T Nation

PROOF of GIRLS being pure EVIL

As we all know, Girls require two things, 1. TIME 2. MONEY
So, we have
Girls = TIME x MONEY
As everyone knows, TIME is MONEY
TIME = MONEY and therefore,
Girls = MONEY^2

Everyone also knows that money is the root of all evil. Therefore,

MONEY = EVIL^.5 (or the square root of EVIL)

From this, we plainly arrive at

Girls = (EVIL^.5)^2 and THEREFORE, my friends…
GIRLS = TIME X MONEY = MONEY^2 = (EVIL^.5)^2 = EVIL

Girls = Evil. Pretty simple eh?

  Special Thanks to: 

Euclid
Newton
Stephen Hawking
Socrates
Plato
Albert Einstein
Lucertius
and
Aristotle

While I agree with you conclusion, there is a flaw in your math.

“Money is the ROOT of all evil”

Why did you assume that the root is the squared root and not the cubed root?

In that case, money=evil^.333, which screws up your entire equation…

:slight_smile:
I know I’m a dick but someone messed with me when I was showing everyone the formula a couple years back so I had to do the same.

THAT is freakin’ ancient, man! Besides, its gay.

Women + men = SEX
SEX = good
Women = 1/2 sex
1/2 woman = 1/2 good
Therefore:
Women ain’t half bad

In faith, Billy

One more thing. The Bible doesn’t say money is the root of all evil. It says the love of money is the root of all evil.

I know, I know. Semantics. And I’m being anal - but everyone else is too, so I thought I’d point out another flaw. :slight_smile:

LOL. Very original!

All I wanted to do was make you guys smile… ::wipes tear from eye::

:slight_smile:

Actually, I thought the Bible said money is the root of all kinds of evil. Not that money is evil or all evil is from money.

Nope honey ya got it wrong…

Girls like cars and money. :slight_smile:

Thank you Good Charlotte!

Merlin got the quote right. Love of money is the culprit.

A lot of people take that quote as a justification for being in poverty. They also like to quote the one about “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven.” What they fail to do is keep reading, where it says, “but with God, all things are possible.”

Not that this is particularly on topic, but it’s just something that chaps my hide.

BillyBoy, who the hell taught you math? whoever it was, go back and smack them across the face :stuck_out_tongue: That is the worst proof I have ever seen in my many, many, many long years on this planet :stuck_out_tongue:

first, men+women does not equal sex. Men+women can equal plutonic friendship. Men+women can equal family… Now, on the other hand, sex=men+women in the heterosexual world, but that does not imply that men+women=sex (logic).

Next, lets suppose/assume that men+women=sex, and that women=1/2 sex.
sex=good
1/2 sex=1/2 good
1/2 good=women
women=1/2 good
You have to lay your steps out completely.

But, in reality, if men+women=sex,
women=sex-men,and who the hell wants that? HA! but i digress.

To continue with all of your mistakes and assumptions.
women=1/2 good
assuming women=1
assuming 1=good+bad
then women=1/2good
women=1/2 good + 1/2 bad
women=1/2 bad
Therefore women ARE INDEED half Bad.

I’m surprised no one has chimed in with an Ayn Rand quote yet!

I datwd Satan for awhile and believe me she is all bad! Women you can’t live with’em and you can’t eat’em. Well… maybe you can ;? I for one want to keep them around. The only other option is to find a way to asexually reproduce and invest in masturbatory devices. Who would want to asexually reproduce anyway? (disregard anything I say today. I had wisdom teeth pulled. I’m pissed and on drugs.)


I can only speak for my ex-wife.

When people ask why we divorced I say it was religious differences.

I’m Baptist and she’s Satan.

'nuf said

Hey, DA MAN. Go jerk off!

(j/k) I think we’re taking this a bit too far.

Here’s the facts:

Sex without women is sub-satisfactory, and lonely.

Sex with men is gay and not in my playbook.

Therfore, bring on da women!!

Billy

BILLYBOY: You`re talking about True Women (as opposed to Wimmen, girls, grrrls, and all premature mindstates) I hope … ?

(Yeah, I know, few and far between…)

I don’t think I have ever read a more beautiful post. It uses math and philosophy…I think I am going to cry. I have nothing to add, I am just jealous that I never thought of it that way…

… you guys crack me up

hey billyboy, fuggoff! i was just bustin your balls in jest. all in good fun.

I think it falls on the first part of the equation. If girls REQUIRE time and money, it doesn’t mean that they ARE time and money. Besides why are we multiplying time and money instead of just adding them up?

if GIRLS = TIME x MONEY is supposed to be true then TIME = GIRLS/MONEY which isn’t true. In my experience Girls divided by money equals bitch fight.

/Jacob