T Nation

Problems I Seem Unable to Fix

(about my lifestyle in general)

Hello everyone,

I am Aegis67, a 19-year-old guy (turning 20 in October) from the Netherlands. I am 185cm of height (and if I have to believe the google calculator 1 foot = 30.48, making me 6,07 feet tall) and I weigh in at a little 65kg (1 pound = 0.453kg, making meâ?¦ 143.5lbs).

When I look in the mirror I see some muscles here and there, especially my pecs/abs (for a guy of my age I actually have above average muscles compared to other 19yos in my country) but I believe itâ??s just a genetic advantage (aside from the abs, anyone eating as little as me has an 8pack), because I have a lot of problems with food.

Now I donâ??t want to sound like a whiny little boy who cries on every message board that heâ??s a â??hardgainerâ?? or some faggotish shit (Iâ??ve been reading T-Nation for years and started training 2 years ago,

unfortunately I was inexperienced and didnâ??t know my shit, neither could I eat enough food and thatâ??s still a problem), but I really need some help with my eating habits without having to contact some dietist for more money than I can afford while she gives me advice that would be good for â??normalâ?? people who do not want to look uberripped. I figured you guys could help me out.

Now I know that it might be pretty hard, as all of you are loaded with testosterone and are very alpha and have this whole â??stfu and liftâ?? â??just eat faggot youâ??re not in auschwitzâ??-mentality (not saying itâ??s bad, I like it actuallyâ?¦

but right now it doesnâ??t work in my advantage) and probably some sort of allergy to people with my physique and problems, but I really want to become like one of you guys and I really hope that you wonâ??t respond too negatively or harshly and can help a â??whiny little crybabyâ?? (as most of you probably stereotype me) out of the world :slight_smile:

My first problem is my sleeping rhythmâ?¦ which I find very hard to change. It is one of the reasons why I quit my education (wellâ?¦ was kicked out of school because I didnâ??t show up much) �  I am simply unable to get out of bed early and stay awake for a long time.

According to the (specialist)doctor itâ??s worse than â??just being a night-personâ?? and something I have in me because my father AND mother suffered from very heavy migraine and epilepsyâ?¦ I donâ??t necessarily believe what he says (though I probably should because heâ??s a specialist), but that is because it will sound like there is no way I can change it and I really want to change it.

Simply going to bed earlier will not work â?? I wonâ??t fall asleep. I have tried melatonine supplements (not the ones you buy over the counter with way too many mg in it) and many a medicine but nothing seems to work effectively. In fact, the doctor would not give me sleeping pills first so I actually searched (and found) for someone who had sleeping pills and explained my problem and he sold me some very heavy sleeping pills.

It doesnâ??t work, if I take them at 10 PM I will sleep till next day 12 PM, if I take them at 7 PM I will sleep till 12 PM next day, if I take them for 2 weeks at 8 PM I will sleep till 12 PM for 14 days. Iâ??ve also tried going to bed at other times, but it doesnâ??t seem to work. Iâ??ve tried this:

Only going to bed when Iâ??m really sleepy, putting clock at different times in the morning (6 AM, 7 AM, 8 AM) and just keep doing this �  fail

Going to bed at and set clock at [y] �  I lay awake till 3-5 AM, fall asleep, wake up by clock and feel shit whole day, try to fall asleep earlier because Iâ??m tried �  lay awake but this time feeling shit till 3-5 AM

Shifting eating patterns �  I live with my parents (more on this later) and they eat at â??normalâ?? times, so I canâ??t have breakfast at 12 PM (btw if I wake up at 12 PM Iâ??m luckyâ?¦ usually itâ??s 12:30 â?? 14:30)

So how does my eating look right now?

13:30 â?? eat 4 slices of (brown, the good type) bread with natural peanut butter + drink this â??liquid breakfast milkâ?? (which I think is probably for 13yo girls who are 5â??1 and weigh less than my dogâ?¦ but itâ??s better than milk and has some ok calories compared to whole milk and stuff and fruit juice).

Sometimes I drink a huge fruitshake (like 1 litre of blended fruitâ?¦ normal shake would contain something like: 15 strawberries, 1 banana, 20 blueberries, 20 grapes and whatever I can find) which doesnâ??t always taste that good lol but I can down it without feeling nauseous afterwards, which is the case and here is also my problemâ?¦ with too much lactose.

Now Iâ??m not lactose intolerant (thank god!) but if I get too much milk or yoghurt I almost throw up. I have the same problem with oatmeal, Iâ??ve tried making it with water but it doesnâ??t work either, I canâ??t stomach oatmeal :frowning: (also tried different brands/types). Luckily I can eat eggs like any normal person without having problems but to eat 5-6 eggs a dayâ?¦ Not very attractive.

17:30 â?? Dinner, whatever we eat (live at parents remember?)

