortunately the EDUCATION SYSTEM not only STIFLES our children but our TEACHERS as well. Unfortunately many children’s parents do not have the tools, resources or simply the time to surplus their children’s education. The children that my wife teaches only have her to look to for knowledge and preparation for life. She takes this very seriously and with every ounce of her being, too much than I would like her too. However she receives very few kudos from the media as they are lumped in with the American Education System and their persistence on worrying about test scores and idiotic standards

I wish all students had a teacher like my wife and many of her colleagues, they care more than many parents unfortunately.[/quote]

+1

Public schools suck because the system forces them to teach to a set of tests instead of allowing the teachers to do their jobs.

Parents are definitely to blame as well.

If that is indeed the policy at that school then why not find a different school? How is that school at different times? In other words can you go in and ask how he’s doing throughout the year? Does this feedback happen only at these select times or is it continuous?

james

29

I taught high school for 12 years (private Catholic all boys school) and had plenty of instances where a parent brought their child in with them. It was never a problem and no one had to ask permission to do it. I always looked at it as a chance to either compliment the kid in front of his parents or come up with a plan that involved both the parent and the child to help him improve. It was always constructive. There were a few times where the parent brought the kid in and wanted to rip him a new one but I was always able make it more constructive than if the parent(s) just came by themselves and then went home and ripped the kid. The goal is to do what is necessary to help the kid improve. Nothing else matters. The fact that you want the kid there and are meeting resistance is absurd.

BTW, most of the parents I met with were parents of “A” students. I wonder why their kids always had high grades…

30

[quote]atypical1 wrote:

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
I believe there needs to be a clear distinction between the education system and the educators such as my wife that live and breathe trying to teach her children correctly and prepare them with the tools to succeed in life. Unfortunately the EDUCATION SYSTEM not only STIFLES our children but our TEACHERS as well. Unfortunately many children’s parents do not have the tools, resources or simply the time to surplus their children’s education. The children that my wife teaches only have her to look to for knowledge and preparation for life. She takes this very seriously and with every ounce of her being, too much than I would like her too. However she receives very few kudos from the media as they are lumped in with the American Education System and their persistence on worrying about test scores and idiotic standards

I wish all students had a teacher like my wife and many of her colleagues, they care more than many parents unfortunately.[/quote]

+1

Public schools suck because the system forces them to teach to a set of tests instead of allowing the teachers to do their jobs.

Parents are definitely to blame as well.

If that is indeed the policy at that school then why not find a different school? How is that school at different times? In other words can you go in and ask how he’s doing throughout the year? Does this feedback happen only at these select times or is it continuous?

james
[/quote]

True James, for example my wife has a school board quality review this coming Thursday, and its all drivel and posturing for the principal to make sure her school receives a passing grade, its taking away from her real purpose teaching children, its maddening what BS her principal makes her do at the expense of her time in the classroom. I understand their has to be some checks and balances but the amount of undue pressure it is causing is ridiculous.

31

[quote]krg1604 wrote:
I taught high school for 12 years (private Catholic all boys school) and had plenty of instances where a parent brought their child in with them. It was never a problem and no one had to ask permission to do it. I always looked at it as a chance to either compliment the kid in front of his parents or come up with a plan that involved both the parent and the child to help him improve. It was always constructive. There were a few times where the parent brought the kid in and wanted to rip him a new one but I was always able make it more constructive than if the parent(s) just came by themselves and then went home and ripped the kid. The goal is to do what is necessary to help the kid improve. Nothing else matters. The fact that you want the kid there and are meeting resistance is absurd.

BTW, most of the parents I met with were parents of “A” students. I wonder why their kids always had high grades…[/quote]

yeah I wonder why lol

32

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
As some of you know, I have a 5 year old. Long story short…parent-teacher conferences are this week and I informed the teacher that I wanted my son to attend. The reason for this is that I want to teach him to become engaged in his education (and things that directly affect him) and I don’t want a “filter” when discussing his performance. There are no major issues that I’m aware of and his report card was good. I just want him to “participate”, particularly as it concerns a minor behavioral issue he has in terms of working independently and not disturbing others.

The teacher discussed my intention with the principal and I am meeting resistance. No explanation, just an “against policy” and it’s a “parent-teacher” conference and not a “parent-teacher-student” conference. No shit - as if I needed the literal distinction spelled out to me while ignoring the practical explanation for resistance.

