I will suck.
I will suck harder than anyone has ever sucked. No dirt, dust bunnies, or mites can withstand the power of my suction.
No couch is too heavy for me to lift. No lint will hide under my dresser.
I am master of the stairs. None is more adept with the onboard tool. No upholstery can withstand my mighty brush. No crevice or crack is safe from my tool.
I will conquer the carpet.
Because I suck MIGHTILY!!!