T Nation

Proud Parent


Today, as a result of my encouragement and prodding over the last 3 weeks or so, my 4 year old went thru his entire and considerable inventory of toys, and culled those he no longer wanted or played with so that he could donate or gift them to someone less fortunate this Christmas. I know he's trying to please me of course, but I also believe he understands what I'm telling him about other kids not having toys or christmas presents. I'm trying to instill compassion and generosity in this young man, especially at this time of the year when so many will go without the luxuries that many of us selfishly and needlessly enjoy. I hope we can repeat the ritual each year. I am so very proud of him.

I read a local article about an old friend of mine who is throwing a fundraiser. His message was that he, and we, are not doing enough for the less fortunate. I have many mixed feelings about the complex problems of poverty but I do know this...someone is always "strong" where another is "weak" and I agree with his message. I don't have money to spare this year to give to charity, even if I knew what charity I'd like to give to. However, like I related, my son had an abundance of toys we didn't need, and he's being "strong" where some other child is surely weak. If someone is broken down on the side of the road, and you're driving by, you're "strong" and they are "weak"...at least for that moment. We may be short of money or time, but acts of kindness are usually free and we should show more kindness to our fellow man.

My son's mother's co-worker (does that make sense? lol) mentioned that she had a friend with a child and that they have fallen on bad times, moving from shelter to shelter and she was distressed that she had no money to give her child anything for Christmas. I don't care if she's in a shelter because she's a crackhead - there is an innocent child that will not experience the joy that my son experiences not only during Christmas, but judging by his toy inventory, experiences year round. It looks like thanks to my son, this young child will have at least some joy this Christmas...and hopefully, my son will learn that being a man includes being kind.

I think the purity of my son's actions (of all kids really - think about it, they know no prejudice, hatred, etc.) have gotten to me, and I'm hoping it will pass just as soon as one of you rude motherfuckers cuts me off in traffic and gives me the finger or, won't give me decent customer service, or post some dumb shit in one of these forums..well you get the point - I'll get back to normal with the help of a few assholes. So if any of you think I'm going soft, I assure you this will pass. In the meantime, maybe a few of us will be inspired to be kinder to our fellow man.


flacidly soft.
there, now you can make a sex joke and sound like one of those assholes who post on T-Nation.
but nice work, you're a good Dad.


How much hot sauce did you need to use to get him to give up his toys?


And where exactly did you put it?

There, that should take care of that warm and fluffy feeling.

You are welcome.


I assure you that you are not dealing with some amateur here. I have two older college aged boys. In this household, we use Dave's Ultimate Insanity Hot Sauce. And lest you think I'm one of those liberal, permissive, new age parents that makes the child hold the hot sauce in his mouth...WRONG. We do hot sauce enemas around here buddy...where did you think the expression "I'll smack fire out ya ass" come from?!


It's nice to know you're teaching your kid compassion.....thru hot sauce training....


At this point I'm starting to doubt the Jersey credentials.

(Meant somewhat as a joke. You should get your own anti-douchebag show.)


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That's awesome, BG!

My wife just bought a bunch of toys for some needy kids as well. There's a program with a list of kids and the things they desire. I was surprised that almost all the kids wanted simple things like board games, footballs, and dolls. You pick a kid and purchase the toys online. It was so easy.

EDIT: You said some things that make so much sense. Your "strong/weak" illustration demonstrates that even the strong can become weak even momentarily. I think our politicians should think in those terms and stop with the divisive rhetoric.


BG good job man, and as a father of 5 I could give a rats ass what other grown men think about me and my kids. In my opinion men who do the right thing with there kids are the REAL men in the world and that could include sitting at a tea party with there 4 year old daughter. NOT wearing tap out shirts and getting in bar fights. Keep up the good work.


BG, I think what you are teaching your kid is important. Several of my wife and I's friends do that with their kids and we plan on doing it with ours. Things that encourage kids to see beyond their own situation and seeing that others live quite different lives is important. I am constantly surprised when my college students can not see beyond their hometown and experience - they assume that everyone lives, likes, buys just like they do. It is sad, really.

DJHT, I remember after reading one of the many threads on here about "what makes a man" that to me, a man does whatever needs to be done and not only doing what is manly. That goes double for being a good father. Now I have not really participated in the tea parties I have been known to sing the Lonely Goatherder with my 2 yr old daughter.


She is still young brother it will come and I really, really, really miss the times when my daughter was young. Dont know if you know my daugther just gave birth to my grandson.


When I was a kid my mom asked me what I wanted to give another kid for Christmas- and every year for as long as I can remember we'd always give two presents for every present that we received, and when I was 16 and made money, I started doing it myself. There's an organization called NAM- Northwest Assistance Ministries that partners with our church a lot and every Christmas since I've filled out a bag or two for kids, and all because of what my mom taught me all those years ago.

So I strongly encourage this.


I am trying to enjoy all the time I get to spend with her. My wife an I have discussed how our daughter will likely rebel against my wife as a teenager so I am trying to make sure my daughters and I's bond is well established.

Congrats on the birth of your grandson.


Fair play to ya BG.

You are teaching your son some very important lessons about kindness and giving. He will be rewarded 'spiritually' (non-religious) and will be a better man for it!

What you said about being strong and weak is so true. Life deals you some good cards and then it can deal you some bad. The thing is, is there someone that can help you in your time of need OR can YOU help someone in theirs? It is a two way street that we all cross from time to time.

I believe in a Karma of sorts, in that if you do good things you will be rewarded with a positive attitude or a sense of well being that can only bring good to your life and those you share it with.

We are giving some of my little fellas toys to charity for Christmas. Lots of people over here have hit hard times becasue of the recession

Nice thread!


Hey bud, PM me the details of the program. I can spare a gift or two.


Hold on a minute...

I can still get in fights right? I can? No?


You get it, BG. Happy holidays to you and yours.


I believe that is called a Texas Chili Bowl punishment!


:slight_smile: Balance you can do it all.