I’m truly bewildered and looking for a second opinion and maybe a teacher’s perspective. Why shouldn’t this open communication be ENCOURAGED among teacher/parent/student? What is the practical need for a “filter”??? Seems to me the conference would be much more valuable if the student attended.

What am I missing here? I"m not interested in debating my parenting decision. I’m interested in knowing what the hell the problem is…[/quote]

Aside from our usual arguments, oh, a pic is coming tonight, by the way. anyways, Since your son has to deal with these teachers on a daily basis, not sure if it would be a good idea. but, if you feel its important, then they should oblige you.

33

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I agree that you want to teach him to become engaged in his education, but he’s 5… FIVE. How engaged can he truly be with all 3 of you siting down together?

Frankly, I’m a bit confused as to why a parent-teacher conference is even scheduled if there are no major issues. [/quote]

It’s not a question of “how engaged” but rather introducing him to the concept of accountability and being able to talk to socialize with adults. If his teacher tells me he sometimes has trouble not disturbing others for instance, I rather him hear it from her while I’m there as opposed to me “filtering” it later so that he can process it and become part of the direct solution. At 5 I think they understand a bit more than you may be giving them credit for…I know it’s been a long time for you.[/quote]

If hes disturbing others in anyway, I’m sure the teachers tell him whenever it occurs. It might have more power behind it, if you told him and explained to him also.

34

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
I’m interested in knowing what the hell the problem is…[/quote]

The problem is the teacher may not want to speak freely in front of the child.

In particular, early-elementary teachers are taught not to use/say negative things in front of kids. This is because little kids don’t have the ability to see more than black and white.

Your kid may be 99% good, but a good teacher will tell you (the parent) also about the 1% bad, which you, as an adult, will put into perspective — and also work on.

A little kid will freak and focus only on the negative.

(And yes, I am a parent.)

35

It HAS been a long time. But my son was already reading by age 3… smart as a whip.

And in that, by age 5 he would already understand that people can discuss his progress him without him being present.

I’m not against a trio. I’m just not placing all that much importance on it… unless there’s an issue.

36

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
As some of you know, I have a 5 year old. Long story short…parent-teacher conferences are this week and I informed the teacher that I wanted my son to attend. The reason for this is that I want to teach him to become engaged in his education (and things that directly affect him) and I don’t want a “filter” when discussing his performance. There are no major issues that I’m aware of and his report card was good. I just want him to “participate”, particularly as it concerns a minor behavioral issue he has in terms of working independently and not disturbing others.

The teacher discussed my intention with the principal and I am meeting resistance. No explanation, just an “against policy” and it’s a “parent-teacher” conference and not a “parent-teacher-student” conference. No shit - as if I needed the literal distinction spelled out to me while ignoring the practical explanation for resistance.

I’m truly bewildered and looking for a second opinion and maybe a teacher’s perspective. Why shouldn’t this open communication be ENCOURAGED among teacher/parent/student? What is the practical need for a “filter”??? Seems to me the conference would be much more valuable if the student attended.

What am I missing here? I"m not interested in debating my parenting decision. I’m interested in knowing what the hell the problem is…[/quote]

The crux of modern education is more about compliance than learning. If your kid becomes involved in his own education he might start thinking, and that is a big NO-NO in compulsory education.

You have already violated rule number one by not doing exactly what you were supposed to. This can easily be construed by the educators as either a lack of ability to follow instructions or as outright defiance, hence the glib brush off referral to policy and statement of the obvious.

[/quote]

LOL but you’re right. And I honestly think they have no fucking clue how to communicate with informed and educated adults. They spend their days communicating with children and forget when they are actually addressing a fellow ADULT. [/quote]

They don’t even want to communicate with adults. In a lot of educators (teachers, principals) minds, the last thing they need is some nosy blowhard parent who doesn’t “understand” making their job any harder than it is already.

You sound like you are becoming “problematic”. As word travels from teacher to teacher and year to year there will be no doubt as to where the kid gets it from. (thats all tongue in cheek)

I went through this wringer starting in about fourth grade when I was being taught how to add whole numbers again after mastering multiplication and division the previous year. Then my dad started asking some valid and very hard to answer questions.

