T Nation

Prof X's Shower Routine?


Here's what I would like to know, Just what does he do, in what specific order to clean himself and make himself smell nice. Does he shave in the shower? or after? Use a washcloth? just a bar of soap and your hands? Wash the face first then the butt last? butt first face last? what kind of soap? what kind of shampoo? do you use shampoo on a bald head? water temp? brush your teeth in the shower or after?

Prof, please don't make us wonder anymore, give me all the details this is really hampering my development as a human being by not knowing this info. Thanks






Why does Professor X get all the good posts and questions? Wouldn't you rather know my showering/shaving/shitting habits? I'm sure mine are much more elaborate and odd compared to him.


I, for one, am tired of hearing him talk about things like he knows them. So finally, we can settle this. Professor, no more big talk untill you spill the beans on how you clean yourself. I don't want to hear ANY more insults/advice or anything like that, untill we know just how you wash yourself. It's time to sink or swim baby.


Just ask Xen Nova, I'm sure he knows.


Would that mean you reposting that pic from the rough metrosexual thread or whatever it was called?



To sum up professor X's shower routine:

  • turn the shower on, set the knob all the way to hot...prof x hot.

  • shut the door, stand outside of it... start high stepping...flash dance style.

  • keep high stepping, start humming "i'm a maniac, maniac for sure!". At this point rip the towel off your body

  • sprint into the tub and hop into the shower.

  • Immediately grab knob (no homo) and turn the heat down some... you're hot enough to warm up the water... plus you don't want to singe your bod.

  • you grab your luffa and lava soap... only pussy's use a washcloth

  • scrub a dub dub... and repeat motherfucker. Make sure to get them cracks...and beind ur ears.

  • Once Squeaky clean, flash dance yourself dry.

Take away points:

  • Flash dance... and flash dance hard.

  • Squeaky clean mothafuckas.

Fyi: I'm poking fun at myself not prof X




There are some things the public just does not need to know.

And Nate that comic book is just wrong.


Hey Prof. X has made it to superstar status.

Do you prefer toilet paper or muscle mags to whip with?

Prof.X were you born big,or did you work hard for it?

Prof.X do you prefer men or women.


P.S. What kind of razor do you use??


Great post Xen, hilarious.


WTF is going on here?




It is a spoof of this thread:

Thanks Xen, I have not laughed that much at a thread in a long time.


I know that: a Gilette Mach 3

However, super sophisticated that I am I use a Gilette Mach 3 turbo.



Razor? He shaves with the wretched, wailing souls of 140# personal trainers he has eaten


Actually, Prof. X died 15 years ago...

...but Death hasn't plucked up the courage to tell him.




Prof X asked me to forward this on:

Do you want to get clean or just smell like you're clean because that's what the girls in your HS like? Why do you want to know how to get clean when you don't even work hard enough to be dirty? You probably don't eat enough to have shits big enough to make your ass dirty. Just take 6 to 12 months to work hard and get real dirty before you even think about cleaning yourself. And why on earth is anyone recommending cleaning your entire body at one time? For the life of me I can't understand this logic. Do you honestly think that every clean guy got that way by cleaning his whole body at one time? Just because Chad Waterbury says he cleans his whole body, suddenly it's considered wrong for everybody to split up cleaning? I am too big to clean my whole body at one time without completely exhausting myself to the point where I wouldn't be able to clean again for a week. Splitting my cleaning is what works for me. You asked me my opinion, there it is, take it or leave it.