I believe you once asked me why I was relying on my job for social interaction.
I now pose the same question to you.
HA!
[quote]Professor X wrote:
belligerent wrote:
answer: you don’t
That’s been my take on it up to this point…but…TENS.
In fact, one wasn’t a dime…more like a buck and a quarter. This is unfair.[/quote]
Ask her if she has ever seen a cockasaurus and then go from there. Being inquisitive about science is rarely perceived as inappropriate.
[quote]nephorm wrote:
I believe you once asked me why I was relying on my job for social interaction.
I now pose the same question to you.
HA![/quote]
You waited way too long to try to get me back for that. There is a statute of limitations…bastard.
[quote]Mufasa wrote:
Prof:
- Ask you State Licensing Board about how to properly begin a personal relationship ( THUS ENDING ANY AND ALL PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND CONTACTS! ) with a patient. They don’t expect health care providers to be monks; but once you “compromise” the “Dr./Patient” relationship, they expect that relationship to end completely.
You don’t so even give that person 12-Hour Dristan for a cold.
They will be more than happy to discuss it with you without any prejudice or penalty. “Wing-it” and you’re toast.
- Once you have made any personal contact WHATSOEVER, you have to IMMEDIATELY and IN WRITING, and place IN THE CHART and send as Certified Letter to the patient, indicating that the Dr./Patient relationship you both had has to end.
I’ve known physicians who just made a personal phone call to a patient, and were reported to their Boards as making the patient “uncomfortable”. Now, reporting doesn’t mean any action will be taken; but you have to take the time to respond to the complaint.
This all may sound like a “hassle”; but not really. It’s just that Licensing Boards hold the Dr./Patient Relationship as almost Sacred.
Mufasa[/quote]
I appreciate the work you put into that response, man…really.
Disclaimer: I am probably the last person to give advice on dating.
I would think it would help if you started with small talk to try to figure out if you have something in common. If you can find something in common then you might be able to think of something. You have a motorcycle so maybe you figure out how to bring that up. If she has never been on a motorcycle then you can offer to take her for a ride. You obviously enjoy training so maybe you tell her she has potential as a figure competitor and that you could help her out.
For any lasting relationship you will need to find common interests anyway so you might as well work on that from the start. This might also help you screen out the airheads assuming you aren’t looking for airheads.
bpeck
X, as others have said, you really can’t at work. However, you don’t have to keep letting those dimes pass you by either. If you’re feeling a mutual vibe, just leave yourself more open (vs. being anti-social) which will increase the odds of them inviting YOU to do something or at least reveal more of what they’re doing in their free time. That�??s a good opportunity to say “hey, I do that too” and see if you can get a situation going outside of the office.
Other than that, you gotta leave it to fate and hope you bump into them somewhere outside of the office at which point she’s fair game.
Its a tough call but definitely tread very lightly at work. You busted your butt to get there, and I know you’re not going to take a chance for a piece of ass.
Not to compare a doctor with a massage therapist, but it is health care.
In my profession there is actually a given amount of time (6 mths) between the end of the “professional” relationship and the beginning of the “social” relationship to allow any false emotions to dissipate.
Let calmer minds prevail, if you will. But ethics may play a greater part for an LMT, being a little more of an intimate encounter.
In other words, I agree with Mufasa.
As a more serious post: I work at a place that has a lot of attractive female employees, many of whom are fresh out of college.
When I first started the job, I actually did attempt to ask out fellow employees. The organization is very large, and we had no overlapping functions, nor were we in the same chain of command.
Eventually, I realized that I did not want to continue this behavior, because I would end up being “that guy.”
If you are willing to be “that guy,” go right ahead. I think I would be willing to be “that guy” if I were successful in my advances.
[quote]nephorm wrote:
As a more serious post: I work at a place that has a lot of attractive female employees, many of whom are fresh out of college.
When I first started the job, I actually did attempt to ask out fellow employees. The organization is very large, and we had no overlapping functions, nor were we in the same chain of command.
Eventually, I realized that I did not want to continue this behavior, because I would end up being “that guy.”
If you are willing to be “that guy,” go right ahead. I think I would be willing to be “that guy” if I were successful in my advances.[/quote]
I don’t want to be “that guy”. It just kind of hit me today that I have let some major opportunities slip by.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
nephorm wrote:
As a more serious post: I work at a place that has a lot of attractive female employees, many of whom are fresh out of college.