Then I became “problematic”.

[/quote]

My daughter is going to start problematic. Nearly finished the kindergarten curriculum, just turned 3. I have been worried about her schooling for a year now. I am afraid she will get bored in school.[/quote]

Perhaps you could look into seeing if she can skip a grade unless you feel strongly against it. Kindergarten might be rough to skip I suppose, but we advanced both my kids a year because they weren’t challenged in their classes and its been a solid decision.

37

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
I believe there needs to be a clear distinction between the education system and the educators such as my wife that live and breathe trying to teach her children correctly and prepare them with the tools to succeed in life. Unfortunately the EDUCATION SYSTEM not only STIFLES our children but our TEACHERS as well. Unfortunately many children’s parents do not have the tools, resources or simply the time to surplus their children’s education. The children that my wife teaches only have her to look to for knowledge and preparation for life. She takes this very seriously and with every ounce of her being, too much than I would like her too. However she receives very few kudos from the media as they are lumped in with the American Education System and their persistence on worrying about test scores and idiotic standards

I wish all students had a teacher like my wife and many of her colleagues, they care more than many parents unfortunately.[/quote]

Yeah, my wife was a teacher too, until she inadvertently ran up against the wall of favoritism. Another tenured teaches son was a complete asshole And neglected his assignments, so he failed. But in his mothers (tenured teacher) eyes, my wife was just being bossy and had a problem with the kid. So older teacher turned it into a territorial pissing/popularity contest with the principal.

Solution- Everything will be just fine if she gets fucked in to the in-group by the principal, but if not, she had to go elsewhere.

She went elsewhere.

So I guess you have a point with the system and it’s stifling, but you should also ask who is that system, who is doing the stifling, and who is it being done to?

I’ve found that the people that care the most usually have to leave out of frustration or quit caring, and that is not just a case study of 1. That has been from a good hand full of people I’ve known who have moved on into other fields or have given up on giving a shit.

38

^^ considered that but she is really really small for her age (we are looking into that). The last doctor said she sounds about like a five year old but looks like a two year old. As of now, skipping grades probably would not be allowed by the school. I’ve talk to a.couple sets of parents whose kids were.not allowed to advance despite already mastering skills above grade levels. Something about not wanting to put the kid in danger, embarrassing other kids… More reasons to avoid that school, which is the good school in the area.

We are looking to move into a better school district (state) if a new job can be had.

39

My wife and I take our kids along with us to the conferences. They sit outside the classrooms while we meet with their teachers. That way if there is any reason to bring the kid into the conversation to clarify something, they are right there. We have always done this. There has never been a surprise, but then again, we are in regular contact with all of their teachers and are updated daily on homework assignments and test scores.

40

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
I have my kids with me at all conferences. For a while I home-schooled my eldest because the schools where we lived at the time were fucking retarded. I tried private school and found it to be WORSE than the public school in terms of “douchebagery” and political correctness. So I said fuck them and did it at home. I put him back in public school about two years ago.

Skysyks is right about them wanting to deal with parents who just do what they’re told and that they get intimidated by ANYONE who thinks outside the box (especially if you are bigger/stronger/smarter than them). I’ve found it VERY challenging dealing with “education people”. To top it off, my MOTHER was a teacher (and you all know how much I “luv” her! /sarcasm) so I’m sure I bring a little bit of that baggage to the table as well.

MOST educators in America are pussies that are teaching our kids to be pussies. They want us to just sit back and let the “nanny state” raise a bunch of dull automatons who will go out and get shit jobs, vote for democrats and buy shit from Walmart. That is the function of the educational system in the US right now. To be honest, I’ve had my kid reading the Great Books since sixth grade or so and have him doing the Kumon math series now because I DON’T TRUST them to educate my kid to the standard I believe is necessary to succeed.

But bucking the system will only get he and you labeled as troublemakers, which could have negative repercussions as well. I’ve had my kid jump through the hoops, check all the “right” boxes, etc… all the while teaching him how futile it is (and he sees it, he’s 14 and very smart). But he knows who his “REAL” teacher is: ME. He is accountable to ME and he takes that very seriously. I would suggest a similar path for anyone with young kids entering the educational system in today’s times.[/quote]

We need to talk about this. I’ll hit you tomorrow.