â?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦and thatâ??s it. Yes I know it gives you pain reading it, imagine me actually doing it. I just canâ??t find a good way to get more calories. Right now I have been trying nuts, a lot of them (first salted but then I realized that was bad even though they taste much worse unsalted heheâ?¦ so now theyâ??re unsalted).

I like almost all nuts (before we get lame jokes h�©h�© :wink: ), almond, macademia, cashew, peanut (I eat peanut the least because the others are better I think) and I even eat many seeds (sesame seed, flaxseeds grindedâ?¦) because theyâ??re easy cals I think. I have some troubles with the oils (how do you take olive oil (extra virgin of course) and flaxseed oil etc.? Just put it in a tablespoon and gogo?). Anyway, despite all this I still donâ??t eat enough.

Now you say: why donâ??t you drink protein shakes with weight gainersâ?¦? Well I do that, but I canâ??t have the stuff at home because my parents are paranoia and think everything that is not a potato or apple = uberanadrolhalotestinmix and illegal on earth and mars. I take it at fitness (I go to fitness 3x a week and after each workout protein + gainers in milk), I also use (pure) creatine but I donâ??t see the gains that I want (which is common sense when you see my dietâ?¦ almost no kcal and not enough protein at the right time).

Now you might think: dude you are almost 20, tell your parents to stfu. Well I have no education or diploma or job (recession + no money heh) so my parents pay everything for me â?? my food, computer, internet connection, phone bill (!), fitness membership (I have an uberfitness with sauna, steam baths almost all equipment you can imagine (thick bars one of them)

and then some and no faggots doing single leg yoga inverse kettlebell howling gosu ball lunges of the flying werewolf +5 to strength on a balance board with flowers, just good squats, benchpress, military press, deadlifts etcâ?¦ and as for the money, I get allowance with what I can do whatever I want (buy creatine + visit my girlfriend :slight_smile: more on that later (omg more? Yes, sorry. Double sorry for no pictures :smiley: hehe).

I actually think I have found a job (have applied for 8 jobs in the last 4 months but all rejected because I have no nice curriculum vitae and everyone is searching for easy jobs without necessary diploma and itâ??s extra hard for me because I canâ??t rise early right now), so it solves the money problem a bit, allowing me to buy more supplements.

Anyone know good over the counter products I should buy? I was thinking of a good whey protein (very hard to findâ?¦ some have so much shit in themâ?¦ or should I save up and buy online? How much is Biotest shipping cost to the Netherlands anyway?)

Now the girlfriend problemâ?¦ She lives quite a while away and I go to her every other week or so and stay with her for about 5-7 days, but she is very lean/small (she is older than me, no pedo here heh) and eats even less and typical â??girlâ?? stuff that wonâ??t really help me (o yummy chocolate crispies for breakfast, might as well eat sugar cubes for breakfast keke -_-)

so I am searching for something to eat at her that is easily prepared in the morning (or in my case early afternoon). The kitchen there is really really dirty (student-flat with only 1 kitchen and 2 bathrooms = sux lol) so I try to avoid using itâ?¦ Also I have to use my allowance money to buy stuff (now I can ask my aunt: hey can you bring xx (like coconut milk) and she will bring it when she did groceries) when Iâ??m at her place.

Of course I canâ??t work-out when Iâ??m at her place (except for cardio :wink: although I sometimes do some diamond push-ups and dips and one-legged squats etc. but itâ??s just so I can do SOMETHINGâ?¦) and usually my appetite is a bit smaller anyway and itâ??s already so small.

Which brings me to the last problemâ?¦ I have really low appetite. Right now I am already pushing myself (and sometimes accidentally push too far �  I throw up an hour after or wake up at 6 AM and then throw up).

Right now I am doing the following, which is a bit of a help but not muchâ?¦

Experimenting with a biphasic sleep pattern. Basically do the same like they do in countries where the weather is good. I go to sleep at 3 AM or so (usually fall asleep quickly), alarm at 6-7 AM (depends), wake up feeling ubershit, wait a while (if I eat right after I wake up I have to throw up.

Yes I know it sucks, Iâ??ve tried many times but just doesnâ??t work), then eat. Do some stuff, fall asleep in the afternoon and then I wake up fresh again and work-out/do normal daily routine.

Eating lots of buttercakes (donâ??t know English word) which I stomach quite decent and are lots of calsâ?¦ not very healthy though but I lack alternative

Try to increase my workcapacity (I spent whole day in front of the computer on non-training and non-girlfriend days from 13:30 to 03:00â?¦ and on training days only break I get is training)

So can you guys please help me with some of the problems stated above? Would be greatly appreciated. Like I said I think I have work soon so it will solve some problems (will be able to buy supplements myself and better food at gf).

I have the training part down though, thatâ??s not really a prob.

If necessary I can post pictures of me? Flexed and unflexed (I think you can imagine how I look though lol).