When I first started the job, I actually did attempt to ask out fellow employees. The organization is very large, and we had no overlapping functions, nor were we in the same chain of command.
Eventually, I realized that I did not want to continue this behavior, because I would end up being “that guy.”
If you are willing to be “that guy,” go right ahead. I think I would be willing to be “that guy” if I were successful in my advances.
I don’t want to be “that guy”. It just kind of hit me today that I have let some major opportunities slip by.
[/quote]
I honestly don’t think you are “that guy” for giving it a shot once. I would take Mufasa’s advice, give it a shot, and if it doesn’t work out, you covered your ass and learned a lesson.
[quote]CJK wrote:
I honestly don’t think you are “that guy” for giving it a shot once. I would take Mufasa’s advice, give it a shot, and if it doesn’t work out, you covered your ass and learned a lesson.
[/quote]
You’re right. Once is no problem. But twice or more, and you may start to get a reputation in your office. I am also taking into consideration that the Prof already sticks out in a crowd.
If she really, truly wants him she will realize his situation and will come on to him.
If not, he missed out on one hot girl.
Big deal.
My professional code of ethics absolutely forbids it. But I’m messing with people’s heads, so it’s a reasonable restriction.
Leaving that aside, I’d be shocked if my dentist asked me out or sent flowers. But that may be because all my dentists have been unappealing. Really unappealing.
But leaving THAT aside, if an attractive dentist flirted with me, I think I’d be fine with it. However, if I were an attractive dentist, I’d look elsewhere for romance. It’s just not wise.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
But leaving THAT aside, if an attractive dentist flirted with me, I think I’d be fine with it. [/quote]
I love this, because it illustrates something I’ve known for a long time.
Advances from an unattractive guy are sexual harassment (regardless of the actual legal issues involved).
Advances from an attractive guy are just fine.
Life is so unfair.
True, Emily.
Most Professional Licensing Boards will tell you that the place where you have Dr./Patient relationships would NOT be the best place to develop and cultivate social relationships. That’s best left up to other venues.
However, we are human. And there is a chance that someone will come along that is worth developing a relationship with. One just has to realize that developing that relationship comes with conditions.
Mufasa
[quote]Tiribulus wrote:
Send flowers and a gentlemanly note to her house saying something about you had been thinking about her since she was in and you honestly didn’t know of a more proper way to approach her which would be the truth. It’s been about a million years since I was in a position anything like this, but that’s along the lines of what I’d do. It would be no mystery that her address is registered with the office. This seems to me to be the least easily misunderstood method.[/quote]
While it may be true that her address is registered with the office; one may have access to patient information in order to perform their job. Getting her address from the chart or practice management system and sending personal correspondence to her would be out of the scope of his duties. In other words… it would be inappropriate (and would get you terminated where I work).
[quote]Mr.Gone wrote:
you gotta leave it to fate and hope you bump into them somewhere outside of the office at which point she’s fair game.
[/quote]
Yes, exactly. This is the only right answer. When you are both outside of the office, approach her like you would any other woman. Of course, you can speed up fate if you know where she hangs out.
[quote]Kensei wrote:
Mr.Gone wrote:
you gotta leave it to fate and hope you bump into them somewhere outside of the office at which point she’s fair game.
Yes, exactly. This is the only right answer. When you are both outside of the office, approach her like you would any other woman. Of course, you can speed up fate if you know where she hangs out. [/quote]
Which is kind of like…stalking,but the good kind.
Hehehe…
[quote]cabre wrote:
Tiribulus wrote:
Send flowers and a gentlemanly note to her house saying something about you had been thinking about her since she was in and you honestly didn’t know of a more proper way to approach her which would be the truth. It’s been about a million years since I was in a position anything like this, but that’s along the lines of what I’d do. It would be no mystery that her address is registered with the office. This seems to me to be the least easily misunderstood method.
While it may be true that her address is registered with the office; one may have access to patient information in order to perform their job. Getting her address from the chart or practice management system and sending personal correspondence to her would be out of the scope of his duties. In other words… it would be inappropriate (and would get you terminated where I work).
[/quote]
Not having been in professions where this would be an issue I didn’t think of any of this. I was just making a suggestion.
too who ever said sending flowers was a good idea, yeah its a great idea once your done sending her flowers it’d be a great idea to cut your penis and sack off the cut yourself a fresh new vagina