T Nation

Question about women

Every once in a while people ask random unrelated questions, but I’d like a perspective from the guys here. For a 22yr old, how many men would u guys consider a lot for a woman to have slept with? Would 8 be considered a lot? 1 was a random vacation, some were with boyfriends and others I don’t know for sure. It was only 3 dates until we started and I’m #8, does anyone else get bothered but stuff like this or should I not care. I should also mention it’s twice as many people than I’ve been with, by choice, mind u. The girl has her act together, will have a great job soon but is often an emotional wreck.

When women say 8, it’s usually 12-16. :slight_smile: If she let you hit it after 3 dates, chances are she isn’t looking for a long-term relationship anyhow. Adding the fact that she is an emotional wreck, as you say, I wouldn’t put much into this other than having a “fuck buddy”. But, to answer your question, 8 really isn’t that many. I think there does seem to be a correlation though. After 10, I’d say she’s less and less likely to be a catch.

I’m my girls #10. 2 of her 10 were women. Everytime anything bisexual or lesbianish comes up on TV or movies, it drives me ape shit. She says the women thing was an identity crisis and she would never consider it again, but I’m not sure if one could do that. If I fucked a guy and then decided it was a mistake and would never do it again, I’d puke my guts out everyday until I blew my brains out. I used to be jealous of her and other guys, now it’s other guys and any of her female friends!!! Damn life’s a bitch. And on top of that 10! people, skank!!

8 for the night?

Just remember ask for the virgin who is good in the sack. Is the same as the guy who asks how do I gain 12 pounds of mass fat free.

You say ‘often an emotional wreck.’ ummm remember that.

I think our first instinct as men is to go after the woman with the least sexual partners, to go after the yummy virgins. It’s all mental. When it comes down to more than 4, I’d say it comes down to who she’s doing it with. I mean, I’d much rather be with a chick who’s been with 6 guys who were boyfriends for a year each rather than the chick who banged 6 guys, but none were real relationships- just drunk gangbangs or some shit. This only applies for chicks you are considering as a girlfriend. Just to bang a broad, it dosen’t matter much cause its just a one or a few time things, and its better then your hand, or a fifi bag. :slight_smile:

curious, find a way to get over it. she was honest with you, and you shouldn’t punish her for it. she obviously cares about YOU, and THAT is what MATTERS! :slight_smile:

How many, and why, is none of your buisness, and I think your a wuss for asking… what do YOU care… are you worried the previous ones had bigger tools?, this question shows your own insecurity, don’t put a head-trip on her

I know I should get over it, but it’s tough. One was on a cruise in a hot tub after knowing him for 1 day, another was just a guy who pursued her and she finally gave in and decided to, the rest I think were relationships. I’m also affraid it’s more than 8, but I got this info all before we started dating and since she told me the random story, doubt she’d lie about the number and i’ve asked her 1000 times, she swears i’m #8. We’re 5hrs apart and it became too much, broke up with her 4 months ago but she’s cried almost every day since, which worries me. Flattering but hard to deal with. We’d talk but i’m not ready to settle down, but she’s got everything goin for her, looks, personality, job soon. Thing is she claimed she changed since her past guys, then it took only 3 dates to get with her, but we knew each other for about 3 weeks from work, so it wasnt completely random. Even so, seemed like she doesnt wait long to put out. God, girls drive me nuts.

If you think you may one day marry this girl, then DON’T if you have these issues. For sex, she sounds great. For a future wife or serious grilfriend, she sounds like a slut. And yes, men can be sluts, too! I wish I was one…

Look at it this way…what is most important to you?? If you want to be with a virgin fine, that’s cool. If you want someone with a bit more experience that’s cool too. But ‘your number is higher than mine’ is pretty shallow. How long ago were the one nighters? That is the important thing. I was a bit brain dead in college and did lots of things that I probably shouldn’t have. However, that was years ago and I’ve stopped being a dumb ass. So, if it was stuff she did a long time ago, let it be, if she was doing it right up until a month before she was with you, you have cause to worry. And by the way, if she’s been around that much did you think of getting tested (both of you)? Hope so!!! 'Cause there are things you can catch even WITH protection!

Bitches lie. I had a girl for almost a year only thought she had slept with 2 guys. Well we fucked after like 2 weeks and after we broke up I found out she fucked one other guy for sure and maybe another. Girls lie. That emotional shit wont get better either. Fuck her and dont get attached to her. Be what me and my friends call a terd.

You guys are horrible! You are still living the double standard and keeping women to the stigma that they are sluts if they sleep with more than “X” number of people.

Look, women have sexual appetites too. Why is it okay for a guy to sleep with 10, 20 or more women, but not okay for a woman to do the same? Why is a woman a slut if she has any sexual experience? It’s complete bullshit! I can’t believe some of you are calling her a slut because she’s had 8 partners. If it’s such a problem for you, then you need to find someone else with less sexual experience/partners. Otherwise, you’re always going to be insecure about your sexual relations with this girl.

It's been ingrained in our heads for too long that it's okay for guys to sleep with as many women as possible. Why isn't a guy a slut (Man Whore) if he sleeps with a lot of women? Why is it accepted? But women are crucified? It doesn't make sense. Our society has been like this for so long. But it needs to change. Women are more independent these days, and they are beginning to treat sex the way men do. What's wrong with that? If you're worried about the number of sexual partners your mate has had, then you need to find a way to deal with it or find someone else.