P.S. - I don’t consume alcohol or smoke or something.

EDIT: It’s 4:07 AM here so I will go to sleep now, cya in the afternoon :slight_smile:

jesus christ. you don’t want to change. that’s your problem. quit making excuses.

if you spend all day in front of a computer, it’s going to keep you up.

so you got kicked out of school because you were too lazy to get up? why aren’t you embarrassed? change it. start being responsible for yourself.


Yeah man I have the same problem with sleeping and shit, you just got to suck it up and start drinking coffee. You will actually begin to enjoy living off 5 hours of night sleep and if you make time for a nap later, you’ll be straight.

I have also had sleeping problems and tendency to shift to later and later times.

I got through college thanks to Twinlab Ripped Fuel – the powdered drink version. Man it was tasty, which was not what did the job, but rather it was loaded with caffeine and ephedrine. Rather promptly converting me from non-functional at an early hour such as 7 AM, to functional.

Now you probably cannot get ephedrine but you can get caffeine and may find another legal stimulant that works for you.

Secondly, if you HAVE to get up by a given time this WILL fix the drifting personal clock problem.

These days I have a Moluccan cockatoo and a blue and gold macaw – which are VERY loud birds – that make it impossible to sleep past 8 AM the great majority of the time. (That’s the latest-in-the-morning deal that I’ve been able to negotiate with them.)

Thank you for your replies.

I have actually tried caffeine, but I don’t respond to it too well (meaning I don’t get much energy out of it unless I consume like 2-3 cans of energy drink. I once tried this which helped me get up earlier and be OK (long time ago when going to school) but noticed caffeine dependency kicked in (headaches and stuff).

But the problem is that I always feel shit afterwards. I have tried drinking insane amounts of water and yes it forced me to get out of bed at 6 AM or so (which I do right now too, trying to following the biphasic sleeping pattern and napping in the early afternoon) but I feel really shit. Still doing that though as for now that’s the most effective :slight_smile:

Your life sounds so fucked up that training appears to be the least of your worries.

And no, you don’t tell your parents to stfu. But you should give them benefit of getting some education being productive with your life. Sleep problems are pretty common so I don’t doubt you can find something on the internet about your issue. This is obviously having a major effect on your whole life so I would sort this out before anything else.

if you live in the netherlands why don’t you just smoke some weed to go to sleep instead of relying on chemical sleeping aides which cause a hangover (and as you explained you sleep too long)

should help with the appetite as well

Helping the OP to an stimulant like weed will not help in my opinion. Aegis67, from what I have read you lack consistency and order in your life. Why not start a new study in september? It’s better to educate yourself to improve your chances in a working society. Gaining more muscle should not be the first priority in my opinion, getting yourself back on track is.

Thanks for the replies so far. Those areas of my life are getting handled now (talking with a professional who helps me with job/moving out/etc., biphasic sleep pattern works but I need to fix some things etc.), but even if all of those get handled I will still have problems with my food intake. I can drink a lot (way more than regular humans), but eating is my problem.

I was wondering if you guys had any tips about eating in particular or some drinks perhaps, anything to get easy kals in. I read somewhere that water is a good bulking drink but I don’t know if it was a joke.

Also, I will be going to my girlfriend in a few minutes so I will not reply for this week or so…

How are your anxiety levels, etc.?

For more calorie dense food, look for nuts, milk, olive oil, and so on.

I think the overall best advice would be to stop being such a damn loser.

First, just to be nice, since is the beginner forum, make sure you have any glaring medical problems, especially revolving around the sleep. Things like sleep apnea or manic depression or anything. Let’s assume there are no actual medical problems.

Things like jobs and school often require being awake at times that are not of your choosing. You have to just suck it up and make sure you can be awake during those times. I’d like to sleep late too, but my job requires me to work normal hours. I actually have to wait up a few hours earlier just to give the caffeine enough time to kick in so I’m functional.

As for the food, there’s a pretty easy way to address the vomiting: Experiment with things to see if you can eat them. If you can, then experiment with the quantity to find out how much you can eat. Then eat more of that. For instance, most people will throw up after drinking a gallon of cold milk, the stomach can’t handle it.

And as for dinner being whatever the parents want… that’s fine. Just eat more of it, whatever it is.

Hey all I’m back.

I have a question; I have purchased a type of coconut milk with 180 kcal in 100ml, there is 2g of protein, 3,5g of carbs but 17g of the wrong fat in it (saturated in english iirc). However, I know there is a lot of stuff going on with coconuts and iirc it was an exception. Can someone shed some light on this?

I also noticed that ‘normal’ coconut milk has about the same kcal per 100ml as whole milk (around 75kcal), the coconut milk I purchased was with xx% fat.

Another question: is it ok if I grind, say, cashews or other type of nuts and throw them through drinks? Or is this somehow less effective than eating them as a whole?

Why did that come out in "coded"formation?