Get out while you still can!!
I’ve been there, you will find her changing her patterns with you soon enough, when that happens you can bet she is trying on some other meat head. I dated a gal like that, on X-Mass eve she did not get home untill midnight!
Me and her 2 kids where pissed, no one knew where the hell she was at. She bullshited about last minute shopping but I know better.
That was the warning sign and shortly afer I found her at a bar with her girl friend setting her up with a friend of her from out of town(her friend was married so was this guy). This women always told me she wantted to get married to me but the warning signs and the vibs where all wrong and I was aware if it and saved myself more hurt be ending it with that 39year old slut of two wonderfull kids. I feel sorry for her kids and I confrimed my belief in
intuition. If it bothers you, you are on to something. Just like the gym, when you know the lift is more you can handle and an injury is imminent if you try it. Listen to your inner self, your sprit and soul are as much a part of you as your body and is aware of
all.
Good Luck

Damn F-Jet, think u got it. She was away for a few months doing a clinical (shes gonna be a Phys Ther), and all she could talk about was getting back together, crying, missing me. Then all a sudden everything changed, shes gonna trainer at a Golds Gym, said shes so busy and couldnt see me as soon as she got back even though she promised. Seems she’s all a sudden distant and too busy for me, it was like 180 degree turn soon as she got back home. Its bothered me a lot but she just said she was tired of being upset, swears she met no one now, or the 3 months she was in Florida, even going to a Golds down there. She swears and cries, but I doesnt seem possible. Anyway, I noticed a big change and worry its another guy. Hard to tell since she says no and shes so far away. And I do believe that girls want sex too, but to sleep with someone for the sake of it, bothers me. Especially since she’s had 8, me 4 and I was a virgin till 21, i’m 22 now.

I’ll admit I’m a dirty whore. I often find myself breaking down in the shower trying to scrub off the emotional dirt that just won’t wash off. “Got…to…get…clean!” I say. Hey guys, men and women can be whores. Nate Dogg, you have a good point. However, think about this. Women generally don’t want a guy who’s “been around”. I mean, you can’t tell a girl that you’ve had 36 partners and expect her to say, “so when are we hookin up?” So I mean in that regard, I think men and women are judged the same. To women, it isn’t ok for a guy to sleep around. It’s only fine for men to sleep around in mens’ eyes. But I really don’t care what another guy thinks of me in those terms, do you? Oh, and if Brandy or any of her friends are reading this, I was joking about the whore part. We all know I’m a virgin. :slight_smile: Except for that one accident…I fell.

You have already made a huge mistake, you care. Either stop caring or just go away. Last time I slept with a girl who said she only slept with 8, I got the clap. As you can imagine I was not happy. This bitch has almost the identical story to the girl I made the enormous mistake of dating. She was a whore a cheater and a liar. Her neame is not perhaps Rebecca is it? If so, run, lose her number and tell her to fuck off, because I assure she has slept with more than 8. Maybe 8 in the past week.

Damn bloody right, Nate Dogg. Young guys are worse about this sort of nonsense IMO. GROW UP and treat women as equals IN ALL RESPECTS (sorry for the shouting).

Don’t wanna sound like a cheesy PC “S.N.A.G.”, but I get the sense that sexuality is losing its specialness today and becoming increasingly cheapened. Instead of being a profound relationship between two people, it’s become as casual as ordering a pizza–I want some, so I’ll get some and never regret it later (*unless I’m in a cutting phase). When you say that someone is an emotional wreck, and that they also engage in sex so nonchalantly, it concerns me greatly. At the very least, it exhibits a troubling disrespect by her against YOU–you become a fix, the latest “honeymoon phase”, new excitement–all mistaken for romance or love. I have nothing against past experience and I’m actually quite liberal in my sexual attitudes, but when it’s lost its place as something special, there is NOTHING else which can take its place between two in a relationship. The specialness is gone. Be careful of that if you already see that tendency in her.

Nate’s right. This talk about a women being a slut because she’s exceeded some threshold number of sex partners is bullshit, plain and simple, and I doubt if it’s one any man would hold himself to. Who cares how many partners a woman’s had if she’s physically and mentally attractive? He’s only dating her, for god’s sake, not marrying her. (Of course, Curious’ woman sounds like she’s missing a cylinder or two in the mental department, but end she’s just a warm body to keep him company while he finds the the “right” one, much like he no doubt is to her.)

Curious…F-jet is absolutely right…get out now! You are pretty niave if you think that she hasn’t cheated on you. Besides, your description of her previous hook ups and behavior with you are signs of trouble. You could just keep her as a “fuck buddy” but I don’t even think that would be smart. Hopefully you’ll take the advice your getting and leave her alone…if not be sure to post again about how fucked up things have gotten. BTW I don’t say these things because I think she is a “dirty whore”…(I’ve been with women who have had more than 8 partners). I essentially agree with Note Dogg about the double standard thing…I think you should leave this particular lady alone because of her “emotional wreck” status and the way that she got with other guys. She may very well be a nice person…she just sounds like she has low self esteem and/or a need that you alone can’t fill.

On another note, what's up with Smithers being upset with his women sleeping with women. I would fucking love it if my wife liked pussy. Does it seriously not turn you on to think of your wife going down on a woman or a woman going down on her? Take advantage of that shit...can you say "menage a trois"?